There is no denying that we live in a complicated and sometimes confusing world. Everything we say must be couched in caveats and disclaimers; seemingly harmless or innocent things can be surprisingly controversial. For example, pineapple belongs on pizza, pie is better than cake, dogs are definitely better than cats and coffee is objectively terrible. I was tempted to end that sentence with “come at me, bro,” because I’m ready for the ensuing fight. But, if I weren’t ready for that fight, I would have to say “while all pizza choices are valid, and I’m not saying you’re wrong if you don’t do this, I like pineapple on my pizza.” Or, “Obviously cake is delicious, no one is denying that, but for me, personally, I think pie is better than cake.” Except for the coffee thing, there’s no polite way to say that coffee is terrible (it just is). 

There are lots of things in this world that are not innocuous. There are serious things that we all must face each and every day. And I think, today, for the subject at hand, I’m ready for a fight. I’m going to be unapologetic.

Growing up, becoming functioning members of society, is about how we contend with society and ourselves. And we have choices to make in how we do this. We can go with the flow and let society dictate to us what we think and how we act. We can do what we think is right, based on how we feel in the moment. Or, and this is the toughest one yet, we can let God tell us what is right and what is wrong and how to live our lives. 

And God really wants us to choose Him, but He will always let us choose. “I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him for He is your life and the length of your days” (Deuteronomy 30:19-20).

In a myriad of ways, society tells us how to think about ourselves. This is especially true for women. From TikTok to Instagram, to streaming television and Snapchat, we are given a lot of information on who we’re “supposed” to be. We’re supposed to have flawless skin (thank you filters and Photoshop), be simultaneously thin while eating nachos and cheese fries with the guys (thanks TV shows with the tomboy protagonist); we should be beautiful, but accessible (thanks every teen rom-com ever) and most importantly, inherently be better than men (thanks to every TV show with a bumbling dad, “girlboss” culture and radical feminism).

Most of these messages aren’t stated outright, but they still influence our thoughts and beliefs about who we are and what our value is and where it lies. And so many of these messages are lies! Unfortunately, we live in a society that is influenced by Satan, “who is the god of this world, [and] has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe” (2 Corinthians 4:4, New Living Translation). This isn’t to say that the exact opposite of these messages is the truth; Satan is a liar, but he mixes truth in with lies to make them easier to accept. Notice Genesis 3:1-5: “Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, ‘Has God indeed said, “You shall not eat of every tree of the garden”?’ And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, “You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.”’ Then the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’”

Satan told the truth; the fruit from that tree would open their eyes to know good and evil, but he mixed it with a lie, that they wouldn’t die. This deception ushered in death for all of mankind. And his goal is to continue to deceive people, leading them to death. 

I can’t possibly address every single lie that we are told by society. It would be overwhelming for both you and me . . .  plus, my submission deadline for this article is looming. So, I will limit myself to two lies that our culture tells us. 

1. Our value comes from our appearance

To quote a popular Instagram star, Elyse Myers, “The way you look is the least interesting and important thing about you.” Your value is not determined by your skin, your hair or the size of your body. Standards of beauty change, we age, we gain weight, we lose weight, we get scars, we get stretch marks, our hair gets thicker or thins. Outward beauty does not matter. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30, New International Version). 

This truth shouldn’t be controversial, but my caveat alarm bells are freaking out in my brain: but, but, but . . ! No buts. We are more than what we look like. Our character matters more than what we look like! “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

2. We are inherently better or worse than men

There was a time in our culture when women were viewed as property and as incapable of having any sort of intellect. It’s crazy to think of that, and I know there are some cultures around today that still view women in this way. 
It is not true. Men are not inherently better or smarter than women. 

Certain tropes today would have us believe that men are bumbling idiots who only survive because their long-suffering wives and mothers take care of them. 

This is not true. Women are not inherently better or smarter than men. 

We are equals in the eyes of God. We have the exact same potential: members of the family of God. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). How great is that? 

Both men and women have equal potential in the eyes of God. The opposite gender is not our enemy; Satan is. He would have us pitted against each other, distracting us from our duty to love one another. “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). 

When we view each other as family members working together toward the same goal, we can achieve great things. 

So, what is the truth and what is the lie? 

The truth is God created us in His image, and He created us with purpose and intrinsic value as potential members of His family; you matter, you have value, you have a purpose. The lie is that your value or purpose can be found through external validation from society. “An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent and virtuous], who is he who can find her? Her value is more precious than jewels and her worth is far above rubies or pearls” (Proverbs 31:10-12, Amplified Bible). 

Don’t believe the lies! Focus on the truth of your value and cultivate the things that are most interesting about you: your interests and your hobbies, your talents and your gifts and your relationship with God. And take the time to build relationships with other Christians focusing on the most interesting things about them!