Growing from a teenager into a young adult is an exciting time of life. As a girl-crazy teen, I had fun saying, “I was a Boy Scout, and now I’m a girl scout.” And Will Rogers, the famous entertainer, was known for saying, “I never met a man I didn’t like.” I used to quip, “I never met a girl I didn’t like.”

Like me, most of you will eventually want to be married, so you should begin making mental and spiritual preparations for marriage now.

Following creation and the establishment of the Sabbath, the very next thing God instituted was marriage!

To summarize, God told Adam and Eve to get married (“be joined”), enjoy sex together (“become one flesh”), and have kids (“be fruitful and multiply”) (Genesis 2:24; Genesis 1:28). How about those priorities?!

If you choose to not get married for good reasons, that’s okay too. The apostle Paul explained some of the valid reasons for choosing not to marry (1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 1 Corinthians 7:25-35).

Protect your future marriage

God’s Seventh Commandment—You shall not commit adultery—shows how passionate God is about protecting marriage. When something pure becomes adulterated, it means it is polluted and partly spoiled. In fact, by its definition the seventh commandment includes all the other laws regarding sex—laws forbidding fornication, polygamy, homosexual sex, incest and bestiality. Also forbidden is sexual lust, which means God wants you to never view pornography (see Matthew 5:27-30). In God’s sight, sex within marriage is a wonderful blessing, but sex before or outside of marriage is sinful and destructive (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Hebrews 13:4).

Don’t think: “It’s my body. I can do with it what I want.” Our bodies and minds belong to God for two reasons: God created us, and we were “bought at a price” by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). The only sexual activity that God permits with His property is within a marriage.

Furthermore, you are not even second in authority over your body—your wife or future wife is (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). In part this means you should think of your sexual organs as belonging to your wife or future wife.

Clearly, God’s plan is for everyone to remain a virgin until marriage, but this goal is increasingly rejected and mocked in today’s society. The word “virgin” has a wonderful meaning—“unused, unspoiled, untarnished, pure”—as in virgin forests, virgin soil, virgin snow, virgin wool, and virgin olive oil. So don’t let other people confuse you or sidetrack you from this priceless goal of remaining a virgin until your wedding night.

When you get married, the most important gift you give your wife (or husband) is not the ring: It is yourself—your whole mind, heart, and body—unused, unadulterated, pure, virgin; not second-hand or third-hand. By saving yourself just for her or him, you will be saying: “I have loved you with true love my whole life even though I had not met you.”

The most damaging sin

Of all the various kinds of sins, the most self-destructive are sexual sins. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, Paul was quoting from Proverbs 6:32 when he wrote: “So run away from sexual sin. It involves the body in a way that no other sin does. So if you commit sexual sin, you are sinning against your own body” (Easy-to-Read Version). In this scripture, the word “body” does not only mean the physical body, but also takes into account the state and health of one’s mind and heart.

Moreover, the destructive consequences of immorality are emphasized in Proverbs 2:10-20; Proverbs 5:1-23; Proverbs 6:23-35; Proverbs 7:1-27; Proverbs 9:13-18; and many other scriptures. In fact, nearly every New Testament book has a warning against any immoral activity.

Flee from temptations!

In this day and age, countless young people make a common and costly mistake—they think it is okay to engage in passionate embraces and kissing, as long as they have the good intention of “not going all the way.” Well, one temptation leads to another, and those good intentions often fail.

Instead, God wants us to think of passionate kissing and touching as the “foreplay,” the first stage of intercourse. That means He doesn’t want any non-married couple to engage in “making out” (passionate kissing, etc.), as it can stimulate a craving for full intercourse.

On top of all this, engaging in foreplay may be likened to playing with fire! Proverbs 6:27-28 asks: “Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared?” This passage is referring to the automatic bad consequences of immoral sex—scars to one’s mind and heart, and sometimes physical consequences such as pregnancy or even a sexually-transmitted disease.

So what is the solution? To avoid and stay far away from temptations to commit sin! God wants you to “flee sexual immorality” and “flee also youthful lusts” (1 Corinthians 6:18; 2 Timothy 2:22, emphasis added throughout). Pray regularly for God to help you to do this, especially when confronted by a specific temptation.

Secondary virginity

In the event that you ever do make a mistake and lose your virginity outside of marriage, it is possible for your mind and heart to experience gradual healing from some of the damage by dedicating yourself to reaching “secondary virginity.” You can look up this term on the Internet.

The healing begins to take place as soon as you are deeply sorry and repentant for your actions and ask God for His forgiveness (see 1 John 1:9).

Choose a compatible partner!

If you and your wife (or husband) are highly compatible and have a lot in common; such as the culture to which you are accustomed, the easier it will be to have a harmonious and happy marriage. It’s especially important to have similar spiritual values, principles, and goals. This means you must get to know a potential lifetime companion very well.

Of course all compatibility factors should be considered, but according to the Bible, God only requires one type of compatibility—spiritual compatibility. If you are in God’s Church and you want to get married, God expects you to only consider those who are also in God’s Church. Why? Because it’s an even greater advantage if both you and your spouse are baptized and have the indwelling gift of the Holy Spirit.

Numerous scriptures in the Old Testament place great emphasis on not marrying anyone of another religion (Deuteronomy 7:1-6; Judges 3:5-7; 1 Kings 11:1-4; Ezra 9:1-2, Ezra 9:12-14; Ezra 10:1-18, Ezra 10:44; Nehemiah 13:23-27). Even in the New Testament, Paul plainly says in 1 Corinthians 7:39 that a woman “is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”

In other words, if you have been called (John 6:44, John 6:65) by God (and if you grew up in God’s Church, you automatically have been called, as has been explained in United Church of God articles), God doesn’t want you to consider marrying anyone who has not also been called by Him. For more great information regarding having a godly marriage, feel free to read through 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 and Ephesians 5:1-17.

When both spouses are in God’s Church, there are many practical benefits. You both will have the same ultimate goal of God’s Kingdom, so you will be true partners in that spiritual journey (Matthew 6:33; Amos 3:3). You will be less likely to have been scarred by past sins. You will be attending the same church services and social activities. When children come along, you will be in agreement as to what to teach them. Finally, you two will enjoy discussing the Bible together for the rest of your life, and there will be many other benefits.

Make your promise and keep it! Remember that God wants the very best for you, so trust His guidance completely. He wants you to be able to “live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your . . . life” (Ecclesiastes 9:9), without having to regret past sexual sins. And finally, God wants you and your future spouse to be equal partners in preparing to become part of His great family in the Kingdom of God!