Grief is a deep sadness when someone dies or when you have a major change in your life. Levels of grief can vary and be caused by many things, such as the loss of a loved one, moving to a new school or congregation and missing your old friends, ending a close relationship or friendship, or working through a major diagnosis such as cancer. Although you may experience various stages of grief, there are some things that may help you process your emotions and overtime lessen the intensity of grief.

Understand your emotions

When you experience grief, it can be difficult to navigate the strong emotions that arise. Becoming aware of those emotions is a good first step. For example, you may feel anger, numbness, shock, depression, guilt, abandonment, resentment or disappointment. Using the Wheel of Emotions (you can Google it and download the image) gives you quick access for those moments when you’re experiencing tough emotions. This will also help you to effectively communicate with others what you are experiencing as you grieve. Sharing your emotions with close friends or family members, or journaling your thoughts can be effective ways to express your feelings.

Pay attention to physical changes

Grief may affect you physically, such as weight loss or gain as you experience appetite changes. You may also experience restlessness or changes in sleeping patterns, wanting to sleep additional hours or not being able to fall or stay asleep. Understanding that there are connections between your emotions and your body’s physical responses can be helpful when processing grief. And you can actually use those connections to your advantage. For example, taking deep breaths (a physical response) can be helpful to work through and ease anxiety (an emotional response).

Seek advice and support

Grief may lead to questions such as, “Why did God allow this to happen?” Taking your questions to your parents, your minister or trustworthy friends may assist in processing such hard and deep questions. Reflecting upon these questions with others can help deepen our relationship with God and help us more fully understanding His plan. We can come to appreciate the need for His Kingdom and His victory over death (1 Corinthians 15:54).

Moving forward

Grief may last a long time, but as you move forward each day, it will eventually become less intense. Keeping your loved one in your memories is important. You may speak of your loved one often to others, or keep a photo of them in your locker at school, or some place in your home where you will see it every day. It’s perfectly normal to want to talk about your loved one as you process your grief. Reminiscing over the memories you share with your loved one is very important!

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some days, you may be angry and other days you may share laughter as you remember fond memories of your loved one. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to laugh. Grief is complicated, so be patient with yourself as you navigate such hard emotions. Keep in mind that it’s best not to grieve alone. Incorporate the loss of your loved one into your life even after they are gone through expressing emotions with others and sharing memories of your loved one.

If you or someone you know is in need of counseling, please speak with your parents or your local minister to locate a Christian therapist near you.

Rebekah holds a Masters Degree in Professional Counseling and is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor in Ohio. She has an affinity for mentoring and supporting others as they work toward achieving their goals.