Modern culture is filled with pornography—it’s everywhere. Sexually explicit images and videos are easy to find on the Internet and in many other places. But that’s only part of the problem. Images and videos that reveal just a bit less, often referred to as “soft porn,” are literally everywhere. Sexual themes and imagery are very commonly used in movies, television, Internet and magazines. It’s inescapable.

The rampant use of sex in media and easily available porn make life very difficult. Young men and women who are learning to embrace God’s way of life must strive to resist their harmful effects! God created sex to be a blessing when used rightly. But wrong use of sex makes it a curse, filling life with negative consequences.

How can we maintain a healthy and balanced view of sex with so much pornography around us? We can’t eliminate porn from the culture around us, but we can definitely choose our response to those influences. Jesus said that to fight against the dark and sinful aspects of their culture, Christians must put effort into living their lives in the light (John 12:35). This means filling your life with actions that are true and right.

A clear understanding of how consuming pornography differs from the right use of sexuality is the most powerful aid to resisting it’s dark temptations. It is possible to choose a better path, filled with light.

Consider three common myths about pornography, versus the truth of right sexuality:

Myth #1: Pornography is harmless and fun

Much of society doesn’t see pornography as a serious problem. Like many other forms of sin, it’s often passed off as “just something that people do.” Some go further in passive acceptance, treating it like childhood mischief that should just be overlooked. Sadly, many openly accept it, believing it’s an acceptable way to “have a little fun.”

In reality, porn is wrong at its very core. This means that there are no right or acceptable ways to use it and only negative outcomes if you do. The list of harmful effects includes:

• Unrealistic sexual expectations
• Relationship instability/unhappiness
• Difficulty expressing yourself
• Difficulty relating to others
• Anxiety and/or depression
• Sexually transmitted diseases (if you act on what you see)

Ironically, both participants and consumers of pornography are at high risk for these undesirable effects and many others. Despite being made to seem glamorous and highly desirable, working in the “sex industry” or consuming its products has very painful results.

Truth #1: Within a proper marriage, sex is both harmless and fun

It is God’s design that a man and woman should “become one flesh,” both physically and spiritually, within a loving marriage (Genesis 2:21-25). He didn’t create sex as an unfulfilling duty meant only for procreation. Rather it’s also an intensely enjoyable way to forge a unique and lasting bond between husband and wife. Within the safe boundaries of a committed, loving marriage, sex is only a blessing and “He [God] adds no sorrow with it” (Proverbs 10:22).

Myth #2: Pornography shows what sex is like

It’s natural as a young person to want to learn about sex and what it will be like. Viewing porn is the last place you’ll find accurate answers! In reality, most pornography is a carefully scripted production that is staged, rehearsed and edited. As a result, like many other forms of media, it is filled with acting, exaggeration and partial reality.

Very bluntly, the average person’s experience with sex is likely to be very different from what pornography portrays. Those differences between what you see in pornography and what actually happens in normal life cause real problems. Instead of preparing you to enjoy sex rightly, it robs you of the true joy of sex that God intended.

In porn, sex is purely physical, and the participants are portrayed far more as objects that serve your desires than as people who should be loved. Here’s a reality check—people don’t like to be treated as things! Your future husband or wife won’t stand for the kinds of behavior that pornography promotes, and they shouldn’t.

Truth #2: The Bible’s wisdom—not porn—prepares you for a fulfilling sex life

This may surprise you, since society is obsessed with a negative focus on what the Bible says not to do with regard to sex. However, sex is ultimately an exchange of actions and emotions within a relationship. God’s Word specializes in relationship success, especially where outgoing love and concern for others is concerned.

Sexual fulfillment depends far more on the individuals expressing love and concern for one another than on any physical aspect of the act itself. If you want to learn how to enjoy sex, learn how to have a happy marriage. When a husband and wife’s actions toward one another are based on godly character, physical blessings of intimacy will follow naturally.

In addition, be aware that when the time comes within marriage, there are many truly informative sexual education resources available. These can provide very direct and helpful information, without any of pornography’s undesirable side effects.

When you have questions about sex now, ask your parents—it may surprise you how much they know! They can help cut through the confusing and incorrect information so prevalent in society. Much more, they would love to help you understand how to apply God’s design in your life now, to prepare for the blessings that He intends in the future. 

Myth #3: Pornography satisfies sexual desire

In reality, pornography doesn’t satisfy anything—physically or emotionally. In fact, it only leaves you more unfulfilled, in deeper and more dangerous ways. The belief that porn can provide the same outcomes that we were designed to desire from sex itself is ridiculous.

Pornographic material is the “gateway drug” of sexuality. Consuming a little often leads to consuming more and more, even to the point of addiction. Such material does not provide a “substitute” or “alternative” as some claim. Rather, it makes the consumer more likely to engage in sex—with even more negative consequences added on.

Truth #3: Wrongly used sex never satisfies

Society likes to pretend that in humans, sex is a purely physical need. Like the need for food or for sleep, or the animal instinct to procreate—you just fill the need however you want to fill it, the reasoning goes. This simply isn’t true. Human history is filled with the negative physical and emotional consequences of this philosophy. Don’t be fooled. Sex only satisfies when it is rightly used.

The apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonians about sexual issues. His advice was very simple: “No one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter . . . ” (1 Thessalonians 4:6, emphasis added). This statement perfectly sums up the problem with pornography. It’s an enormous, tragic fraud that hurts everyone who participates.

The temptation to consume pornography is unavoidable and strong.

Don’t give in.

As young men and women whom God is calling, you can resist and rise above the temptation with His help. God created sex to bless your life with true physical and emotional fulfillment.

It’s worth the wait. Choose not to settle for an unsatisfying and harmful fraud.