Are you ever worried it’s going to be just too hard to find a mate who shares your beliefs? This question has been asked time and again as far back as the days of the Biblical patriarchs. God clearly states His ideal of marriage between a man and a woman who are united in their worship of Him. Passages such as Deuteronomy 7:1-5 are not simply messages to warn God’s people against intermarriage with particular nations. Rather, the reason to avoid such unions is revealed in verse 4, “for they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the LORD will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly.” Since it’s so important to choose a mate who shares your beliefs and manner of worship, what are we to do when the opportunities are scarce?

The story of how Isaac and Rebekah met provides some keys to help if you find yourself in this situation (the full narrative can be found in Genesis 24). As a point of interest, Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah (Genesis 25:20). As the promised heir of God’s promises to Abraham, it was important that he marry and have a child or children to whom to pass on the blessings. The Bible does not record his feelings about not having found a wife yet, but you can probably imagine how tempting it would have been to settle for one of the Canaanite women living nearby. Abraham is clear that he does not want this future for his son—but neither does he want Isaac to allow his pursuit of a bride to drive him away from the land God had promised him (Genesis 24:3). So, Abraham sent a servant to find a wife for Isaac (verse 4). I’ll stop here to mention that I don’t believe the Bible advocates arranged marriage over other methods of meeting your mate. It’s certainly one of the ways God brought together some of the key characters of the Bible, but it is not the only way, and it’s not specifically recommended over other methods. What I would like to bring out is that others can help us along the journey—and we must be prepared to help others.

Friends can pray for one another

We’re not given the servant’s name, but we can tell that his loyalty to Abraham and his son was great. He was willing to take on a long journey without a guarantee of success—he would certainly give the search his best effort, but Abraham had already let him off his promise, were the woman to refuse to come with him. In Genesis 24:12-14, the servant prayed for success, asking for specific guidance in selecting the right mate for Isaac. He asked God for very specific qualities in Isaac’s future wife.

Perhaps you can relate to either Isaac, the servant—or both! Do you remember your friends’ needs in your requests and pray for them specifically? I’ve often had conversations with friends who waited for years to meet the special person who would become their husband or wife. Taking some of their specific requests to God is a great way to help. It’s great to ask “please send my friend the husband she has been praying for” but better still to ask for more specific things that your friend needs, such as “please send her a man who shares her love of animals” or “lead her to meet a man who will be compassionate towards her health struggles.” You could even trade requests with a friend—ask him to pray something specifically for you while you take his request to God in prayer. I have found it very encouraging to see, over the past few years, that many of the people for whom I prayed that God would send them a mate are happily married.

Service brings people together

A servant himself, Abraham’s servant knew the value of developing selfless qualities, so he knew exactly how to look for a woman of character. It was common for the women to come to the well to fill jugs of water, but the servant’s specific request was for a woman who went above and beyond. She would not only respond positively to a request for a drink of water (a relatively small inconvenience) but offer of her own accord to provide water for the camels (a sizeable chore) (Genesis 24:14). We can see as we read on that Rebekah responded in this exact way (verses 17-20).

Look for those who are serving others. And for your part, join Church service opportunities that come your way. But remember that service is a trait you need to develop, not just a one-time event you attend so you can meet a cute girl or talk to the strong guy who can carry a stack of six or more chairs. Rebekah had no idea what her offer to help would accomplish. She didn’t expect to get a husband out of the deal—even the gold jewelry came as a surprise (Genesis 24:22, 30). It’s clear she had cultivated an attitude of service, or the opportunity would have simply passed her by.

Sometimes, like Abraham’s servant, you have to travel to find opportunities to serve and meet other people. But there are ways to do this on a budget! The Feast of Tabernacles is a great time to travel, and if a longer trip seems too expensive, find another Church member or two who can share travel and accommodation costs. There might not be a lot of members your age in your congregation, but maybe the only thing keeping an older widow from exploring a different Feast site is the need for someone willing to drive! Volunteering for a Church summer camp is another cost-friendly way to serve others. Serving on staff is free, and it’s likely that members would be willing to let you stay at their homes along the way if you decide to make a road trip—reach out to the local congregation’s pastor if you’re not sure who to contact.

God can accomplish anything

Rewrite the worries in your mind from thoughts of “it won’t happen to me” to “God can accomplish anything!” (Matthew 19:26). Isaac’s situation looked pretty hopeless, but He didn’t settle for marrying one of the locals—he might have achieved his goal of marriage sooner, but would not have been able to share his worship of God in the same way he could with Rebekah. Prayer and service were keys that brought them together, and these are principles that can work in your life too! Besides, the character produced by developing these habits is important in other areas of life, most importantly our preparation for the Kingdom of God! Just as others help us in our time of need, be ready to support others in their struggles. You’re not in this alone! Let’s pray and serve together with that hope always in mind.