Have you got a grumbling problem? Maybe you’re tired of hearing about someone’s continual trial or get upset by how much someone talks. Perhaps someone is kind of bossy, complains too much or expects too much of others. It could even be that you are upset with the leadership of your congregation or the Church itself. There are many reasons we can become irritated with each other, but God says we need to stop complaining or face the consequences. “Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the judge is standing at the door” (James 5:9).

We have all experienced situations unfold. A brother or sister is in need, but one will say, “I tried to help once, but my help was rejected.” They become unwilling to try to help again. Instead they grumble about it. Another will say: “I’m so tired of hearing all their complaints. They’re always sick with something or another.” As if the person can help having health issues. There are many scenarios that can play out and it is sometimes easy to grow impatient.

In 2 Thessalonians 3:13 it states, “But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.” This scripture applies to many things, but especially in how we treat the brethren. As humans, we do tire of things easily, but God has called us to more, and He repeatedly tells us to show our light by how we treat one another (John 13:34-35).

We are to continually look out for one another, to encourage and uplift, not only in prayer, but even more so in showing loving kindness to one another. Many of us, for the most part, only see one another once a week on the Sabbath. When we begin to grumble, we are carrying negative thoughts which are often passed along to others. Have you ever had someone tell you something about another person and wished you had never heard it? That usually happens because we don’t like how it skews our thinking about the person being spoken of. We may feel disappointed in them or we become disappointed in the person grumbling. If we never hear the negative, it is not in our brain to recall and therefore does not influence how we feel about others.

There are obviously situations that need to be addressed when someone is acting ungodly, but that is a different situation than grumbling about someone. Gaius was once commended in a letter where it is stated, “Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the brethren and for strangers.” Generosity to each other should be part of who we are—generosity not only in what we do for others, but in our very words.

We all struggle with our thoughts and feelings about others, and we can learn from it. If we don’t like what we see in someone, we change that part of ourselves or make sure we do not act in a similar way. Unfortunately, we often express our feelings. Even the subtlest of words can influence or demean. James had this to say about the matter: “But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so” (James 3:8-10).

We are all in different stages of our calling, and some need more time than others in making changes. Instead of grumbling, we can choose to keep it to ourselves or speak to the individual about the issue one-on-one. I am working at keeping my thoughts about others to myself and not being a grumbler. Won’t you join me?