On Aug. 21, 2000, the world changed forever. Maybe not for everybody, but for our family an amazing new addition came into the world, and nothing has been the same since.

Maximilian began his life surrounded by a family who loves and cherishes him. As we have watched him mature from a baby into a little boy, we often ask ourselves what we can do to help him on his way from boyhood to becoming a potential member in God's Kingdom, and how to help him understand and relate to the love of God.

There are many responsibilities we feel toward our grandchildren. We always want to unconditionally love them and let them know we will be there for them. We want to teach them about God whenever the opportunity arises. We also want to give them understanding about family history and their unique heritage. But there is another important aspect about this unique relationship that isn't often discussed.

Snapshot of Family of God

A wise man once said that the best gift a man can give his children is to love their mother. Throughout the lives of our children, my husband and I have striven to insure that they have witnessed our love for each other as well as our love for them.

With Max, we have an added dimension—a new family layer—and we have come to realize that Max's relationship with God could be influenced by not only the relationship he has with his parents, but our relationship with them as well. Max has the opportunity to learn what kind of support can and should be passed from generation to generation and where he fits in the family picture.

In other words, we have a unique opportunity to pass on to Max a snapshot of the family of God in a practical way that he can witness as he matures.

The world today isn't as simple as it used to be. Families are fractured, stressed, stretched and under attack. We should unconditionally love both parents, and new stepparents when this is the case, as much as we can without compromising God's laws. To support the parents is to acknowledge that they are responsible for their children, and that the rules they set for their own family are the rules we will abide by, as long as they are according to God's laws.

So, how do we show our precious grandchildren the love and support we have for their parents?

Supporting, Not Spoiling

Sometimes, we grandparents take a little joy in "spoiling" our grandchildren. I think young parents expect us as grandparents to be a little more relaxed with their children than we may have been with them—it comes with the territory.

However, as grandparents, we need to be mindful of what kind of an example we are showing our grandchildren if we knowingly and continually violate the rules of the home. Can we not expect them to see this as an acceptable way of life and be inadvertently granting permission for them to do the same? Our motives may be great, but the results could be disastrous.

Backing up the parents is not only our responsibility, but it should be expected. By supporting their parents, we are acknowledging to our grandchildren that there is a type of government in force that we recognize and support, just as we expected our children to do for us in our household.

Supporting Steps

A few concrete steps we can take to demonstrate to our grandchildren that we support their parents are:

1. Follow family protocols. When our grandchildren are in our care, we should know what their parents expect of them regarding diet, dress, bedtime, television viewing, etc. and provide continuity for those family procedures when we are caring for the children.

2. Back up the parents. Even if we think the family rules are a little too strict or too lax, we need to positively promote the goals of the family. Sometimes grandparents may be a sounding board for the children to express their feelings. Being a good listener is a vital key, but we must always remember that the goal is to back up the parents whenever possible.

3. Be the right example. If our grandchildren are not allowed to watch three hours of television, for example, we should refrain from doing the same when they are in our care.

4. Be very cautions about intervening in a family situation, especially in front of the grandchildren. There may be a time to calmly and rationally discuss a situation with one or both parents, but this is usually better accomplished in a private setting away from the ears of the children.

5. Talk about why you have respect for the parents. Let the children know that you support their parents in the same way that Christ supported His Father during His physical life on earth.

Obviously, we should never condone or support physical or emotional abuse or any violation of God's laws. Sometimes it becomes the role of grandparents to intervene in such an instance if the grandchildren are at risk. But, generally speaking, our role as grandparents is to be a loving and supporting presence to aid in the development of the next generation of our family.

We love our grandchildren, and we love our children. Recognizing the weaknesses of human love, we can still help our grandchildren begin to comprehend the love God has for His family by being supportive grandparents who provide continuity of that love through the care and devotion we demonstrate for their parents. UN