Who me? Yes, you.

This is the time of year we are to make changes in our life; to try to right wrongs and forgive one another. Our response is very important to God.

You might be thinking, "I'm a friendly person. I always shake hands with everyone in church." But do you always; with everyone?

Have you ever walked into church and avoided anyone? Think about this scenario. Someone like Suzie Gab or Lou Longwinded initiates a conversation. You secretly wish they hadn't. You quickly excuse yourself from the conversation.

Another example to consider occurs when you see someone with whom you've had misunderstandings or who has hurt you by their thoughtless words. Perhaps there is some long-standing memory of an embarrassing incident that has affected your comfort level with this particular person. Now is always an excellent time to face these negative feelings or anything that might separate us from God.

So, you have that base covered, but what about the other side of the equation? You sense that someone never comes around you and seems to distance him/herself from you. The distance is real and may even detract from your joy at church services. What can we do?

Here are some simple ways in which we can extend the right hand of fellowship and restore a brother or sister.

One approach would be to seek the person out. Make it your mission to find the person first and offer a smile and warmth that sets the stage for a positive encounter. This is a proactive move and may take a bit of courage.

We can administer the healing art of prayer. How can you hold ill feelings toward anyone with whom you've invested so much prayer-time over?

Take a personal interest in the offended or offensive brother. Be genuinely interested in finding common ground. Invite them for coffee after church or get a bite to eat with them. Barriers relax naturally in a less formal situation.

Be willing to forgive. Maybe the person doesn't even know that you are still offended for the way he handled you in choir 20 years ago? Maybe she doesn't know you're still hurt when you felt demeaned by her supervision of a simple job you thought you knew how to perform. Whatever it is, let it go and extend the gift of forgiveness.

Can we go one step farther and apply this exercise to our neighbors? Yes, we can. It may even bear tangible "fruits." Let me share one example. We have a neighbor with the reputation of being a red-necked gruff. He is known as loud, coarse, and rough around the edges. He yells a lot. We know, because everyone hears him. His garage is set up like an auto workshop and open for business. He's always got extra cars in the driveway, usually in for repairs. You probably know the type. But my husband, Jim, has always been friendly to him, inspite of neighborhood prejudices and gossip. Because of Jim's friendliness he has softened toward us. He has learned that we go to church on Saturday. He has also taught his children that there are people, like us, with different days of worship but whose differences are allowable. His children now know about our day of worship and a seed has been planted.

In my kitchen next to the stove is a calendar with daily quotes. This quote is one of my favorites. It expresses eloquently the desire to restore a brother and live in unity.

"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace,

"That where there is hatred I may bring love,

"That where there is wrong I may bring the spirit of forgiveness,

"That where there is discord I may bring harmony."

So go on. Jump right in and extend the right hand of fellowship and see what God will do.