With the Council of Elders, there are always issues to resolve for the welfare of the Church and in the role of being representatives of the General Conference of Elders. There are trials to face, and it’s important to stay calm under pressure. All of us on the Council have needed to learn to pace ourselves in order to avoid burnout.

Jesus’ words come to mind: “So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34, Amplified Bible).

A key question is: How are we facing life’s challenges? As one member told me, “We know God’s wonderful truths—but what is difficult is how to apply them.”

One of the answers, as Jesus mentioned, is to stay positive and not let anxiety take over. It is a wise move, for clinical studies have shown that around 90 percent of the things we worry about don’t actually happen.

As we know, life was made by God to include a multitude of enjoyable experiences. But it was also designed as a character-building obstacle course. There are hurdles to overcome, and at times it’s no picnic. It’s important to keep the big picture in mind—God’s coming Kingdom—and that life is created to be enjoyed, to have fun, but also to apply godly character by growing in grace and knowledge. In fact the Church should be a type of a spiritual university and spiritual gym where members can grow in God’s truths and where we can develop spiritual muscle from building character.

So here are three steps to help us stay positive amid life’s difficulties.

1. You can’t change circumstances, but you can change your attitude toward them

A sailor learns to navigate headwinds by trimming and adjusting the sails to move forward in a zigzag fashion. We can also adjust our decisions according to the situations we face.

William James, a famous U.S. psychologist, once said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.”

When I read this, it was a big moment in my life. I realized my attitude was not determined by circumstances, but that I could consciously change it by thinking positively and developing a “can-do” attitude.

As Proverbs 17:22 says, “Being cheerful keeps you healthy but it’s a slow death to be gloomy all the time” (Good News Bible).

Paul and Silas gave a wonderful example of this when they were arrested, beaten and thrown in a musty dungeon in Philippi. Yet the Bible says: “At midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them” (Acts 16:25). Yes, they had learned to stay close to God and be positive no matter how dire were their situation. And in a great confirmation of their faith, God heard their good attitudes and responded: “Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed” (Acts 16:26).

Paul not only talked about this principle, but he lived it! Perhaps the most positive statement Paul mentioned about directing our thoughts in this vein is found in Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

2. Carefully choose the words we use, for they will become our daily vocabulary

We don’t usually realize the power and influence the words we use have on people.

Proverb 18:21 warns us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Yes, the words we choose will shape our destiny and will determine the quality of our relationships. For thoughts will lead to words, which mold our attitudes, and our attitudes in turn produce actions, and those actions determine results.

Using negative, defeatist words will likely lead to defeat, while winning words will lead to triumph. Just think about the words Winston Churchill used to bolster the morale of the British people during World War II. His words were always about overcoming and never giving up or giving in. In one famous speech, he got up and simply said, “Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give up. Never give up. Never give up. Never give up.”

It is also so important to learn to use tactful, diplomatic words in our conversations, which have virtually become a lost art.

This principle is all important in marriage and the family.

One of my favorite sayings is, “Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.”

Proverbs 15:23 tells us, “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”

Anthony Robbins, a famous motivational speaker, once said: “The words we attach to our experience become our experience. Words have a biochemical effect on the body. The minute you use a word like ‘devastated’ you’re going to produce a very different biochemical effect than if you say, ‘I’m a bit disappointed.’ It’s not hard to see the impact of this when other people speak to us. For example, if someone said to you, ‘I think you’re mistaken,’ versus, ‘I think you’re wrong,’ versus, ‘You’re lying,’ would you have a different biochemical response to that simple word? The same exact process happens with the words that we use within ourselves, but unfortunately, we’re less conscious of its impact.”

Remember, your vocabulary says a lot about you, so pick positive instead of negative words. When you can, be around positive people.

3. Look at adversity as a challenge and an opportunity to prune and grow

Proverbs 24:10 says, “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.”

Adversity can help us become better and stronger people.

For instance, last year, Andy Murray became the first British tennis player to win Wimbledon in 77 years.

Before he won that famous Grand Slam event, a reporter said about his fine play at the 2013 Australian Open: “Andy Murray’s fine mature performance in the Australian Open semifinal on Friday was in part Roger Federer’s fault of course. If Federer had not set the bar quite so stratospherically high for men’s tennis in the 2000s, young Andy Murray might have been tempted to coast on his gifts; might have been content to keep chomping candy bars and guzzling soda and putting in the practice hours but not—to toy with a British expression—the hardest yards. If Federer had not driven Murray to tears in a series of Grand Slam finals and left him reeling with doubt and potential unfulfilled, he might never have felt the need to transform himself into quite such a physical specimen; might never have maximized his speed and his serve or kicked his nasty, energy-sapping habit of grousing at himself, his entourage and the vagaries of a game that is ill-suited to the demands of a perfectionist. But an incomplete commitment—to one’s self, to one’s game—simply wouldn’t cut it in the era that has belonged to Federer more than any other man but has gradually, inexorably become more communal property. The result was there for him and everyone else to see on a cool Friday night as Murray advanced to the Australian Open final with a five-set victory [over Federer].”

You see, Andy Murray was building up his “immune system” to finally triumph at Wimbledon. Defeats had stimulated him to try harder until he finally won the victory over his accomplished rival.

We can also use adversity to build up our spiritual immune system and be stronger in the future.

Peter mentioned this principle in 1 Peter 1:6-7: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

We can now summarize these vital three steps to remain positive under fire:

1. Change your attitude. In other words, look at glass half full instead of it being half empty. Staying positive will likely lead to better results.

2. Change your vocabulary. It will positively alter the results of your relationships in life.

3. Look at adversity as a challenge and an opportunity to prune and improve ourselves. After all, it’s true that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.

Life is lived 24 hours a day, and staying positive is one of the best things we can do to live it abundantly, as Jesus said He came to give His followers (John 10:10).