The rise of offensive behavior in our nation should not surprise us who know that “in the last days perilous times will come” (2 Timothy 3:1). The increasing hostility of our generation is because men are “lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy” (verse 2). With bad behavior on the rise, sometimes we will find ourselves on the receiving end of it.

When we are wronged, the urge to retaliate is tempting. None of us is immune from insults, especially as the moral underpinnings of our world crumble further. Sometimes, we might be slighted without evil intent, as recently when a merchant overcharged me. I did not realize the mistake until my credit card statement came a month later. However, without a receipt, which I did not have, the store owner would not refund the overcharge. I think I accepted the loss well, but there have been other times upon receiving lousy service that I have not been patient. I must put a guard over my thoughts when reacting to someone who has wronged me, even if it was unintentional.

How should we respond when we are wronged, even if it was not deliberate? Our reaction will reveal much about our character. We must compare our response to Christ’s. “When He was reviled, [He] did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously” (1 Peter 2:23). He even asked His Father to forgive His killers because “they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Jesus taught us to always seek to diffuse a conflict rather than allow it to escalate. He advocated stopping the cycle of insults by being willing to suffer wrong. This is what He meant when He said, “Whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also” (Matthew 5:39). This is the same principle that Paul taught when he told the Corinthians to “accept wrong” and “let yourselves be cheated” (1 Corinthians 6:7).

These principles apply to our relationships and interactions with others. The rule of law is our protection against physically abusive and harmful behavior. For “the authorities that exist are appointed by God,” and “he is God's minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil” (Romans 13:1-4). Enforcing “an eye for an eye” is the magistrate’s job; forgiving our enemies is ours.

Under the law, you might be within legal rights to retaliate similarly to someone who insults or harms you. However, God’s Word says, “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil’; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you” (Proverbs 20:22, English Standard Version). Not following our natural inclination to retaliate when we are wronged is the way that leads to reconciliation. Forgiving a wrong, going beyond the legal right to extract retribution, can help turn the heart of an offender to you. Therefore, “Repay no one evil for evil” but “as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:17-18).

If you have been slighted, it might be hard not to get caught up in a cycle of trading insults. But God’s Word says that such “contentions” and “outbursts of wrath” are “works of the flesh” (Galatians 5:19-20). Remember, “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted” (Proverbs 12:16, New Living Translation). If you need help to keep from acting foolishly, ask God to “Set a guard…over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3-4). Let us, therefore, not return “evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this” (1 Peter 3:9). In this way, you will show yourselves to be “blameless and harmless…without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15).