[Gary Antion] Good afternoon, everyone. What a wonderful chorale number that was. I had a chance to hear them practicing ahead of time, so I was prepared for it. And it was beautiful. And I certainly appreciate Kayleen and her leading and Mrs. Clemenson playing the piano. They often get overlooked, the pianists. And even our cameraman often gets overlooked. You know, he's not easy to overlook. Takes up a lot of room. But nonetheless, he gets overlooked. And I appreciate that. I appreciate the man who set this up for me.

And my leg is great. It's just my knees. I have arthritis in the knees. And I have Tylenol. It gives me a little bit of a booster in the day so it doesn't hurt so much. But they're not stable because of the meniscus tears that I had in my knees, both knees repaired leaves you unstable. So that's where I am with that walking. That's why I have a cane to make sure I keep my balance. My wife's worried, "You're going to be okay going up those steps?" Yes, I'm okay going up those steps. I can assure you. I walk around the house a lot without holding on to anything. But I still want to be careful.

Falling could be bad. I have a son-in-law and daughter in Texas and two granddaughters down there visiting my son-in-law's mother, Nina Harridge. And she's in the hospital. She fell and broke her femur. It's her left side. So I told her we need to have a three-legged race. We can tie my right femur to her left femur. Now we both have our outside legs to go. We could do a three-legged race. We could probably win it. But she's recovering now in the hospital in Texas where her other son, Scott Harridge, and his wife and their daughter, Molly, all live down in that area, plus their grandchildren. So she has some grandchildren down there. And of course, my son-in-law and daughter came from Nebraska to go down there after they were here for graduation. And they drove down there to be in Texas so they could try to spend a little time with her as she recovers in the hospital. So I send our greetings to them too.

It's wonderful to be with you. And it's a privilege to be able to serve you today. The sermon title is, "If I Had to Do It Again." "If I Had to Do It Again." When I gave this in the Northeastern Regional Conference in the beginning of April, I was asked if I would do it again. And what I did, I listed 12 different areas. Very quickly I'm going to try to get you out of here. I won't take too much longer than 4:00. But I'll try to get you out of here in good time. I've got all my scriptures all printed out so I don't have to flip through the Bible. You may have a hard time keeping up with me. But I'll be all right. You listen carefully.

And I've got 12 different areas that I wish I had known when I began my ministry over 60 years ago. I want to recap just a little bit. And I'm not totally comfortable just giving this because I gave it for the ministry. But I'm not totally comfortable just giving about myself. But I want to share with you from those 60 years, so it's important for me to talk about my beginning.

You see, I was 20 years old my junior year at Ambassador College when I was asked to meet at Garner Ted Armstrong's office. Garner Ted Armstrong was a speaker of "The World Tomorrow" program and evangelist. He made programs. He taught Bible at Ambassador College. And when I went up there he said, "By the way, we're thinking of sending you out into the field between your junior and senior year so that you don't graduate too soon."

So instead of going to my senior year of college, they sent me out for a year to sit and ride shotgun with Hal Baird Jr. Mr. Hal Baird Jr. was an older man who was a divorcee. His wife had left him because of the Church. And so he was a minister. He couldn't visit women on his own because when he'd go out to visit them it would look bad, scandalous. So they needed somebody, a warm body who could drive, I had my driver's license, a warm body who could drive and who could be with him. So that's my job. But I was with him 24 hours a day for 9 months of the year. I didn't sleep with him. We did sleep at the same time. We had separate bedrooms. I shared the apartment with him. He paid more than I did because he was making more than I did. And we ate breakfast, and that was the last meal we usually ate at home. And we were out at the mercy of brethren as we traveled all over Illinois, Missouri, and Indiana visiting people from all over those areas. We went as far as Evansville, Indiana from St. Louis, Missouri.

And we visited Don at Poplar Bluff. Some of those are church areas now of their own. But we traveled wherever anybody needed us. We went up to Chicago. We went up there at times just to meet with the representative from Chicago who was our regional man. So we'd go up there. But Bloomington, Illinois, was 175 miles away from St. Louis and that was the Church that was linked up. It's still a church. Now it's called Central Illinois. And so those two churches, I gave two sermonettes almost every week. Sometimes they were the same. I gave one and one and the other. Sometimes I created a new one. So I'd have a new one in one place and then the old one in another, back and forth.

But I rode with him every day. I ate every meal that we ate out with him when we were traveling and whatever lunch people offered us. He was poor. Bachelors. And so that was our life. That was my life. But I learned. I sat. I observed. I heard. And I've learned from every minister I have worked with that I had a chance as a 20-year-old. I turned 21 that year when I was there in February. But I was out in August. So I learned. I watched. I observed. And I saw a man who cared for people. I saw a man who would get tears in his eyes when someone had a problem or a difficulty. And I saw a man who had compassion for people. And I must have gone over the subject of baptism with him numerous times. I heard it rather. I heard all the scriptures. I could do it by rote after I was done that year.

We had a lot of people asking for baptism and marriage counseling and pre-marriage counseling to some extent. But I could say I had a good start. I had a man who cared about me. And when I left after nine months, it was like a father and a son, like Timothy and Paul. I don't purport to be like Timothy, but that's like Paul and Timothy as a duo when I left him. And it was really nice. And he arranged. I was going over to England in the SS United States, a transfer student. He had a cake made the last service I was there, a cake made the shape of the SS United States luxury liner. We were going over to England, 10 other students and myself, and 10 faculty members all being sent over on the SS United States. Fabulous tour. Okay. I won't go on with that anymore.

Next man I worked with was Raymond Cole. So when I got to England, they said, "You've been visiting all this time? Yes, we need people to go out and visit here. We don't have any experienced people visiting." Well, they sent me over one part of London. I had Northwest London, which extended all the way over to Wales and up into Oxford. And I'd go out visiting. Every day after I had my classes, I would take one of the students with me. We go out visiting, sitting with brethren, finding out how they're doing, taking care of them. I did that for a year, gave sermonettes and sermons.

Was assigned to go to New York City after my wife Barbara went over on the same SS United States. We were both chosen as replacements. How strange that could be. We weren't originally planned to go, but this guy couldn't go and this woman couldn't go, so they picked me and picked her. We didn't like each other at that time, not much, but when I saw her on the SS United States and I saw her afterwards, she was fun to be with. She was personable. She was kind. She was caring. And she was serving. And so I started dating her. And at the Feast, I dated her too much, so I was called in. "We heard that you were..." Grapevine got a little round that time. "We heard that you dated Barbara Oaks three times during the Feast of Tabernacle." Yes, because I had some second tithes. Who do you want to spend your second tithe on? People that you like. Not that you can't spend it on people you don't like, but it's better to spend it on people you like. And I was carnal enough to do it on people I liked. And she was the one that I liked. So I took her dancing and I took her playing.

They found out about it. So they called me in. Three evangelists, like evangelists looking at me. One was an evangelist, the other were two ministers. "I understand you dated Barbara Oaks at the Feast." Yes, I did. Is there something wrong with that? I'm a senior student, she's a junior student. "Well, you should wait till the second semester. Shouldn't have done that. Okay, so you shouldn't date her." So I said, "Well, how often can I date her?" They have shocked it. "Okay, every three weeks." All right, every three weeks.

So every three weeks, once every three weeks, I had a long Sabbath date. We not only went to church together on the bus, they bussed us in from Bricketwood, England to London, bussed us in on the bus and we had a chance to sit with each other during church. After church, we visited with brethren and then we went out to eat. And then we went dancing, or we went to a movie. Most of the time we went out eating and dancing. And then we caught the train home together. It was one long date every three weeks until we were able to be engaged in February. So that was my experience. It was a wonderful experience.

Raymond Cole was the next person that I worked with, a major person. I worked with him for about a year. When I came to him, I was already trained a lot, but they put me back to kind of trainee status. So I sat there doing paperwork, shuffling, helping him get us settled. He was just new regional pastor over all the East Coast. So I drove with him again from time to time. We'd do Bible studies with him up in New England. We started the church up there, the Bible study up there. Harrisburg, PA. I found those services located. We went down to Washington, D.C. Did a Bible study in Washington, D.C. No churches in those areas.

Raymond Cole was a builder. But he didn't pay much attention to me. So I finally said, you know, "Some of my friends are being used in the work. Why am I not?" And he says, "It's my fault. I should have been taking you out." So he took me out about three or four times. The next thing I know in April I'm ordained by Mr. Herbert W. Armstrong, coming back from England. His wife did not like to fly. So when they went to England, they take a train to New York, catch the ship wherever it was, Queen Elizabeth or one of the ships, go over on the ship, has me stay in England, come back on the ship, spend a day or two in New York. So he spent a day or two in New York.

On that trip in April 24th or 25th, 1964, I was ordained as a minister. I was 23 years old. And then soon after that, I was associate pastor and sent up to Buffalo, New York. Buffalo, New York, and Toronto, Canada. That was my first two pastorates. And it was a blessing because I learned something from every man I worked with. Mr. Cole was super organized. I learned to be organized, but not super organized.

Then I worked with Mr. Maccaro out of Detroit. He was a regional guy there because I was transferred to the Detroit region. And I learned from him to be practically organized, to be down to earth with my organization. I like that. And then I worked with Dean Wilson in Canada. He was a supervisor over all the Canadian work when I was transferred to the Canadian work. So I can say truly, many people had an opportunity to influence me. And I tried to learn from everyone I met. I tried to take the good and fit it into my life, how I could use it better.

So I'm going to share with you 12 different issues, topics that I felt I wish I knew better when I was beginning my ministry. Number one, I wish I had taken more time to smell the roses. And these aren't in any order of importance. This probably would be down at the bottom. But I wish I had taken more time to smell the roses. What do I mean by that? Let me give you a scripture on this.

Mark 6:30-32 Here's what Jesus Christ said. "Then the apostles gathered together to Jesus," here's the comment, "and told him all things, both what they had done and what they had taught. And He said to them," here's red letter, "'come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest awhile. Come and take a rest. For there are many coming and going and they did not even have time to eat.'"

I could tell you in the early years we were required to get at least 15 visits a week. And it didn't matter how widespread your area was, how far you had to travel from one person to another. We had 15 in-home visits and that was bare minimum. Other guys were getting 22 and 23 because if you lived in a big city, people didn't live that far away who were in the Church. But when you lived in an outlying area like Buffalo or Toronto, a lot of the people were scattered all over and you had to drive hours to get to people. Then you'd visit with them, then too late to go visit somebody else afterwards.

So we tried to get it and we were running from pillar to post and there were many a day, Friday evening, many a week. Friday evening, after we had dinner in our little apartment, I would lie on the floor in our almost bare living room and sleep for about an hour. And that was the most pleasant sleep because I didn't have anything to get up and do right then, although I had to remember to get up and make sure my sermon was ready. We usually prepared a sermon Friday evening. We may have thought about it during the week, but Friday evening to be ready, or maybe even two sermons, depending on the day. One for Buffalo, one for Toronto.

And then we began the rat race, Bible studies, spokesman clubs, outlying Bible studies, and you never had a day off. You didn't have a day off. If you wanted a day off, you had to be sick or it had to be blistering snowstorm, which, thankfully, in Buffalo, they have a lot of. That's the only time. We couldn't get this visit because we couldn't make it to you. The snow was so deep. So those were the days we did a lot of that, and we didn't have time to be refreshed. We were on call 24 hours a day, and still am, 24/7. I tell all the men in my region, "Please don't call me until after 10:00 in the morning as a usual thing. But if you need me, you call me anytime, day or night, and I will answer, sometimes a little foggy if you call me in the middle of the night, but I will answer you and I will quickly shake the fog out of my head and be able to address you." That stands today.

I'm no longer a pastor, so for a lot of pastors this might give them some things to think about, and I'm not trying to correct them or tell them, but they have to be like me. But I wish I had taken more time.

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 Says, "There's a time to laugh and a time to dance." And again in verse 12 of Ecclesiastes, it talks about, "There's nothing better than to rejoice, to do good in their lives, and that every man should eat and drink," verse 13 of Ecclesiastes 3. "And every man," in this particular section, Chapter 3 verse 4, and verses 12 and 13, "should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all of his labor. It is a gift of God." Jesus told His disciples, "Take a rest."

That refreshment, believe it or not, I still try to do. I need a bit of refreshment somewhat every day just to unwind and then go to bed and get up for the next day. Point number one is I would have taken more time to smell the roses, to look around, to do things, to see what was in my area. A lot of times we didn't have time. The only time we'd go see Niagara Falls when I lived in Buffalo, New York, was when people visited the area. We didn't just go there on our own, but I was being a guide for somebody.

Point number two, I wish I had emphasized grace and law, and not only law. In the early years, Mr. Armstrong was combating some of these preachers who were no law preachers. They were very vehement about it. The law is done away. You don't have to keep the law. Don't do the law. You don't have to do the law. You can't sin because Christ did the law for you. He fulfilled it for you. You don't have to keep it now. But they were very prevalent. So Mr. Armstrong emphasized law-keeping, but he also believed in grace, grace of God. I wish I had preached more about both, but I tended to go in that same niche of preaching against... You've got to do the law. And sometimes I emphasized it so much it was almost like you should do it. You know what? I can't be saved by my own righteousness. The only way I can yield and follow God is by Jesus Christ in me and by the Spirit of God to guide me and lead me. I can't do it myself, and neither can you. And so I wish I had emphasized both.

Ephesians 2:7-8 We read what Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus, breaking into a thought, "That in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God."

How many of you know the difference between grace and mercy? Oftentimes we put them similar, they're not. They're not. What does it mean to have mercy? God don't give me what I deserve. Wages of sin is what? Death. If God doesn't show you mercy, you die. What is grace? Giving you what you don't deserve. You don't deserve the grace. I don't deserve Jesus Christ dying for me, do you? I don't deserve God giving me the most precious gift anybody could ever receive, His Holy Spirit, do you? Can I earn God's Spirit? Can I earn forgiveness? I can't. Oh, there are conditions I have to go through. Yes, believe, repent, and be baptized.

But can I say, "God, I was baptized, now you've got to forgive me?" God doesn't have to forgive me because I'm dipped in water. If I go swimming and go under the water, I didn't get baptized. I was baptized, word, dipped, but were my sins forgiven then? No. It's the grace of God. I wish I had preached more about that because of incredible graces of God. Peter wrote this.

1 Peter 5:12 He said, "By Silas, our faithful brother as I consider him, I have written to you." 1 Peter 5:12. "Briefly exhorting and testifying that this is the true grace of God in which you stand."

Now we stayed away from grace. Why? Because the world preachers were saying grace all the time. And they were turning the grace of God into license. That didn't mean I shouldn't explain it. I should explain it, but I should also show what grace is. I should also explain what grace does in our lives. The incredible riches of grace. I wish I had spoken more about that and law. Not discontinued teaching about the law. The law of God is important. It keeps us on the right path. It helps us. Well, it gives us the right path. You know what keeps you on the right path? God's Spirit and your character with God's Spirit.

The law doesn't keep me on the right path. The law tells me what the right path is. What does the law do? It tells you what righteousness is and what righteousness is not. What unrighteousness is and what righteousness is. It defines it. I wish I had preached more about that. Again, I wish I was more gracious. Because if you have grace in your life, it'll lead you to be more gracious to others. God is gracious and we need to be gracious too.

Number three, I would have studied more deeply. As I said, Friday evening came, I didn't have a whole lot of time to delve into things. I wish I had had more time to study more deeply. No, not to give you all kinds of Greek, but to make sure that when I used a word that I knew what that word meant in scripture and it wasn't just a mistranslation. Or that I read the context.

I'll give you an example. One person gave a sermon. He talked about you should never pray for yourself. Never pray for yourself. Prayer should always be about us. Then he reads through the Lord's Prayer. What does the Lord's Prayer say? "Give us this day our daily bread." He shot himself in the foot because he hadn't read that. Yet he stood up and said, "Don't ever pray for..." Of course, you do. David prayed for himself a lot. "How long eternal will you turn away from me? How long eternal?" Of course, you pray for yourself, but you don't pray all for yourself. This is not all about yourself. And you do pray for others. And you do include others. And Christianity is about us and others. Maybe you say others and us?

God never tells you love others and hate yourself. He says, "Love others as you love yourself." If you don't love yourself, believe me, you can't help people to love themselves. You can't because you don't know what it is, because you don't have love yourself. Feel it. Know what it's about. That's point number two. I would have studied more deeply.

2 Timothy 2:15 "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker," see, it takes work to study the scriptures, "who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

I need to make sure that what I deliver is truth, what I give brethren is truth because the Word of God is sharp. And I need to make sure that Word is sharp. I need to make sure that my Bible is sharp. The words. That I know what it means. That's my only offensive weapon is the Word of God. I wish I had studied more deeply. Being retired, somewhat I can study a little more deeply. Now what does that word mean? Let me look that up. Let me make sure. I found some things that I was wrong about before and corrected them. So again, number three, I would have studied more deeply.

Number four, I would have learned more about counseling. I would have learned more about counseling. A lot of the basic issues of counseling, I did not know. I knew how to treat people to a point because we had a business, a motel restaurant, and service station business. So I was taught how to treat people. But that was only from a selfish standpoint. If I treat them nicely, they'll come back, and that we'll get more business. That was not treating them nicely for their sake. It was treating them nicely for my sake. So again, I would have learned more about counseling. I would have learned more to listen and to listen with my eyes, my ears, and my heart.

Sometimes you can hear people say words they aren't coming from their heart. Sometimes you don't discern what's coming from their heart. So you want to listen. I don't do much counseling on the phone because I can't see that person's heart. I appreciated the chorale up here because my wife just pointed out several of you were singing with heart. You can tell heart people. That's wonderful. God never says, "Feelings are no good. Just only go according to the facts." No, it's feelings and facts. Not one or the other. It's both. You feel something. I'm not talking about some charismatic feeling. I'm talking about feeling. You understand what the situation is. You have a good sense of it. You're in touch with it. Isaiah 9:6. I would've learned more about counseling. I would've learned to listen more. I would've learned to acknowledge someone else's point of view when I could. I would've learned to listen to it before I shot it down.

Isaiah 9:6 "For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor."

A lot of translations don't just say Wonderful, Counselor. They say, "His name will be Wonderful Counselor." And if my God is a wonderful counselor, then I want to emulate Him. I want to be a wonderful counselor. I want to help people the best I can. " Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6. I would have learned more about counseling. And I could get them. You can get them online. You can take courses online to help you. You can even go to someplace. If you're not sure about this, don't know as much about this issue and you need to know as a person, you can go online and find resources. I sent out a whole list of resources where people in my region can go and learn more. But it's important. I wish I had known more.

Number five, I wish I had spoken more about Jesus Christ and God the Father. In the early years, you didn't dare say, "Jesus did this." What, are you turning Protestant? You used His name? Yes, I used His name instead of what His calling was. Christ is not His name. Jesus was His name. Christ was His Messiah, was what he was, not His name. We would always say, "Christ said this." We wouldn't say, "Jesus said this." Oh, that was wrong. You can find many scriptures that tell you, "Jesus said this." So I would have talked more about Him, not just the phonetic sound of His name. Do you know how many wonderful things Jesus Christ has done? And what's in the scriptures?

Ephesians 3:8 "To me," Paul writes, "who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ."

Have I preached enough about what Jesus Christ did? How awesome He was? How terrific it was to walk on water? To create bread and fish for 4,000 or 5,000 people? Have I spent time explaining what a great God Jesus Christ was when He walked this earth as Emmanuel? God in the flesh? I didn't spend as much time. Well, if everybody hears about Jesus, yes, and they hear about a false Jesus, they hear about a Jesus that's said to be born on Christmas day, put into the grave on Friday, and resurrected Sunday morning, the Bible doesn't say that. And Paul even warned you, "If somebody comes to you and preaches another Jesus, don't you listen." I would have preached more about Jesus Christ than God the Father. I wish I had done so.

John 14:7 He says, "If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. And from now on, you know Him and have seen Him."

Some of the disciples went down and they preached Christ. Philip went down to the city of Samaria and preached Christ. He told all about Him. Didn't John say, "If all the things Jesus did had been written about Him there wouldn't be enough books in the library to contain it?" I wish I had spoken more about that, but I stayed shy away from it. I don't want to be thought of as Protestant.

One time I gave a sermonette in the auditorium in Pasadena. I was not too welcome back then. But anyway, I gave a sermonette as a living out there. And I said Jesus did this and Jesus said that. When I came backstage I heard that they were mumbling among themselves, the people, some of the luminaries backstage about this Gary Antion who's using the name Jesus in his sermonettes. Yes, that was His name. I wish I had preached more about Him, not necessarily the phonetic sound. Number six, I wish I had spoken more about the kingdom of God. I wish I had enlightened God's people more about how glorious of a hope we have in front of us. A glorious hope that God has given to us. Matthew 6:33, we all know that this is our goal.

Matthew 6:33 "Seek you first the kingdom of God."

I wish I had made the kingdom of God a good sermon once in a while. Aspects of the kingdom of God. Not just wait for the Feast of Tabernacles. Preach the gospel. What's the gospel about? The kingdom of God. I wish I had preached more to my brethren about the kingdom of God. I wish I had shown them how awesome and wonderful it was through the many scriptures. How the desert's going to blossom as a rose. I wish I had said that. I wish I had taught that more. I did it at the Feast, yes, but you have to wait for... Once a year you'll hear about the kingdom of God in plentiful fashion. I wish I had spoken more about the kingdom of God. The hope that we all have.

Titus 1:2 "In hope of eternal life which God has promised before the world began."

He promised to us before the world began. I wish I had spoken more about what would be like to live forever. You're flying in an airplane. What would it be like if you don't have to have an airplane? You're just soaring in the air when you're a spirit being. And a lot of people say, "You're not going to go to heaven when you're..." That's true, you don't have to. Well, what if God the Father says, "Hey, Gary Antion, my new child, come up and see me?" "I'm sorry, God, I can't go to heaven. I told people I can't go to heaven." Where's God's throne until He puts it on this earth? In heaven. Of course, you could go to heaven as a spirit being if you want. That's not your goal to roll around heaven all day or to play the harp.

And by the way, the North Church has a harpoonist, I mean, a harpist. I always get confused. A flutist is not a flutist, she's a flautist. So why is a harpist not a harpoonist? Whatever you want to call her. So I never know what to call a harp. But we do have a lady up there who's very good at the harp, and she accompanies the music and special music sometimes. Really nice, what an art. But we all have harps, we're all going to be harping at each other. No, we're not. Okay, enough of that. Okay. But I wish I had spoke about the kingdom of God more. What a glorious time that is, and what a hope we have, not just for us, but for all people.

Number seven, I wish I had given more people recognition and appreciation in my early years. It's so easy for any of us and parents also, it's so easy for us to say when you do good, that's expected of you. When you do bad, then I tell you about it. That is so negative. So negative. We ought to be able to compliment others. We ought to be...and it's sincere. And if you ever hear me say a nice thing about you, I mean it. Because if I don't mean it, I won't say anything. So that leaves you to question. If you sing a song up here and I don't say, "Oh, you did a really nice song," you might think I just forgot. You won't know that I didn't like it. Yeah, you will if I have an opportunity to speak to you about it, but that's okay. Be genuine. But I wish I had called out more. Why do I say that? Why do I say that? The Apostle Paul in Philippians 1:3-4.

Philippians 1:3-4 He said, "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you." He remembered them. "Always in every prayer of mine, making requests for all of you with joy."

"I think about all of you all the time," he said. Can you call out people and thank them? Of course, you can't. Did I do it enough? I don't think so. I wish I had. What's the example of the Apostle Paul? Romans 16. By the way, I referred to the Apostle Paul a lot. You know what Paul was? He only heard the last word from Jesus. Who else heard the last words of Jesus Christ? Paul taught Him three years or three and a half years in Arabia after his conversion. He said he didn't go to other people. He was taught directly from Jesus Christ. So what Paul is writing to us in many ways is the latest understanding of things.

Romans 16:1-5 "I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant in the church in Cenchrea, receive her. She's been a helper. Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers, who risked their own life." He said, "To whom not only I give thanks, but all the churches of the Gentiles. Likewise, greet the church that is in their house. Greet my beloved Epaenetus."

If I spent time doing that, you'd think I'm crazy. What am I trying to do? Butter people up? No. Give credit where credit is due. Thank people. When is being grateful out of fashion? It is not. I wish I had done more. I had some wonderful people in Toronto and Buffalo. I mean, those people could put on a social like you've never seen. And they worked hard. And they worked together. And I wasn't there to oversee every single thing they did. They would merely report to me and tell me what's going on, what's happening. And I would be invited to that next social. They did wonderfully. I wish I had called them out and said what a great job they did. And I didn't. It's too late now. "Oh, by the way, 60 years ago, you did a really good job," if they could hear me, which most of them are probably not around.

Next one, point number eight. I would have not stated my personal preferences publicly. Here's what I mean. I was merely trying to give the brethren in Toronto a way to connection with me. And I was telling them about coming across the United States when I was a freshman and a you drive car. You drive this car back. Somebody in Pennsylvania wants his car that's in California driven back there for him. So they give you the car to drive and you just take care of the gasoline and drive it all back. So we drove it. We stopped at this one place to get gasoline or whatever. And they looked at the tires. The tires were bald. Several. And here we were going to be driving through the mountains. High-speed driving across the country. Three other students and myself.

So what do we have to do? We didn't have a... We tried calling the owner and we couldn't get through to anybody. So we had to put new tires on. We had to pull all of our cash that we had in the car and pay for the tire or two. Kept some of the ones that weren't quite as bad. Well, that left us pretty much penniless. A few dollars here and there. So what do we do? We stop at a wholesale-type place that we saw and we bought a case of pineapple juice in cans and we bought some big jars of peanut butter and a bunch of crackers. And that's what we ate for three days along the way home.

Do you know when I got back home I despised peanut butter and I absolutely hated pineapple juice? So I merely said that. So they're preparing a social. It's tropical type meal. And they have somebody in the social. I wasn't even there. And they're talking about let's make a punch and we can put this and we can put that and we can this, and we can put pineapple juice. And one of them said, "You can't put pineapple juice in. Mr. Antion doesn't like pineapple juice." So that guy, "Well, who's he?" They said, "He has a bad attitude." So they reported him to me. I said, "He doesn't have a bad attitude. I'm only one person in the congregation." But see, that one person spoke up vocally, publicly. And I had a position of minister. So I said, "You're welcome to put pineapple juice in anything you want anytime you want. And if I don't like it, I just won't drink it. But let everybody else drink it. Don't do it for me."

But see, I learned a big lesson. Don't tell people, "I would never eat any potato chips." Why not? "Well, potato chips are no good for you." Yeah, I do eat potato chips from time to time. Yeah, they're not great for you but sometimes they're a nice snack and I don't mind snacking on them. But if I say, "I'll never eat potatoes. They're the worst thing you could eat," the congregation, "Okay, we better not serve potato chips that Gary Antion's on. Hey, wait a minute. That's my personal preference. I don't need to air that publicly. If somebody wants to ask me privately about something, I can tell them if I want to, but I don't have to say that publicly. And I learned that the hard way. I would have not stated.

2 Corinthians 4:5 We're on point eight, we only have four more to go, "For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus Christ's sake."

I wish I had known that at the beginning. I have kept from trying to tell my own preferences. Number nine. And by the way, music is the same way. Well, never listen to that song." I used to hate Elvis Presley. Now I love Elvis Presley. Oh, Elvis Presley is rock and roll. I love his music. I have a whole CD on it. That doesn't mean you have to love it. I have a whole CD. I love listening to it on the radio. There are so many beautiful songs on there. Some of them are a little bit rockish, rock and rollish, but some of them are beautiful songs. He had a great voice, and passionate in his voice. But I wish I had not stated that publicly.

Number nine. I wish I had followed up on people's illnesses or losses. I will tell you, when we were visiting people, we had to try to get so many in. We didn't take time to double-check on somebody. If I did a funeral, I thought, "Well, I did their service, I did the service for them. How are you doing? You okay?" I might stop in once after that. That's not enough. That's not enough. I wish I had done more as a pastor. I wish I had taken more time to visit those people and care.

And I will say Mark Welsh does a good job of trying to look after people that are sick. And when I was in the hospital, he was there several times to see how I was doing and to check in. Pastors need to care for the flock. And I was too busy to care for the flock. And I wish I wouldn't have been. I wish I wouldn't have taken that.

Acts 15:36 "Then after some days, Paul said to Barnabas, 'Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the Word of the Lord, and see how they are doing."

Not visiting them to try to drum something into them. Not visiting them to correct them. Just to visit them to see how they're doing. I wish I had done more. And when people had illnesses, I wish I had cared for them. I won't read it. Jeremiah 23:1-3 as a section here.

Jeremiah 23:1-3 He said, "You have scattered my flock," Jeremiah 23:1-3, told the shepherds supposed to care for the people. "You've scattered my flock, driven them away, and not attended to them."

You didn't pay attention to them when you should have.

Ezekiel 34:1 He says, "Should not the shepherds feed the flocks?"

Then he goes on in verse 4.

Ezekiel 34:4 "The weak you have not strengthened, nor have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back."

I'm not a throwaway guy. Somebody makes a mistake, I want to help them. I want to help. Not in my early years. Early years I was tough, 23, 24 years old. You didn't take much from anybody. You didn't let them despise your youth. And you took that too far. But as I've grown older, I've learned. I've learned more. I've tried. I wish I knew that more, to take time to help people. And nobody's throwaway unless they don't want to be helped. They don't want to be helped, I can't help anybody because somebody messes up big time. Get out of here. They'll never be back. Wait a minute. Isn't there such a thing as redemption? Can you help people?

I always say I will try to be, I will endeavor to be soft-hearted but never soft-headed. If you play me for soft-headed, you lost me. You lost me. You take advantage of me being soft-hearted and try to make me into being soft-headed, you lost me. Why? I can't trust you anymore. So again, I wish I had done more in visiting, caring for people, calling back, calling afterwards, checking in on them. How are you doing? You need anything? Can I help you? When they were sick and afflicted or hurt.

Acts 14:22 We read what Luke wrote, "Strengthening the souls of the disciples."

Strengthening the souls of the disciples. Strengthening their lives. That's what it's about. Helping their joy. That's number nine. Point number nine, I wish I had followed up more on members' illnesses or losses, and not just once.

Number 10, I wish I had been more confidential in sharing information. After all, we're all in the Church. If so-and-so did this, I should tell everybody about it, shouldn't I? We're just one big family. If this family member has a problem, why shouldn't I tell everybody? I shouldn't. But in the early years, we thought, "We're all in the Church. Why not tell them this person did this, this person did that?" Why not? You break confidentiality. And when they can't trust you, you've lost them. Trust is so important. But we're all family, right? So I'm just sharing this.

And sometimes sharing good things is not right either. Somebody received a $10,000 raise. Hey, that's good news. Let me tell everybody about this. Maybe they don't want me to tell everybody about this. You're always safe if you don't know, if you're not sure. You're always safe to ask somebody, "Hey, that's great. Do you mind if I share this with others? They'll be delighted to hear." They can say, "I'd rather not." No, that little statement, you know what you just did? You put power in their hands, not in yours. And they could say, "No, I don't prefer you tell people that." Or, "Should I tell people about this?" A lot of people get to where they're asking somebody to pray for somebody. Hey, wait a minute. Have you asked them? Maybe they don't want that to be known. Maybe they're just trying to battle this in a local way. So be careful. Be careful. I needed to be careful. More confidential.

Proverbs 17:9 We read, "He who covers the transgression seeks love, but he who repeats the matter separates friends."

Proverbs 11:13 "A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter." He doesn't go blabbing about it.

Number 11, almost there, 5 minutes after, I'll be done in a few more minutes. Number 11. And by the way, just a sidebar, when I was in New York City, whoever gave the sermonette or split sermon or whatever, they gave a long message. And then there was a chorale number. And then there were announcements by the minister who thought he needed to have some attention. So he gave a lot more words and announcements. And here now for the second sermon, split is Gary Antion, I had about 20 minutes. I finished. In my mind, I just cut them all out. Just took the basic material. And people thought it was a good sermon because I've got rid of all the fodder.

All right. Number 11, I wish I had spoken up more on issues being discussed. Ever sometimes you ask, what do you think about this? You say, "Well, I think this about this. I better not say that. I don't want to say that. Maybe people won't agree with me." Who cares? They're not asking for consensus. They're asking for you. I'll give you an example. Luke 2:45-47. A great example. Jesus Christ when He was a boy. So when they could not find Him, remember He was 12, He stayed behind, and they thought He was with His cousins playing whatever somewhere in the wagon train or whatever they were...donkey train they were going with. And they returned to Jerusalem seeking Him, His parents.

Now, so it was after three days, they still couldn't find Him, searching in Jerusalem or since the time they left, still searching, couldn't find Him. They found Him in the temple sitting in the midst of teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And verse 47, "And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and His answers." So He didn't just ask questions, He gave answers. How many of us have taught our kids, just be seen, not heard? Don't speak up, be quiet. Be good on this visit. Aren't they normally good? Are they bad most of the time and they're just going to be good this time? Why don't you just say, "Be like you normally are?" If they're normally good, if they're not, maybe you need to caution them.

But what's wrong with giving some advice if you're asked? I'll tell you, I tried in a sake for the sake of unity to start with council. I was on the first regular council of the United Church of God. And some of you bring something up and I think, "Well, I think this is an issue I'd like to share." And they ask for... "But if I say that, it might not be well accepted. I won't say anything." So I just kept quiet. Then I learned. They don't have to do what I say, but I am adding a side to the issue that they can reject quite easily but at least I'm saying it. And they can take what I said and not do anything about it. It's up to them. So again, I learned that I should share. And I'm willing to do that, and Jesus Christ did. And of course, the disciples were told, "Don't preach in the name of Jesus."

Acts 5:42 And it said, "Daily in the temple and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus Christ," Jesus as the Christ.

They were willing to let their voice be heard. So again, I'm not saying be rebellious, no way, but I am saying your opinion counts. And if somebody asks for it, you have a right to give it. They have a right to accept it or reject it. Because I ask for something, they don't have to do it. I didn't demand, right? And asking something, an opinion is not a demand. So you have a right to ask. And sometimes you need to ask questions. Say, "Yeah, you said this. I just wonder about this."

And I tell my students when I teach, "If I say anything out of line, please come and tell me. And if you don't feel I'll listen, or if I don't listen to you, take it to Dr. Dunkle. Take it above me because I don't want to say something that's wrong. I don't want to be wrong. If you think I'm wrong, please come and talk to me. Give me the benefit of trying to explain what I meant and apologize if I'm wrong. But if you don't want to do that, you still have the right to take it above me. I hope you'll do the right thing first. But if you don't want to do that, you're still welcome to take it above me because I want to be right. And if I'm wrong, I hope they correct me." Isn't that a way to be? Okay.

Number 12, I wish I had made sure I did not neglect my wife and family. It's not necessarily number 12 in importance. I'll tell you, brethren, look and they see and they watch. Ministers live in a glass house. You see right through what they're doing, what they're up to. You see their wife, you see their family, you see their interaction with their wife and family, you see the wife's interaction with them, you see their children's interaction with them, and they need to be an example for you.

I worked with a man who really was so busy doing everything else, neglected his family. And people in the Church knew it. He was a minister. They saw it. They knew it. What type of an example is that? Because husband and wife are supposed to be an example of Jesus Christ in the Church. And if they're not seeing that example, they're not getting it, right?

1 Timothy 4:12 "Let no man despise your youth," he told Timothy, Paul, "but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, and in purity."

Be an example. The ministry is to be an example. Our families are to be an example. And if you neglect your family, they're not going to be an example. You're not going to be an example. And we used to say, well, it's God, the Church, and then your family. No. It's God, your family, if you're a minister, then the Church. You look after your family. You have that as a God-given responsibility from Him. Make sure they are taken care of. Make sure they're looked after. Make sure they're loved. As I said, I would have made sure I did not neglect my wife and family.

One man told me, "My wife had epilepsy for the first 11 years of our marriage. It was not controlled. Thank God it's controlled now. We take some medication, stopped it like that, and perfectly for 35 years." I was told by one minister, "Now make sure you don't forget to take care of your..." They said, "Do not leave the Church to take care of your wife. Don't put your wife..." And I thought, "He told me that I should not look after my wife?"

Everybody I knew, by the way, who had epilepsy died. When my wife had it, when we were young, everybody I knew died. Not her. God was gracious and merciful. But I tried to care for her too. Care for your wife and family. Again, for all of us, as members of the Church, care for your wife and family. God does. As we heard by Mark, God loves your family. God loves them more than you do, but you need to love them too. You can't say, "God, you got to love them. I don't have to love them. You take care of them." No, you've got a job to take care of them too. So it talks about husbands and wives and how important it is to be an example. 1 Peter 3. I'm not going to read it.

So those 12 points, I hope they've given you some insight about the ministry, about sometimes our difficulties as we go through life. But I hope that I've made known to you what I wish I had known 60 years ago. When I began those 60 years, I would have been a better minister of Jesus Christ and served more fully the children of God, His people. Thanks for putting up with me. I tried to get you out sooner.