DON'T:

• Monopolize the conversation. Instead, take pauses in conversation; ask about the other person.
• Try to impress. Your good qualities will reveal themselves all on their own.
• Be overly critical. Share your opinion honestly, but with tenderness and discretion.
• Focus on yourself. Wait to be discovered; spend time discovering the person you're with.
• Overwhelm with attention. Start slow. Put out feelers and see if you get any nibbles. The most beautiful fish are often frightened by too much light!

DO:

• Reach out to others. Being too picky can leave one exquisitely discriminating and alone.
• Listen. Seek to understand the other person; be sure your comments relate to what you've just heard.
• Be other-minded. Use your empathy; that is, understand and feel from the person's perspective. Let your responses show this. "I bet that was scary."
• Share your vulnerabilities. Being imperfect makes you more human, more accessible, less threatening.
• Be complimentary. Don't overdo it, but when it's genuine, share your appreciation of her or him