Life is full of chance meetings. We interact with people at the grocery store, the bus stop, school, restaurants and church. Have you, like me, ever wondered how you come across to the people you meet? If so, you may be interested in First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You. Written by Ann Demarais, Ph.D., and Valerie White, Ph.D., the book's key point is that "while relationships are about mutual need fulfillment, first impressions are about meeting others' needs" (page 23, emphasis original).

According to the book, there are "four universal social gifts" that we can give in our interactions with others:

• Appreciation (showing an understanding and respect for others' positive qualities).
• Connection (finding common interests or similar experiences).
• Elevation (improving others' moods by smiling, being positive, sharing humor).
• Enlightenment (sharing interesting facts, ideas, trivia).

These gifts are benefits in all types of situations—whether social or business—and they're all important. The authors point out, "A healthy balance of the four social gifts is charismatic. On the other hand, an imbalance can be off-putting." While people may have a personal preference for one over the other, "you usually don't know this about people you meet for the first time. So balance is a good strategy" (page 29).

Showing genuine interest is an easy but powerful way to make a good impression. "When someone shows genuine interest in you, you feel appreciated and understood—a core social benefit that you seek out, and unconsciously react to, in interactions with people. You too have the power to shine this light on others. In fact, showing genuine interest is the easiest and most powerful way to make a good first impression. Just by being interested, you appear interesting" (page 59).

Since the book focuses on how to give a good conversation, some will wonder, how will my needs be fulfilled? Not to worry. "Paradoxically," the authors say, "the shortest route to getting what you want is to give to others first. The more you listen and connect, the more likely it is that others will return the attention" (page 25).

And, of course, there's the comfort that you're pursuing God's give way of life. "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12).