Last month we looked at the biblical principles involved in caring for our elderly parents. In part 2 we'll look at how the aging parents might be feeling.

Carroll Kennedy gives some positive and negative views of aging in the book Human Development: The Adult Years and Aging. Along with the positive aspects of retirement and old age, the senior citizen begins to experience losses. Memory lapses may cause concern, as they vividly recall the past but have difficulty remembering yesterday.

Other senses diminish as well. Their sense of taste becomes less acute, and food doesn't taste as good as it used to. They may be prone to want to add more seasoning, which may not be good for them. Hearing you may become more difficult, and sometimes the embarrassment of asking you to repeat yourself leaves them uncertain what was said. Their vision may be diminishing. They may ask for a sweater when you are "roasting" in summer clothes.

Changes in nervous system, muscle tone and reflex actions may cause the elderly to feel dizzy and unsteady. They may stumble and hurt themselves. The inability to identify the location of the pain may lead to irritability on their part. Your aging parents may also despair that it takes much longer to heal.

Close friends or relatives disappearing from the scene brings one's own eventual death into focus. The death of a mate brings extra pressures, and loneliness and discouragement set in. They may speak of suicide and some will try it. Some will succeed (12 percent of those who try).

"Parents' worst nightmares may not even be of death, but of a long-term illness that wipes out their financial resources, makes them totally dependent on others, condemns them to unending, excruciating pain, suspends them indefinitely between life and death" (Earl and Sharon Grollman, Caring for Your Aged Parents, 1978, page 66).

Worries about who will take care of them and will they be a burden to their children are often in their thoughts. They desire contact with their children yet feel burdensome. The family remains their one link to continuing physical life as they see their progeny growing. Some will prefer to live alone as long as their health and circumstances permit. The fear of being institutionalized in a nursing home looms in their minds.

Next time, let's turn to the children and their views of the situation.