Own it; don’t rent it, your relationship with God. During Northwest weekend, I was privileged to attend the many seminars that were offered there. One of the presenters is a friend that I have I got to know over the years serving at the Pre-teen Camp. His name is Tim Hendrickson and his title just jumped out at me and made me want to listen. It was called, “Own it; don’t rent it, your relationship with God”. I thought, now there’s a title that not only tells you were its going but makes you want to know more. After listening to the presentation I asked Tim if he minded taking this topic and using it for a sermon. With his blessing I have turned it into a sermon and used my stories and observations on the topic. The concept of owning and not renting our relationship with God hits home for a number of reasons.

What do you think about when you think about renting? You might think about your home, as many rent. While there is obvious differences to owning and renting a house, my mind went back to when I was a kid and we would rent a movie. Now this was a big deal. Kids today cannot appreciate how much work went into renting a movie. First of all, no one had a way to play a movie at home unless you were rich. In the late 1970’s I was just in my teens and unless you had about $1000 lying around (That’s about $4000 in today’s dollars) you wouldn’t have owned a VCR to play a movie. Years later you would finally be able to rent one if you had a credit card or substantial deposit. I remember in the mid-1980’s renting a movie and the VCR came in a huge suitcase and you brought it home and took a while to hook up to your TV. Only 20% of US households owned a VCR in 1985 so most people rented. In those days renting a movie was a big deal.

Now you can rent a DVD from a vending machine for $1 or if you have any number of online options getting a movie is both inexpensive and easy to find. But in those days, renting a movie only happened on a special occasion and usually when you had guests to share in the experience. Growing up you just expected that if you did not go see it in a theater then you had to wait a year to see a movie on TV with all the commercials. It wasn’t until I came home from College that I noticed my parents had bought one and I remember buying my first VCR a few years later. It was about $250 and it meant that I could rent a movie without a substantial contract. The concept of ownership was very real. Of course, many people rent or before they buy their home. Renting usually starts in an apartment. My wife and I lived in an apartment when we were first married and I remember having to carry the laundry down to the shared washroom to wash the clothes. Many want to buy a house but cost or other factors prevent them from what some call the Dream of Homeownership.

When I think of the title my mind goes to the feast where we often rent a Hotel room or a rental car. It was not something you did all the time. You certainly did not rent these things ever day as who could afford it? When you think about your relationship with God, do you think about spending time with God every day, like you would with a brand new car? Or, like a rental that you use only when you need it or in the case of renting a movie as a kid it was a really special occasion. How often do you spend time with God in your lives? Think about it this way, think back over your life and the times you fell to your knees in fervent prayer. Was it to share some new event in your life? Or, as it often is, when we needed God’s help desperately. We go through our lives without Him until we get stuck. Then what? We turn to God for help. So we can see this idea of renting when we think about how we have turned to God. Not so much every day like a car or house that we own but when we need Him most like our car broke down and we had to rent one. I remember getting lost as a kid. I was about 6 or 7 and we lived in Arizona.

My brother and I went camping with some friends that lived down the street. I remember we went to a forested area with lots of hills. We were all out at a stream that to get there we walked down this long path to get around the back side of this hill that we were playing on the day before. I decided that the shortest way back to camp was over that hill instead of going around it like the other kids. I have always been like that. I would ask myself, “is this the best way to get here or to do that?” and I would usually find a better way. Of course, this can backfire on you from time to time or else they never would have invented the phrase, “The longest distance between two points is a shortcut”. So I go on my own up this hill. It was pretty steep and by the time I got to the top through the trees I could not see where I had been but I knew that the camp was just over the hill so I went over.

When I reached the bottom of the other side I knew I was lost. I wandered for about a half hour or so. Not long enough for the others to get worried, but I was getting scared. I distinctly remember praying during my time out there. (You remember those prayers, God if you only get me out of this I will do this or that or spend the rest of my life….) At one point I sat down on a log or stump and put my head down to pray and when I stood up again I found my way back to camp very quickly. These are the memories we take with us through life. They are seared into our minds and when we look back we can see the times that we wished we had a close walk with God instead of turning to him when we are in real trouble. During the summer between my first and second year of college I had this great idea that I would take my car to college that next year. I came home to work and was actually borrowing a car so I could work and save up for the next year. I had sold my car the previous summer to a friend who never paid for it when I left.

My friend decided it needed some fixing up and he quickly got over his head. I ended up having to take the car back and I decided I could finish fixing it up before I went back to school. Now I could have consulted God about this decision. It’s not as though I never prayed. But things like this never came up. I felt bad that I needed to borrow a car when I had this one here. I hadn’t realized the extent of the problems when I sold it before going to school. I did know about a few of them but they turned out to be much worse. Well I ended up spending a lot of the money I had saved for college that summer trying to get this car ready for school and when I reached my breaking point, I remember actually being mad at God. Why? Because He could have prevented this calamity if he wanted to. You see, I ended up buying and engine and a transmission from a junkyard this car was so bad off. The engine turned out to have problems and by the time I put the transmission in, it was out of its 30-day warranty from the junkyard and it was bad as well.

I took it to a transmission shop and they wanted to change everything that was possibly bad but I needed something to take to school so I said no, just the parts that were bad. 5 days later the part they didn’t change broke and I lost it. I remember pacing outside the transmission shop very angry with God and telling him so as I looked to the sky. My problems were not God’s fault. I had obligations that I was not living up to. I could have let my friend keep the car since I obviously sold him a lemon. I could have taken the money I saved and paid off my college bill and been way better off. But, like so many people, I learned most lessons the hard way. If I had taken ownership of my relationship with God then I would have made many of those decisions differently and maybe would have maintained my friendship. The theme also lends itself to the concept of taking ownership of a problem or task. Would you expect a better job from someone who is in charge of a project or just someone you hired to help out? It reminds of the passage in John 10 talking about the difference between a good shepherd and a hired hand that is put in charge of the sheep. The hired hand is not the owner of the sheep and it not invested in them.

John 10:11-13 11 "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 A hired hand will run when he sees a wolf coming. He will leave the sheep because they aren't his and he isn't their shepherd. And so the wolf attacks them and scatters the flock. 13 The hired hand runs away because he is merely hired and has no real concern for the sheep. A few years after school I worked as a foreman for a steel company. We built schools and power plants in the LA area and although the employees that worked for me were professional and skilled I had to motivate them from time to time. When there was a schedule that needed to be kept, they didn’t care. They never agreed to get done by a certain time. I felt the ownership over the project but they did not. As long as their work was fine they didn’t care. If we are take ownership of something then we usually put much more effort and care into it. I had a friend in college who used to joke about renting a car always get the insurance because he would always ask “What do you do with a rental? – Thrash it”. He took immaculate care of his car but one that he rented, not so much. Think about people’s yards. Some people take great pride in their yards. Not only clean but they put their personality into it to make it an extension of their personality.

There is creativity and an impressive amount of effort to showcase the house that they live in. For some though, this concept of ownership is not there. They are renters in their minds, and what’s more; they do not care about how their homes appear to others. The yards fall into neglect and they usually do just enough to maintain things. They often will only clean things up when they get bad enough. Kind of like turning to God when it gets bad enough. Yes, it is true that God wants a relationship with us and he rewards those that put out effort to own their relationship with Him, but God is not going to force himself on us. He loves us but knows that relationships are two way streets. If we don’t put the effort out then our relationship will fall into neglect.

The question before us is simple, are we willing to work for a good relationship now, or do we simply want to wait till we truly need God and then seek Him? It’s like the old saying, “There are no atheists in a foxhole.” It was first credited to a sermon given during the Battle of Bataan when the US was soon to be overwhelmed and forced to surrender to the Japanese. It was also credited to War Correspondent Ernie Pile that spent many a night in Foxholes as he followed the troops. The point is clear. When the going gets really tough, people finally turn to God. Turn over to Ecclesiastes. If you read through this book it can seem rather depressing in that it talks about this physical life is too often meaningless. NKJ Ecclesiastes 12:8 "Vanity of vanities," says the Preacher, "All is vanity." NIV Ecclesiastes 12:8 "Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Everything is meaningless!"

Even though it seems bleak, we have to read for the context here so we don’t miss the point. Starting in Verse 12: we read - Ecclesiastes 12:1-2 NKJ Ecclesiastes 12:1 Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, Before the difficult days come, And the years draw near when you say, "I have no pleasure in them": 2 While the sun and the light, The moon and the stars, Are not darkened, And the clouds do not return after the rain; The New Living translation says it better though. Ecclesiastes 12:1-2 NLT Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and no longer enjoy living. 2 It will be too late then to remember him, when the light of the sun and moon and stars is dim to your old eyes, and there is no silver lining left among the clouds. You see, people, by their very nature seek happiness but we don’t know the way to peace. We spend so much time trying to find happiness only to grow old and never really find it. At some point we look back on our lives and wonder what we should have done differently.

Expositor's Bible Commentary, (Ecclesiastes) - The Frustration of Old Age (12:1-8) The rhythm of life is like the rhythm of the year. Spring and summer give place to the clouds of autumn and winter. The showers that so quickly come and go in youth are succeeded by rain and clouds and then more rain. It becomes progressively harder to throw off troubles and anxieties. What Ecclesiastes is telling us is that this life is short. When we are young there seems that there is so much we want to do, so much we feel we have to do. But the truth is, if we do not mind our relationship with God, and live by His way of life, then this life will be meaningless. We can see this plainly said in the final verses of Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 12:11-14 NLT A wise teacher's words spur students to action and emphasize important truths. The collected sayings of the wise are like guidance from a shepherd. 12 But, my child, be warned: There is no end of opinions ready to be expressed. Studying them can go on forever and become very exhausting! 13 Here is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is the duty of every person. 14 God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad. Life’s Regrets Let’s talk regrets for a moment. As we go through life we make choices that define our very existence. Some of those decisions are thoughtful while others are rash; the sum of which makes our lives. What regrets will we take from this life? I came across an article in the online British daily newspaper “The Guardian” from February 1rst of Last year speaking about the regrets of those that are about to leave this life. Here is an excerpt. Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. she writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware: 1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. "This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it." (This echoes the words we just read in Ecclesiastes 12) 2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence." 3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result." 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. "Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying." 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. "This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

These are very common regrets: Living up to our own expectations, keeping proper balance of work/home life, maintaining close relationships with others, and allowing ourselves to be truly happy in life. We start out in life wanting these things but life gets in the way. Isaiah 58 is a favorite passage of mine as it speaks against the false relationship that they had with God, but here God tells them what to do to fix it. NLT Isaiah 58:1-14 "Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast. Tell my people Israel of their sins! 2 Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to hear my laws. You would almost think this was a righteous nation that would never abandon its God. They love to make a show of coming to me and asking me to take action on their behalf. 3 'We have fasted before you!' they say. 'Why aren't you impressed? We have done much penance, and you don't even notice it!' "I will tell you why! It's because you are living for yourselves even while you are fasting. You keep right on oppressing your workers. 4 What good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling? This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me. 5 You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance, bowing your heads like a blade of grass in the wind. You dress in sackcloth and cover yourselves with ashes. Is this what you call fasting? Do you really think this will please the LORD? 6 "No, the kind of fasting I want calls you to free those who are wrongly imprisoned and to stop oppressing those who work for you. Treat them fairly and give them what they earn. 7 I want you to share your food with the hungry and to welcome poor wanderers into your homes. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. 8 "If you do these things, your salvation will come like the dawn. Yes, your healing will come quickly. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind. 9 Then when you call, the LORD will answer. 'Yes, I am here,' he will quickly reply. "Stop oppressing the helpless and stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors! 10 Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as day. 11 The LORD will guide you continually, watering your life when you are dry and keeping you healthy, too. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. 12 Your children will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as the people who rebuild their walls and cities. 13 "Keep the Sabbath day holy. Don't pursue your own interests on that day, but enjoy the Sabbath and speak of it with delight as the LORD's holy day. Honor the LORD in everything you do, and don't follow your own desires or talk idly. If you do this, 14 the LORD will be your delight. I will give you great honor and give you your full share of the inheritance I promised to Jacob, your ancestor. I, the LORD, have spoken!"

So as we look at our relationship with God I hope the point is made very plain; that we have to choose how close we want to be to God. Anything worthwhile takes effort and it is up to us to commit to it. We see the pattern that too often leads to a rental relationship with God and if we are not careful we can wind up in that cycle that takes us away from Him only to get into trouble and then seek Him for help. Many times we want to be close but we end up very far away. It’s as if life is drifting away from God and unless we constantly swim toward Him, then we drift away. It’s like a rip-tide pulling us away from where we know we need to be. Life can seem to conspire against us if we let it. We don’t have time to spend with Him because too much of this life gets in the way. There are so many things that we have to do that we often neglect the most important aspects. So what do you do if you find yourself in a rental agreement with God, That you have no ownership of your relationship and are in that familiar cycle of neglect and then dependence on God? How do you break the cycle?

Well every good relationship is based on Love. God’s love for us is clear. He created this existence so we can learn what many in the Angelic world failed to learn, he gave His son for us to save us from everlasting destruction. He has given us the way of peace and promised to help us along that path. But love should not only flow one way. Do we love God and if so, how do we show that love? If we are to move from a rental relationship with God to one of ownership we must reciprocate the love He has already shown us. I would like to leave you with 3 ways that we can improve our relationship with God.

1. Every relationship needs mutual respect. Now it goes without saying that we need to respect God. But then again, we should discuss this idea of mutual respect. Have you ever considered that God respect’s us? God is perfect and we are anything but. His way of life leads to life, where ours leads only to death. But he does not demand from us compliance. He allows us to choose because a real relationship is based on mutual love and respect. He knows we are carnal minded and struggle with this life and he gives us time to come around. Even though Ancient Israel was quick to turn its back on God, a careful accounting of history will teach that God gave them 7 years of peace for every year of bondage even though their actions earned them the opposite. He loves us enough to give us time to mature and choose life and choose peace. Do we love and respect God enough to embrace the way of peace; to guard our conduct so as not to bring shame to His name? Not all of my prayers are formal. Sometimes my prayers are quite casual. But I realize that the Great God of the entire universe deserves my respect and so I set aside time to come to Him on my knees. Taking a cue from the burning bush I remove my shoes and address him formally. If I am wearing a hat I remove it as a sign of respect. God has shown us respect and loves us in our weakness. We can improve our relationship with Him by showing Him the proper respect. 2. Every relationship needs good communication. Now this might seem redundant after discussing prayer in point one but as everyone knows, good communication is a two way street. The more time we share with God the closer we will be. Formal prayer is important, but sometimes I just talk to Him as I drive to work, or have a quiet moment during the day. It is not formal, it’s just talk. Talking to him in such a conversational way is important for a number of reasons. Not only are we spending time with our creator, we are learning to open up about every aspect of our lives. We should not have secrets from God. If we try we are only fooling ourselves. If we are to overcome this world, we need His help. He NLT Philippians 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. 3. Our relationship will grow strong if we hunger and thirst for His righteousness Matthew 5:6 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled. If we truly want a life of righteousness then we need to study His Word and live by what we read. When we read God’s word He speaks to us through them. Try this sometime. Ask God a question that you need the answer to. This is something that you need to understand. Then Ask him to speak to you through His word.

Open your Bible and start to study. Look for your topic and you will find that he answers your question. Not just simply, this is yes or no, but rather, like the parables, the answer is made plain to those whose eyes have been opened. If you are tired of renting your relationship with God then give these a try. If you are sick of feeling guilty of having to turn to God when your back has been to him, then take a proactive approach and get to know him before you are desperate. If you want to take ownership and build a lasting relationship with God, then let's show Him the respect he deserves, let’s spend the time getting to know Him and lets hunger and thirst for His righteousness.