There are three types of forgiveness which each of us can and will face throughout our lifetimes. Each one can bring about a more peaceful life experience. However, each can be difficult at times.

Forgiveness from God

We all sin. We all fall short (Romans 3:23). There is only one person who has ever lived a sinless life and that is Jesus the Christ, our Savior. It is through His sacrifice we can go before our God and ask to be forgiven. In asking for forgiveness, we must remember it requires a willingness and a need to repent of our sins.

Repentance is an action. It can be like driving in your car and coming to a stop sign. You must brake or risk flying through the intersection and causing an accident which could injure yourself or someone else. When we ask God to forgive us, we must be willing to use that brake. We stop the sin we are seeking forgiveness for.

What happens when a sin is a habit, and we find ourselves committing it once again after repenting? God is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, loving and kind (Psalm 86:15). We can go before His throne in prayer and once again ask for His forgiveness.

We might also ask for His help in overcoming a particular sin. Ask for wisdom and guidance to help put it out of our lives. Sin isn’t always easy to overcome but as we strive to do so, we can rely on His forgiveness and His help (1 John 1:9).

Forgiving and Accepting Forgiveness From Others

When we have caused harm or hurt someone in a way which causes a rift in the relationship, it is probably time to go to that person and ask for forgiveness. “I am sorry” can be difficult words to say, but they go a long way in healing hurt feelings and wounded relationships.

Asking for forgiveness is not about making excuses for our actions. While we might feel the need to justify our words or actions, doing so can often nullify any attempt at seeking the forgiveness of another individual.

There are times when we might be the injured party. Forgiving someone who has harmed us through words or actions might seem impossible at times. However, we are told in Matthew 6:14-15, we must forgive if we want God to forgive us. Jesus said through a parable in Matthew 18:33, “Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on [forgave] you?”

How do we go about forgiving those words or actions that can feel almost unforgivable? It isn’t always easy. We can begin by sharing our pain and hurt with God through prayer. Pour your heart out to Him and then ask Him to help you forgive that person, even if they have not asked for it. Ask for Him to heal your heart and the pain you feel while giving you a heart of forgiveness.

The apostle Paul reminded the Colossians: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Colossians 3:12–13). So, we too must find ways to forgive, just as Christ forgave us.

There are times when the sins committed against us or someone we care about are so horrendous that forgiveness is something we cannot find in ourselves at that point in time. We might be filled with anger or even find ourselves feeling vengeful. Remember that vengeance is not ours but belongs to God (Romans 12:19).

Take those feelings to God and ask for his help in removing them. It might take time—just as a broken bone takes time to heal, so does a broken heart. Many times after the bone has been knit back together it can take years for the limb to completely heal. Finding the ability to forgive in situations like this will require the help of our God to intervene in our mind and heart. Continue in prayer and move forward with a goal of finding peace through that forgiveness.

Forgiving Ourselves

The Bible gives us clear definitions of what is right and wrong. When we find ourselves on the wrong side of the Word of God and having committed a sin, it can be difficult to go to God and ask for forgiveness. However, we know He is swift to forgive and remove our sins far from us when we do.

Forgiving ourselves, however, is not always as easy. Perhaps we lie awake at night going over and over what we should have done (versus what we did), the consequences of our actions and how they will impact our lives in the future. Maybe we are concerned about what others might think or say. We might find we have difficulty in going to God in regular prayer, allowing our shame to become an obstacle in that relationship.

While shame and the accompanying emotions serve a purpose of bringing us to repentance, they serve no purpose afterward. Once God has forgiven us, we are reconciled to Him and our relationship with Him is once again based on a true parent and child bond, there is no need to feel that shame (Hebrews 8:12).

Ask God to give you a heart of forgiveness toward yourself and remove the shame and embarrassment you might feel. Ask Him to heal your heart and your mind as you try to move forward in life. Put yourself in the company of those who will not put you down or find fault with you because of the actions you might have committed. Seek out those who embrace you as a person who has repented and, like themselves, is forgiven by God above.

Satan loves to find fault with God’s children. Revelation 12:10 tells us he is the accuser of the brethren day and night. He would love nothing more than to take your embarrassment and use it to create a barrier between you, your God, and your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Don’t let him!

Moving Forward

Moving forward isn’t always easy. We may find that our sins have damaged relationships or have put us in various situations we had not foreseen. How do we move forward in a way that is positive and gives us the best chance at a better future?

We might find ourselves feeling as if we would rather stay home than go to Sabbath services and subject ourselves to what others might be thinking or saying about us. Staying home might feel easier with each week we choose to do so. But there is a better way.

Get up and ask for God’s help to get you through the emotional and difficult feelings you might be having. Get dressed and go to Sabbath services. If you need to stand outside that door and take a deep breath before going in, do so. If you need to say a quiet prayer while taking that deep breath, do so. Ask God to strengthen you and take away those negative feelings you have.

You might find those within that room, those who are there to keep the Sabbath as well, are happy to see you. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that hard times can draw friends even closer. You may find their love for you and their desire for you to continue in the ways of God are greater than anything you imagined. You might even find the shame and embarrassment fade away in their presence. Be prepared for the love of God to be shown through His children to help you move forward in a way you had not considered.

May you find the peace of mind that comes from the love of God and His way!