[Bill Cowan] God says that children are a great blessing and that we should appreciate our blessing. Notice Psalm 127:3-5. Psalm 127:3 said, "Behold, children are a heritage from God. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; and they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gates.” And lo, children are a heritage from God. That word actually means an inheritance, a portion, and an heirloom. Your children are like an heirloom. As Alan just said, that they're the four generations now in God's Church and that is fantastic. I think we'd be shocked how many families God has actually worked through that many don't realize that they are kin to someone else in God's Church and yet maybe through the years they find out that they are, but children are a gift. They are a very precious gift from God. They are a blessing. As a matter of fact, that is the title of my sermon today, "Children Are a Blessing from God."

It says, "In the fruit of the womb, children are His reward," that children are the reward that God gives to us. And “like arrows in the hand of a warrior,” you know a warrior that's going out into battle if he doesn't have some type of weapon, well, he undoubtedly, unless God just protected him for some reason, but he would be slaughtered. But he said that having children then, it's “like having arrows in the quiver.” And he said “Blessed and happy is the one who has his quiver full of them,” but they are a blessing. Children are a blessing and should be a blessing. Do you realize that the Bible uses the term children 1,803 times? He talks about little children, children of light, children of God. The word or term child is used 201 times. Actually, 3 of the cardinal Ten Commandments that God gave to sanctify the family, to safeguard the family, and to protect the family.

He said, “Honor your father and your mother.” He said, “Do not commit adultery and do not covet your neighbor's wife or your neighbor's house.” So these three commandments were given to sanctify and protect the family. It's safe to say that God loves children. And of course, Jesus Christ demonstrated that, as we heard in the sermonette by taking the children up in His arms and holding them and laying His hands on them and blessed them. But the disciples said, "Oh, the Master doesn't have time for that. Get these kids out of here. They're an irritant. They're just bothering us." And Christ said, "No. Unless you have the attitude of a little child, you're not even going to be in God's kingdom." And He said, "Let them come unto Me because children are a blessing."

How many parents enjoy just watching their children sleep? And of course we as grandparents, I mean, we go absolutely insane. “Oh, look.” “Oh, isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever seen?” “Oh, look at that. Look at his nose wrinkle!” You know and we just makeover everything. But that's one of the opportunities of being a grandparent. That's fantastic. But children do, they just kind of brighten up the space. I have seen men that are some of the grumpiest, scruffiest, toughest looking people that I've ever seen. I mean, you would think literally if their face… if they could ever get a smile on their face, it's bound to crack because it looks like it's been umpteen years since they had smiled. And you let a little child come in the room and he'll play with a ball or play with the puppy or something and you just see this guy light up as he looks at him, just smiles and talks to him, “Goo, goo, goo,” you know.

The children have a way of bringing blessings to others and, of course, they are to be a blessing. It's amazing what children can do and a blessing that they are for us. Many of us now have grown children and we have grandchildren or great-grandchildren and I'm going to talk about our responsibilities with those today as well. But they truly are a blessing from God. And we as parents need to realize what a responsibility we have to treat them and to handle them as a blessing. Also, you children, you need to realize that you need to maintain that position of being a blessing because if you're not a blessing, then something is wrong.

I'd like to share some quotes with you today. Thanks to Mr. Gary Antion and his research. And I want to cover primarily five points today on how to treat our blessings, how to treat our children as blessings. You know, the children are a gift from God as we read and who's going to refuse a gift from the Creator of the universe? God says that He gives us that they are a replica of ourselves, which it's good and it's bad. If we're honest with ourself, I think most of the time we become frustrated with our children, it's because we see ourselves and we realize that they are turning out just like us and it hurts us and makes us mad. But they are, they're a replica of you. If you want to understand yourself, look at your children. Look how they act. Look how they react. Look how they act in a crisis and you will see yourself. They look at you in the family unit kind of like looking at a movie. Every day they wake up and they see this movie. Here's mom and dad, they react in a certain way. If there's tension, if there's bitterness or if there's joy and happiness and love, they sense all of that and they will act according to that.

Got a spider up here. It's all right. He doesn't eat much. But the movie they watch is about dad. The movie they watch is about mom and it's about how mom and dad interact and react with each other and it's about the children and how mom and dad interact and react with them. Their entire idea and concept of family is based on and formed at home. What they see with mom and dad and their siblings, that is their concept of what a home is, what it should be and how it operates. They really can't help it because that's what they're brought up in.

Here's a comment from Woodrow Wilson when he was the chancellor at Princeton and what he said about that, he said, "They are a replica. Children are a joy. Children are a blessing of joy. Children don't hold grudges." I remember our daughters would come home and say, "I hate that girl so-and-so." Let's say Patricia, or whatever her name was. And you'd say, "Well, why do you hate Patricia?" "Well, she did this to me." "Well, okay, you should get over that." And then the next day you ask how they were, "Oh, I had a really nice day today." "Oh, what did you do? Who did you play with?" "Oh, Patricia." "Well, I thought you weren't playing with Patricia. You told me yesterday that you hated her." "Oh, but I don't anymore." And that's the way children are. Children have a wonderful way of working together and working things out through a sense of joy and vim and vigor for life. They don't hold, generally, grudges, hopefully not anyway. And, of course, they bring love to people. They bring… they climb up on your lap and they hug you around the neck and they tell you they love you and how they appreciate you and so forth, and it just literally warms you all over.

Kids are not ashamed. I remember when Rod and Ron were little, and Michelle, all three of them would get up in my lap and they just hug, hug, hug, and kiss and hug and, you know, they couldn't seem to get enough of it, especially the boys. They were the most loving children I have ever seen, but they would just get up and they didn't care who was there. They just love you and they'd tell you they loved you and they just hugged on you and so forth. They just wanted to touch you all the time. They didn't care if it was hanging on your leg or on your arm or in your lap or what, but they just really were very, very loving. They weren't ashamed of that. They were filled with love and thereby helped me to love and to understand what true love is.

Here's a comment as an introduction that I want to read to five points in a moment, “Five Ways to Treat our Blessings." This is an original paper written by a young lady in 1985 at the summer camp at Orr, Minnesota. The assignment was write something that if you were a ruler of the world, what changes would you make? This young lady wrote an outstanding article and I want to read it to you because it does have to do with family and what a young girl said about family, and she was about 14 possibly 15 at the time, and what she thought. She said, "As an appointed ruler of the world, I would like to make a first change in the family relationship. I think if the bond between family members was a stronger, more loving one, some of the most major problems teens have today would be solved. Problems such as drugs, alcohol, smoking, premarital sex would gradually decrease and teens would be able to turn to mom and dad rather than speed, beer, marijuana, and their 'chick.'"

“The reason I think this would work is because the family members could learn to grow closer and express more love toward each other. They could grow to trust each other. Once they began trusting each other, husbands and wives would stay together and grow in love. Teens would ask for advice and go to their parents for help rather than to the drug dealers. Most teenagers feel home is like a prison cell and their parents are the guards, so they look for a way of escape. They have problems, but maybe if the family bond was stronger, the problems could be solved before they get started. From experience, I know parents have good advice and by following it all of us could save ourselves a ton of problems." Well, how well-spoken from a 14 or 15-year-old girl. And she realized the value of having a strong family unit.

Number one of the five points I want to give today on how to treat our blessings, how to treat our children and our grandchildren, number one is understanding. You see, when you enter the world of a child, you can't enter it as an adult in the sense of adult thinking. Look at 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, 1 Corinthians 9:19, the apostle Paul's approach was that we should become all things to others. And he said, 1 Corinthians 9:19, "For though I am free from all men…" In other words, he wasn't a bondservant, he wasn't in slavery. He did not have to do this, but he did it of his own freewill. "Though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant or a slave to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win the Jews; and to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law, to those who were without the law; as without the law (and of course, not being without the law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you."

So his wish, his purpose was trying to reach other people. His perspective was getting on their level, get where they are coming from. And too many parents expect their children to have adult reactions and adult responses and adult thoughts. We expect them to have adult actions when they're really just children. And you cannot expect that out of them. It's very, very important to treat your blessings in this sense of understanding and giving them understanding. Where are they in a particular stage? Boys like strength. Boys like cars, they like power, they like fast things. Girls like dolls, they like beauty. Those are, of course, generalizations, but that's usually the case.

In a moment, I'm going to share something about understanding here because if you understand your children, then they're going to come to you for advice. But if children do not have understanding in the family, then where is it going to be found? The family is the safest place for children, or it should be, it must be. And so if they cannot find understanding there, then they won't be able to find it. They'll go to drug dealers or they'll go to sex or whatever they can, alcohol, to try and find it, but it's not there.

And 1 Corinthians 13:11 in the "love chapter," the apostle Paul in this chapter brings out a very interesting point about children. 1 Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, yeah, I put away childish things." But it's important that we deal with children on their particular level, on where they are. Not that we become a child, but we understand the child and we deal with them on that level. It's important to recognize where they are as young people and then we try to communicate with them on that particular level in their thought, in their understanding. And again, I don't mean that you want to become childish or silly or something like that, but that you want to be able to reach them, that you want to be able to touch them and understand that at certain ages they're going to have certain needs more than other and at other times then those needs will change.

From a book entitled Family Understanding… I mean, pardon me, Friendly Understanding, I won't read all of this quote, but just at the end here, he said, "Listen to this one. There are a few gifts that one person can give to another as rich as friendly understanding." And there again, if we don't get understanding at home where then can we get it? It's important to understand the child where they are joining with them, reaching them. Here's another quote. This one says, "As a boy, he worked long hours in a factory in Naples. He yearned to be a singer. When 10 years old, he took his first lesson in voice. ‘You cannot sing. You haven't any voice at all. Your voice sounds like the wind and the shutters,’ said his teacher. The boy's mother, however, had visions of greatness for her son. She believed that he had what it took to be a talent in singing. She was extremely poor, putting her arm around her son, she encouraged him and said, 'My boy, I'm going to make every sacrifice to pay for your voice lessons.’ Her confidence in him, her understanding of him, where he was as a child at that time and constant encouragement paid off. The boy became one of the world's greatest singers, Enrico Caruso.” And most of you younger people who've never heard of him, but he truly, as far as our modern times from the 1800s until now was one of the greatest voices that has ever lived. He was a tenor, operatic tenor, and arguably was the best voice that has lived in our "lifetime."

The second point is communication. When we understand, then we communicate. Communication, by the way, is a two-way street. It's not just you talking to them, but it's a give and take. What worked with a 5-year-old in communicating with them will not work with a 15-year-old. It just doesn't work that way. Do you realize that fewer than 30 minutes a day are spent with children by the mothers? I had mentioned before, I saw a study of newborns where they put cameras in the house and they photographed the fathers and the mothers. But in this particular case, it was for the fathers that they spent 38 seconds a day with their newborn.

Now, when they were then questioned about it after the survey was done and they gathered all the material, of course, dad said, "Oh, I spend at least five or six hours a day just holding my little newborn." Thirty-eight seconds a day. And their mouth just… they saw the films and their mouth just dropped open. They couldn't believe it. I thought I spent all kinds of time with them. The average mother spends 30 minutes a day, not talking about it in the vicinity of the child or in the same house, but actually dealing with the child. The average dad, 15 minutes a day with their children. And when you work with children, you have to give them time. Time is one of the most precious things to a child. And they have to know that you want to be with them, that you want to know them, that you want to understand them. They have to know that you love them.

How many times have we heard the statement, children should be seen and not heard? That's absolutely horrible. That is, that's a horrible, horrible statement to think that a child would have to be quiet all of the time. Teaching children to be respectful does not mean that they have to just keep their mouth shut and never talk. How are they going to learn? And how many times are children left out of conversations because they're told to be quiet and, "Don't bother me, I'm busy," or, "I'm talking to so and so here?" And that's one of the things that has concerned me in our congregation is we don't have a whole lot of interaction that I have seen between the members and some of our young children, teenagers and young adults and so forth because we need to have a constant interaction with them because you wonder when they get 18 years of age that they trip over the rug trying to run out the door so fast to get away because they don't feel like part of the family.

They don't feel like we've got a cohesive family because nobody ever talks to them. You see the kid and he's standing over here in the corner with his hands in his pocket like, "Well, what am I going to do? And, boy, I sure wish mom would hurry up and we can get out of here," because nobody has any time for them. We should take time with our children, not just our children, I'm talking about our church children. We should spend time with them and encourage them. And then depending again on their age, get down on the level as much as we can with them. And you'd be surprised when they feel a part of the family when they turn 18 or 21 or 25, they're going to want to stick with the family because it's going to mean a lot to them. And they're not going to try running out the door like a track star the first chance they get.

But we do, we need to spend time with our own children and, of course, with our church children as well. We need to teach children to be respectful. We need to teach them principles of life. And Deuteronomy 4:9, Deuteronomy 4:9, it says, "Only take heed” because we have a responsibility to communicate, to teach, and to reach out to share with them. “Only take heed to yourself, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget what your eyes have seen, unless they depart from your heart all of the days of your life. But teach them to your sons and to your sons' sons… or to your grandchildren."

We do have a responsibility, a responsibility to communicate, a responsibility to reach out to their minds and their hearts of a young person, and to be able to teach them the principles of life that we have learned many times the hard way. In Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Deuteronomy 6:6, "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. And you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.” That we should be talking about God's way of life.

Talking about sound principles and lessons that we have learned. That doesn't just mean reading the Bible to them. One lady made the statement, "Oh, you know, when I was a child, my mom read the Bible to me every day." And when I asked, "Well, how did she go about it?" "Oh, she would just pick out so many chapters and just read that to me." That's not really the way to teach children. That's fine to read them the Bible, but there should be instruction and teaching with it. All that does., many times, it just turns into sheer boredom. “He begat, they begat, begat so and so and such and such, and then they begat so and so,” and after 30 minutes of that, you feel like you could run out in the field screaming. It's just that does not appeal to a little one, teenagers or whatever. But we do need to teach them, but that's not a good way to teach them. Don't just set them down and start reading and tongue-lash them with scriptures. It's better to teach them from the Scriptures and parents have a responsibility to teach their children principles, principles of life, principles that they have learned.

Grandparents have a responsibility to teach their grandchildren principles of life and it's important that we teach and do it properly. From an article entitled "A Son Gets an Hour a Day," says a young successful attorney, said, "The greatest gift that I have ever received was one I got one Christmas when my dad gave me a small box. Inside it was a note saying, 'Son, this year I will give you 365 hours, an hour every day after dinner, it's yours. We'll talk about what you want to talk about. We'll go where you want to go. We'll play what you want to play, it will be your hour.' My dad not only kept his promise," he said, "but every year, he renewed it and it is by far the greatest gift that I have ever had in my life and I am a result of his time."

How many of us are too busy to spend with our children, to spend with our mates, to spend with our family? I hope none of us are, but I know Satan and his tactics and he has deliberately worked out society to where everybody is so busy we don't have time one for another. It's important that we teach our children, that we reach our children and reach them on their level and their understanding. It's important that we spend time with them because if we don't, then they're going to have a warped view of God because their view of God is literally you. You kind of sit in the seat of God as far as they are concerned when they're little and you have to provide for them, you have to love them just as God would provide and love them and teach them and care for them.

Another quote comes from Charlie Shed's book, Smart Dads that I Have Known. And from the section entitled "Time Together Alone," said, "A dad in Des Moines, Iowa did an interesting thing last fall. He knocked on his daughter's door one night right after she had gone to bed. Then at her invitation, he went in, he sat down and he made this little speech, 'Vicky, I want to apologize. I want you to know that I am sorry for a silly thing that I have done. You are a senior in high school now and all of these years, I've been saying that someday I'll take the time for us to get acquainted. So here we are, nine months left in our home, then you'll be going off to college and after that probably getting married and no telling where you will live and how far we will be from one another.

So now I want to ask you to do me a favor. Once every week in this senior year, I'd like to take you out alone for a meal when we have some time to talk together. I know you're busy, lots of evenings and I cannot get away for lunch, but maybe we could get up early once a week and go out for breakfast just the two of us, you and me. That's my invitation. Take some time to think it over and let me know how you feel.' So she took some time, like 30 seconds, “then she threw her arms around him and from there he said, 'It's been so fine. What I found out is that this is one great kid and it really feels good to know maybe her mother and I did not do so bad after all.’" But he was willing to give her time, spending time with her time. In order to be able to communicate, you have to have time.

And in that, it means that you correct as well. So many parents anymore do not believe in correction and that's an absolute shame. You should correct, but it should be done in love. Over in Proverbs 13:24, we read from the Living Translation, it says, "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. And those who love their children care enough to discipline them." The number one reason given by teenagers as to why they run away from home was, oddly enough, a lack of correction. They universally said, "My parents don't love me enough. They don't care enough. I can do anything that I want and they don't even raise an eyebrow. My parents do not love me." There has to be discipline. So it does take correction. But I've seen people and they'll say, "Now, Johnny, don't you touch that glass of water. Johnny, if you touch, if you touch that again, I'm going to spank you." And the child learns on the 37th threat, well, he better leave it alone at that point because mom was so mad now, she is going to spank him. A child can learn to obey the first time. There's peace, there's happiness. They're not upset. You're not upset. Nobody's screaming, nobody's mad. The water isn't spilled. The first time. You work with them, you teach them, you're patient with them. But it does take correction and it takes also appreciation.

I've heard so many people feel like that they are not appreciated in what they do. Some parents have even gone so far as to say, "I'll tell you when you do wrong, but when you do, right, well that's expected of you and I don't have to tell you." But it's important to reinforce our children and to look at them and to tell them what a good job they have done. If you say, "Go wash the car," and they forget to wash the windshield, is that all you focus on and you just go out there in a tirade, "Well, you forgot the windshield, can't you see that? It's right here in front of you, how did you miss it?" and so forth instead of praising them for washing the car like you asked them to do, and then you might pick up the brush and you might say, "I'm going to get this a little bit more here, but you did a great job down here. Wow, look at this car shine." But instead, we tend to focus on the negative and we should not do so with our children but talk about the good effort that they put into it.

In Proverbs 3:27, Proverbs 3:27 brings out a principle. It says, "Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do it." So children get their self-esteem from their parents. They learn to have worth and value from you as they're growing up. Once you get older, then you can kind of boost yourself up, so to speak. “Well, I did a pretty good job with that," or “That was okay, I'm glad I passed,” or whatever. But when they're little, they don't do that and they look to you to be able to help them to have certain self-esteem. I'm not talking about vanity, but to have self-confidence.

You see children that are so beaten down that you know they're not going to accomplish anything in life because they're just like a loaf of bread. They just are there and there is no spunk, there was no nothing because dad and mom can't approve of anything that they do. So it's important that you remember to compliment them. It's important that you compliment them for their effort that they do. Grandchildren might bring you something and you look at it, it's this great big yellow ball. And you say, "Wow, that's, that's really nice." Said, "What did you draw here? Boy, you really used a lot of yellow and you did a good job with that yellow, didn't you?" And then they finally tell you that it's a chicken and you turn the paper upside down, there still is no chicken. You just can't see the chicken. You see yellow, but you don't see the chicken. But still, you brag on that with the children and next time, they'll bring you another picture. But if you start picking on them or ridiculing them or putting them down, "Well, that's not a chicken. That's the sorriest chicken I've ever seen in my life. Here, let me show you how to draw a chicken. This is what a chicken looks like." Then you'll never get another picture of a chicken. Chances are you'll never get another picture, period, because we put them down.

A quote from an article, "The Family" by William James, he's a U.S. philosopher. He said, "The deepest principle of human nature is the desire to be appreciated. A compliment is an effective way of raising a child's ego. An ego that is not wrong unless it's out of line and out of sync, then it's wrong. But it's one of the greatest stimulants to renewed effort. It is mean to be stingy with the praise in fear that it will turn a child's head." George Bernard Shaw made the statement and he said, "To withhold deserved praise lest it should make its object conceited is as dishonest as withholding payment of a just debt lest your creditors should spend the money unwisely." And that's your reasoning.

One lady proudly said that she never gave compliments. And at that moment, of course, your respect go down the drain. And what was interesting, this same woman loved to have compliments. Somebody would say, "Oh, that's a pretty dress," or, "You look nice today," or something like this, and she'd just light up. But she was proud that she never gave a compliment, and that is so sad. That's really pitiful. If you treat your blessings that way, then you're abusing them. We need to compliment, encourage, correct, and strengthen our children.

Point number three is providing. For this one, I'd like to share with you a comment from a basketball player, Alex English, and his story, he said, "I want to tell you about a man who couldn't be at home with me as much as he wanted to when I was a little boy because he worked too hard to make it comfortable for a life for his family. Yet I feel his influence to this very day. This man was tall and strong. He drove a cement truck down in Columbia, South Carolina where I grew up. He worked long, hard hours all of his life and maybe longer and harder than he had to. You see, he wanted to earn enough not only to take care of our huge family, at times there were more than 12 of us, including brothers and sisters and cousins, but he also helped out anybody who needed it.

If your great-grandmother had a grocery bill she couldn't pay or if a friend of his needed help with the rent, he was always there to pay the bill or to put his name on the line to borrow the money so that he could help them. That's the way he was. People in need had to be helped, no question. He didn't ask questions. He didn't talk much at all, but you couldn't find a more generous, gentle man. Even though our house could get pretty crazy with all of the kids, I never heard him raise his voice. The respect and affection that flowed out from him spoke louder than any lectures I could have heard on how people should act. I hope I can pass this example of quiet love onto you, son." He's talking to his boy.

"One thing I can't give you is the real feeling of what it's like to grow up poor because I did. There was a time when I was little that food was scarce in our house, when Thanksgiving dinner was saved by a bag of groceries from a charitable organization. Every day I'd scour for soda pop bottles that I could collect two cents each and then deposit and maybe accumulate enough pennies to buy some extravagant treat like a chocolate milk or a honeybun." And he goes on to say to his son, "This man I'm telling you about never got to see me play basketball." And Alex English played for the Denver Nuggets. He was a very good basketball player. And he goes on and he says, "He never got to see me play. He was happy for me, pleased by whatever I accomplished. But because of his long hours at the wheel of the cement truck, he could rarely get away to see me play. I knew though that he was proud of me." And he says, "One time he was planning a trip and he fell ill and he died, but his name lives on with you, William Paul English, my son. And I hope to make sure that his values live on in and through you.” His values of hard work, his values of caring and providing of love toward others and so forth, that is quite a legacy that he left.

You know, providing for children is more than just food, shelter, and clothing because we have to provide comfort. We have to provide love for them, more importantly than the food, clothing, and shelter. Here's a quote from Ross Campbell on how to really love your teenager. I saw an article, "Is it Possible to Love a Teenager?" But here's one on how to really love your teenager. "The first responsibility of parents is to provide a loving and happy home. The most important relationship in the home is the marriage bond." And that is so true. So many people put children in front of and before their marriage and that's a shame. "The most important relationship in the home is the marriage bond, which takes precedence over the parent-child relationship. The security of a teenager and the quality of the parent-child bonding are largely dependent on the quality of the marital binding.” So not only providing the food, clothing, and shelter but providing love, security, happiness that we should give to children when they grow up.

In 1 Timothy 5:8, 1 Timothy 5:8, it says, "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." Ours, the King James says, “an infidel.” I hear, of course, he's talking in contact about taking care of widows, but it applies, I think, to the whole family unit that we have to take care of our own. So God puts a burden of responsibility on parents to provide for their family, to provide warmth, provide shelter, to provide love, provide care, to provide concern and compassion besides the food, shelter, and clothing.

In Luke 11:11-13, you're familiar with that, that Christ said, "If your son asks you for a fish, would you give him a snake instead? Would you give him a serpent?" He said, "If he asked for an egg, would you give him a scorpion?” And just set back as the thing stings him all over and just laugh and laugh? And he says in verse 13, "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them who ask of Him!” And of course, He knows us and God assumes that even as evil as we are, still, we love our children and we are willing to give to them that children are looked at as blessings and they are treated as blessing. The parents are going to give them things, they're going to provide for them so that they remain a blessing.

Number four, number four out of five is example. Woodrow Wilson comment again, this is a separate one. He was still president at Princeton University. He wasn't just a dean but he was president and he spoke these words at a parents' group. He said, "I get many letters from you parents about your children. You want to know why we people up here at Princeton can't make more out of them and just do more for them. Let me tell you the reason why and why we can't. It may shock you a little, and I'm not trying to be rude. But the reason is, that they are your sons, reared in your homes, blood of your blood, bone of your bone. They have absorbed the ideals from your home. They have formed and fashioned them. They are your sons. And in the malleable, moldable years or their lives, you have forever left your imprint upon them."

And our example does mean so much to children. We can say one thing and do another, and which do you think they're going to notice? And if you're not genuine, then your children will grow up with an understanding of lying, of stealing, of not respecting one another and so forth. From an article entitled "A Family Perspective," from this book, it says on page 131, "Children acquire expectations about family life by growing up in families. Childlessness, for example, cannot be socially reproduced through parents' socialization of children. Why? Well, because no children, there's nobody to model after. The growing percentage of children who spend time in single-parent families implies that socializing favoring the conjugal system may be wanting. As an increased number of children spend less time in their traditional family units, they may be less inclined to create such a unit themselves, such as the family decline also has an integration dynamic." So in other words, he's saying that if they don't have a good family life, then chances are they are not going to have a good family life. What children see in their families, they model after it. And they can't help it because that's just the way that they're going to do it.

It's important that the marriage be strengthened so that they give that strength to the children. Jonathan Edwards, I really was not familiar with, but his story of his descendants is inspiring. He was the son of what they felt like was a godly home. His father was a preacher and his mother's father was also a minister. If you trace the history of the offspring from this man, there were more than 400 of them that can be traced from Jonathan Edwards. They include 14 college presidents, 100 professors, 100 of them have been ministers of the gospel, missionaries and theological teachers. More than 100 of them were lawyers and judges. Out of the whole number, 60 have been doctors and as many more authors of high rank and editors of journals. In fact, almost every conspicuous American industry has had as its promoter one or more of the offspring of Edward stock since the remote ancestry was married in the closing half of the 17th century.

Why did these people turn out like this? Because he set an example for them, and that's the family because of the example. The example was powerful and it made an impression. In Proverbs 17:6, it says it's so important that we are genuine and to set the right example for the children. It says, Proverbs 17:6, "Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents and the pride of their children." That's the Living Translation again. And I've known kids that have literally walked with a limp because dad walked with a limp. There wasn't anything wrong with them, but they just mimicked their father. And because they saw what the parents did, so often they turn out the same way.

It is so sad when abused children wind up abusing their own children. I think every single one of them, when they're growing up, they say, "I will never ever do that to my child." And then statistically speaking, they turn around and they do it to their children. They need a model to be able to follow. That's very important. It says in Proverbs 20:7, Proverbs 20:7, "The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them." In other words, they follow that example. They are blessed because they follow after him and they walk like their dad and they walk in integrity.

Douglas MacArthur said this, he said, "Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory. Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; one who will know You are worthy and that to know himself is the foundation of the stone of knowledge… Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goals will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, and yet never forget the past. And all of these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor so that he may always be serious and yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strengths. Then I, his father, will dare to whisper that ‘I have not lived in vain.’"

Point number five. Point number five, the final one is to love your children, to show them affection, to care for them. We all realize this, but children need to be loved. They want to be loved, they crave to be loved. I had a cousin, a girl, who would just pull the dumbest, stupidest things just to get the attention of her parents because they didn't pay any attention to her, period. So she'd just come up and grab this and throw it over and then look at them like, are you going to spank me? That she wanted to be spanked because that was the only time she got attention. That was the only way she could get attention from them, that they just did not show any attention at all. And so she would pull some just horrible stunts because she wanted attention. They need to be loved.

In a book entitled Caring, Feeling, and Touching, it brings out that the most shocking and conclusive evidence of all comes from a study that showed that babies who were not routinely touched, handled, and fondled when they were fed by their orphanage attendants simply withered up and died. It's called Mars React [SP]. The children just die because they have no reason to live. Of course, for years it was assumed that such infants were the victims of some rare disease. But today, no well-run orphanage or daycare center would think of putting a baby down with a bottle propped up on a pillow or another substitute for holding them during the individual feeding. Do you know what they do now? They rock, actually have little cribs or you can go into even preemies where the preemies are kept and they actually have them rocking some motion. They have little holes where the parent can put their fingers through and stroke even the child trying to protect them from disease, but yet the parents are allowed to stroke them. It's important for them to be loved. It's important for them to feel that love and attention coming from people who are supposed to love them.

In 1 John 4:7-8, it says, "Beloved, let us love one another, for God is love; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. And he who does not love does not know God, for God is love." And if you love one another, brethren, which we do, should we not love our children? And just as I said, even our church children that we spend time with them, that we take them and we talk to them and we try to get down, as it were, on their level to learn what they are going through and give them wisdom and help, hopefully.

And it says in verse 19 in 1 John 4, "We love Him because He first loved us." How many parents have said, "Well, if my child just loved me, we'd be a whole lot happier, but I just cannot get them to love me!” Who's supposed to reach out first? The parent. “We love Him because He first loved us.” And we as parents need to reach out to our children and to love them and express that love to them. Tell them that you love them, let them know that you love them. I knew a man that told me, and they were married 60-something years, he said, "I could not tell my wife I love her if you held a gun to my head." And yet he loved her and he said, "I love her and she knows I love her, but I can't tell her." I don't understand that.

I recently talked with a woman that said that her husband told her 45 years ago that he loved her and he has never said it since. And even if she asks, "Well, do you love me?" he'll make some flippant answer like, "No, I don't," and yet she knows that he loves her, but he doesn't say it. How would you like that if you lived in a house where your husband or your wife would never ever tell you that they love you? That's really sad.

I want to share with you a comment here from Ross Campbell. He brings out, he says, "As an infant, a child, he needs to be cuddled, hugged, fondled, hugged and kissed— ‘ooey-gooey loves stuff' as my eight-year-old son calls it, this typical type of physical affection is critical from birth until a boy reaches seven or eight years of age— and I mean critical! Research shows that girl infants less than 12 months old receive five times as much physical affection as boy infants. I'm convinced this is why younger boys have many more problems than girls. Five to six times as many boys as girls are in need of psychiatric clinics around the country. As a boy grows and becomes older, his need for physical affection such as hugging and kissing lessens, but the need for physical contact does not."

And it goes on to talk about that physical contact, how that you need to have eye-to-eye contact with them and touch them and so forth in communicating with them. And the children, if you're going to remain a blessing, you should really try to learn of God, that you need to learn about God so that you can conduct your life for God and also to be grateful. Tell your parents when they do something for you that you appreciate what they've done and that you're thankful for it and tell them thank you, that maybe you're going to do the dishes tonight or something like that. Not have the attitude, "Well, they're supposed to feed me!” But be thankful when mother cooks a good meal or dad brings in something, but be grateful.

And number three, dare to be different. Different from the world, different from your peers that you are willing to stand up for your beliefs. When somebody asks about the Feast of Tabernacles, you tell them. When somebody asks, why you don't keep Christmas, you tell them, you don't mince words, you don't offend, but you tell them. You stand up for what you believe and you'll be shocked at what people think.

I want to close by reading from Abigail Van Buren column, "Dear Abby," and this is a prayer that a father… I mean that a person makes, a parent, and it says, "Oh, heavenly Father, make me a better parent. Teach me to better understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, to answer all of their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them, or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me… Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes, or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me. May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power. Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal. And guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all that I say and all that I do that honestly produces happiness. Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I am out of sorts, help me, Oh Lord, to hold my tongue. May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults. Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and to make decisions… Bless me with the bigness to grant them all of the reasonable requests and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm. Make me fair and just and kind and fit me, Oh Lord, to be loved and respected and imitated by my children. Amen."

Children are a blessing. Treat them as a blessing and you, children, remain a blessing because that is what God says we are to do that truly children are a blessing.