Marriage: a Tool For Spiritual Understanding

The marriage of husband and wife is a picture scripture uses from beginning to end to teach truths about who God is, how He thinks, and His view of the relationship He desires to have with us… in fact the relationship He desires to have with all humanity. This scriptural use of human marriage to explain and clarify important spiritual truths is not simply clever game of words and ideas.

Marriage is a very real experience… felt with great intensity in the flesh… in the mind… in the emotions. But it is also a spiritual experience introduced into the physical world by God. Through marriage flesh and blood humans begin to experience that which is spiritual. With the help of the Holy Spirit and His word… marriage is means for you to learn something of the mind of God.

A Spiritual Perspective On Marriage

You can have a very un-spiritual, human-centered view of marriage.  Simply ask yourself… “how does marriage suit my needs… providing a safe comfortable way to satisfy my sexual needs, my physical comforts, a reliable source of companionship, a cure for loneliness, a means to achieve personal happiness etc.

Marriage is so much more! The God-ordained institution of marriage between a man and woman is given to us to provide spiritual lessons and insight. Achieving personal happiness may be part of your marriage experience… but it may not. Most likely you will be happy sometimes… and other times not.

Those moments that are troubled, when there is friction, perhaps disappointment, unrealized expectations, testing or temptation… these are the moments with potential to provide the greatest spiritual lessons… if viewed through a mind filled with God’s Holy Spirit and the sure word of scripture.

Let’s spend today looking at:

3 Big-Picture Spiritual Concepts Taught Through Marriage

Appreciating God as creator -  through having children of our own
God views his people as a husband views his wife – purity, exclusivity, avoiding sexual sin
Christ and the church – reconciliation of God and humanity

1.Appreciating God as Creator

In marriage we work together with God to bring children into being. We share with Him the experience of creating new life. Our role in the process is limited but still profound. Husband and wife, each created in the image of God, contribute equally to the genetic makeup of the new life. Yet, more significant… husband and wife both contribute to the spiritual makeup of the new life through instruction, example, and discipline.

On His behalf, we administer discipline and instruction to our children. We gain insight into God’s authority, and into His purpose… the creation of beings with godly character.

Through reproduction we also learn about God’s identity and nature… humanity does not spring forth from a “one” but from a united pair… working together in unity. God said “let us create” humanity in our own likeness and image. Likewise, human mothers and father, working together, both contribute to the genetic and spiritual makeup of a new life… a unique being.

An Un-Spiritual View of Reproduction

Humans can get pregnant and give birth without marriage… but that is not the way humans were designed to operate. And when we begin to operate outside the parameters of God’s intention the results are poor.

Unspiritual humanity imagines marriage to be a construction of our own imagination. Something we developed to give us the edge in the survival of the fittest… an institution for physically stronger men to oppress weaker women, etc.. Since mankind created it we can change it as we please… or even dispense with it when we judge the idea marriage has served its purpose.

Wrong… marriage is a spiritual relationship not dreamed up by man but ordained of God… based on the principles of the God family itself: two operating as one in a spirit of love, selfless living, humility sacrifice and reconciliation. Therefore, God watches closely over marriage and protects its observance… beginning with the 7th commandment: no adultery.

2.God Views His People as a Husband Views His Wife

We don‘t understand God better by looking at elements of our marriages as a way to better understand Him. Instead we begin with God… the husband… the spouse… and take what He shows us about His desires, His attitudes, His feelings, His goals for His people… and work to put those into our marriage. 

Men… how does God deal with His people? How does He show love… how does He interact with them in gentleness, patience, compassion?  - Learn these and put them into your marriages.
Women… what response does God want from his people? Does He want them to response to His lead, to trust Him, respect His wishes? - Learn these and put them into your marriages.

Isaiah 62:1-5 – delights and rejoices in her

Hosea 2:16-20 God want a relationship that is fueled by love and intimacy… not self motivated fear… He wants loyalty and faithfulness not mere duty or role playing.

True Love For God is Exclusive

There is no other way to life except through the God of Abraham, the God of Israel, the God who reveals Himself to man through His holy word. To reject the truth God has revealed and accept other teachings, other pathways to life is to accept lies that end only in death. So, God wants us to remain exclusively fixed on the true teaching… the true path to life. He gives His first commandment: “You shall have no other gods before  me”.

Then He gives us an additional commandment: “no adultery”… this God-given instruction for exclusivity in marriage provides a very real, hands-on spiritual tool embedded into our daily lives. Exclusivity in marriage is way for you to physically experience and demonstrate dedication and focus. The same type of dedication and focus you need to apply to the prime directive of God’s truth. “to love Him with all your heart and all your mind and all your strength”… “have no other gods before Him’… there is no other way, no other truth, no other path. Exclusivity in marriage is spiritual tool to remind you of this on a daily basis.

Jesus also spoke of Himself as a bridegroom or husband - John 2:29

Revelation 19:7 overcoming pictured in marriage terms

Conversely a breakdown of spiritual fidelity is depicted in marital terminology as well – Jer 3:6-9 also Matthew 16:4 (not referring to physical infidelity… referring to spiritual problems… rejecting the true bread of life, unbelief substituting the traditions of man for the commandments of God, etc.)

3.Christ & The Church – The Ministry of Reconciliation

Ephesians 5:31-33

We don’t look at human marriage to better understand Christ and the church… human marriages are flawed… because the people in them are flawed… their ideas are flawed… their practices are flawed. Instead we start at the top. We see Christ and the Church… and then try to apply THAT in our marriages?

What is Christ and the Church?

Christ’s sacrifice made it possible for you to become part of His church… His people… a people reconciled to God… having a right relationship with Him… and a people reconciled to one another… having right relationships with one another. That’s what others should see when they look at the church… and that’s what others should see when they look at our marriages.

This is a God oriented view of your marriage – two willing to be reconciled to one another. Marriage has its trials, tests, disagreements, blunders but we work them out… we seek reconciliation through humility, repentance, forgiveness and making things right.

If I am part of the body of Christ then I should realize marriage is about more than procreation or a safe/legal haven for sexual satisfaction, or comfort and companionship… my marriage is a model of, and a witness to, God’s love for His church in action… and if I buy into that I’m going to approach my marriage with a different attitude.

Colossians 1:18-22 – God’s goal is to reconcile ALL things. He begins with His people, the church The ministry of reconciliation doesn’t stop there... it just starts there.

2 Corinthians 5:14-20

As part of His ministry of reconciliation I no longer live to please myself. I put to death the old person who measures the value by every action by how it pleases me… instead I live to please God… not in fear or drudgery of duty… but to make Him happy.

What pleases God? Selfless living, humility, people who are reconciled and at peace with one another… so in every thought and every action you can ask yourself… is what I am doing pleasing God?

Because of this I no longer view my spouse or my marriage from a worldly point of view. I see both as something intensely spiritual.

Day by day I put to death my own selfish desires… “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”… I take up my cross every day and walk…. 2 Corinthians 4:10-11.

God has called you to be part of His people, to live a life of reconciliation, to show forth the mystery of Christ and the church through fellowship and through marriage. Operate within marriage as if God were making His appeal through you… To say to others on Christ’s behalf… “be reconciled to God”.

Ephesians 5:21, 22 (for wives this means), 25 (for husbands this means)

Can we as a church communicate the message of reconciliation if our marriages are filled with quarreling, animosity, selfishness, and even divorce? If we give up on one another… how can we convince others that God does not give up on them? If we cannot be reconciled to one another how can we convince others that they can be reconciled to God?

A broken relationship and separation from God began with a married couple… doing what… seeking to please themselves rather than seeking to please God.

Today, humanity’s reconciliation to God has begun among His people… this is the mystery of Christ and the Church.

Conclusion:

Marriage is not a second rate spiritual state…. a consolation for those unable to control their impulses. Neither is the function of marriage limited to reproduction. Marriage is a gift from God, a spiritual tool, and a spiritual discipline… which teaches you about the mind of God:

To appreciate God as creator -  through having children of our own
To experience how God views his people as a husband views his wife – purity, exclusivity, and avoiding sexual sin
To act out on a daily basis the mystery of Christ and the church – the reconciliation of God and humanity.