[Gary Antion] How many of you have heard of John Wooden? You know who John Wooden is? How many people have heard of John Wooden? John Wooden was an All-American from Purdue. Played three years at Purdue. My son-in-law is happy about that because he is from that area. He was an All-American. He went on to join the Navy when they had a need for him to enlist in the Navy, and he became a coach. He coached Indiana State for a couple of years, then he moved on to coach in UCLA. And that's what he's most famous for.

In UCLA he has the distinction of coaching and winning seven national titles in a row. National basketball titles for the collegiate ranks seven years in a row. In fact, he won ten altogether. Ten out of twelve times that they were even in the semi-finals. In the other two years they were in the final four. Got knocked out of that particular one. So he's coached some really great players like Lew Alcindor, known as Kareem Abdul Jabbar. And some other really good players he has coached. Bill Walton and others.

But the big thing I'd like to share with you today is not about basketball. John Wooden was married for 53 years. His wife's name was Nell. John Wooden loved his wife so much that when she died at age 73—he was 74; he was at her bedside—every month for 25 years; because he lived to be 99 before he died; every month he wrote a love letter to his wife and he put it under her pillow. Every month for 25 years. Talk about dedication and talk about love.

I want to share with you what Rick Johnson started out in his article that he has on what husbands need. He says: Beloved and revered by his players, legendary coach of the UCLA Bruins college basketball team, John Wooden changed the lives of every young man who played for him through the powerful values and life lessons that he taught them.

You can go online and look up John Wooden quotes and you can get a whole raft of quotes that John Wooden had. I'm going to give you a couple more at the end. Just quotes about life because he said; his team; he wanted them to be more than just a team; he wanted them to learn about basketball, he wanted them to learn how to live life. And a lot of them are really wonderful principles. You can go and get them if you'd like to.

But here's what Mr. Johnson goes on to say, Rick Johnson, who wrote this book that I'll quote from in a little bit, in a few moments. He says: Perhaps more importance Coach Wooden was married for 53 years to the love of his life, Nell. Wooden was so dedicated to her that after her death in 1985 he continued to write Nell a love letter for every month for the next 25 years. He faithfully placed those letters under her pillow on her side of the bed until he passed away in 2010, going to be with his beloved wife (of course that's what they believe with heaven and hell and an immortal soul which we don't). This is the kind of man I want to learn about relationships from.

Coach Wooden had this to say about marriage. “Love means many things. It means giving. It means sharing. It means forgiving. It means understanding. It means patience. It means learning. And you must always consider the other side, the other person. You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. Young couples get married and don't realize it's different from courtship. You have to work at your marriage. And it's two-sided and you'd better realize that.” And here's what he says afterwards: I think Coach Wooden was trying to say that we need to eagerly fulfill the needs of our spouse if we want to have a successful marriage. That's what Rick Johnson says from his book entitled What Husbands Need. You can find it on TodaysChristianWoman.com.

So those are some quotes. Let me share with you just briefly, because I looked up online just to see if they had anything. There's one that has fifty-two things that a husband needs. I didn't worry about that one. They had a lot of others; quite a few of them on what husbands need so I didn't go. But I did pick out two. One is by Rick Johnson. He says what husbands need. And he goes on to say that they need companionship and forgiveness. They need encouragement to fulfill their dreams. They need respect and they need time. Time to themselves sometimes and time to be themselves. And finally they need to be needed. So those are what he brings out in his article on what husbands need by Rick Johnson. It's found in the same place, TodaysChristianWoman.com.

Another one by Aaron Anderson writes about what men want out of marriage. And this is found in ModernMarried.com. He says men want to be wanted, not necessarily needed. They don't just want you, I need you now. They want you to be wanted, not necessarily needed. Of course they like to be needed too. They want to be taken care of, that's what he says, they want to be taken care of; because many boys were taken care of by their moms then they get married however you're not marrying your mom, guys, you'll be marrying your wife, not your mom. But they like to be taken care of. And they say they like the wife to be in tune with him. That means to cooperate; to be in tune. He says men like to be taken out on dates. So they like the woman, maybe, to be an initiator from time to time, And they like to feel safe in a relationship that they can absolutely trust.

So those are four from Rick Johnson and five from Aaron Anderson, but what I would like to do today is give a sermon on nine Biblical reasons why husbands need their wives. Nine Biblical reasons why husbands need their wives. And this is about a tribute to the wives. I figured there would be maybe more women here than men with a lot of them going up to the men's weekend, so I wanted to tailor it for that, but men can listen in on it as well. All nine of them begin with the letter “C”. All nine of them begin with the letter “C”, and all nine of them have Biblical basis.

Number One. Number one. Why a husband needs his wife. He needs her to complement; that's an “e”; c-o-m-p-l-e-m-e-n-t; they also need her to compliment; i-m-e-n-t. They need her to help complete him and they need her for someone they can compliment. Now hopefully both will go back and forth. Hopefully she will compliment him too. But she's a complement to him. She helps fill him out. In fact, many will say good marriages happen not just because people love each other; although that is a requisite; but because they complete each other. The man sees something in the woman that he doesn't have, that she completes him. They complement, as opposed to compliment, but I have both.

So let's look at a scripture, Genesis 2:18. What did God say? I'll only give you a couple scriptures about each one, so it will be about eighteen scriptures because I have nine points, nine reasons. Genesis 2:18. He says this: And the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone. Before He made Eve, comes back and tells us how he made them male and female, how He made the man first, then He made the woman after. He said: It's not good that the man should be alone I will make a help meet for him. The word help. You can look it up, it's used lots of times. It has to do with aiding, helping somebody. God is our help. So God helps us. So a woman helps. She aids. She assists. She is there with him. And also the word meet can also be translated mate. It can also be translated around, or before, or against. In other words, they are there with that person. A helper with that person. A helper suitable, or comparable to. She wasn't made less than a man, but she was made to be his helper. She was made to complement him. To add what he lacked.

And I believe in every woman there is great adaptability in the women more than in the men. That women can adapt if the man needs them to fill in this way; they do. If they need her to be the social butterfly of the family; they do. If they need her to be the one who organizes; they do. They need her to be the one who keeps things in line and keeps things going smoothly; they do. It's up to them to fit in together, to work together. It's not about the man being a boss and the woman just being a slave. It's not master/slave relationship although some say that's can work in psychological field, the master/slave where the man—the woman just bows and scrapes to him all the time—not a good relationship. But again, to complement—complete-- and to compliment—give expressions of respect and admiration.

Isn't it interesting in Ephesians 5:33. Some will say even that husbands need respect almost as much as they need love. They need to hear affirmations of respect almost as much as they need to hear that you love them. They need to know that you respect them as a wife. They need that from you. Ephesians 5:33. He says: Nevertheless let everyone in particular so love his wife; we'll come to love later on; even as himself, and the wife see that she respects; or deeply respects; reverence it says in old King James; new King James; respects her husband. That is so important. It's so important to be able to give compliments. It's important for the man to give compliments too. He needs to have his wife, she's the crown, right, as in Proverbs 12:4. She's a crown of him.

You can also read in Song of Solomon, which I decided not to go to, but chapter 4, let me share with you just a few points, Song of Solomon 4, this man, the husband, expressing to his love. He talks about her eyes being like dove eyes. Talks about her hair being like a flock of goats. I don't know if I said to you today, came in and said, your hair really looks nice, your hair looks just like a flock of goats. That was apparently a compliment back then. Her teeth look like shorn sheep. If I said to you when you smile you have beautiful teeth. They look just like sheep that have just been sheered. What? Okay, that's another one that was apparently a compliment. Lips like scarlet thread. Lips like scarlet thread and a temple, your temples look like pomegranates. I don't know if you have bulging temples or just talking about the color. And then finally there was one more that I left out, another one that's too suggestive but anyway he says: her neck is like the tower of David. If somebody said to you: you have a beautiful neck. It looks like the tower of David. Oh a big, massive neck this lady has—like a football neck. You can't get it on backwards.

So, again, to compliment and complement. Let me read to you a couple of quotes that I have on this particular issue. Here's one: Prominent layman said, I'm sure my wife is an angel. See, he was giving her a compliment. She's always up in the air, she's usually harping on something, and she never has anything to wear.

And here's another one, here it is, up here. These are all quotations from 7700 Quotations by Lee Paul Tan. This is number 2345 if you want to check me out. Bowling Green, Kentucky. Two octogenarians who renewed a youthful romance 68 years later, can't agree on what to name their first child. Arthur Fortner, 88 and Aletha McReynolds, 82, in 1974 renewed a courtship that broke off 68 years ago because he wanted to see the world first. Sixty-eight years, he must have microscopically seen it. But anyway, they were married September 3rd. Fortner said the only dispute they ever had is over what to name their first child. I don't think it would be too much of a dispute at 88 and 82 to have their first child. So anyway, that was another one. But he gave her a compliment, he came back to her and they never had any fights at all. 

Let's go to the second point. Second point is why a husband needs a wife is to conduct. To conduct. Like conduct, but conduct. That means the art of leading. If you're a conductor, there's an art of leading. Mr. Shoemaker's here he knows that—how to lead a song. Mr. Warner knows there's an art to leading. There's a certain way. And it's to lead people. So he needs someone to lead. And again, Ephesians 5:22-24 we find this: Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as to the Lord. We will always teach that man is the head of the home. But how he's head of the home makes all the difference in the world. The Bible says he's the head. When the chips are down, when it's final decision to be made, it's up to him. But he always wants to do it in conjunction with his wife because marriage is always about two. Marriage is not about one. You don't marry yourself! It's about two and so you always take that into account. We'll talk about that later. We'll talk about communication. But he has heard a conduct that says: wife submit yourselves unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and He is the savior of the body. So the husband is looking after her too.

And in Ephesians 5:24. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ; so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. So he needs a wife to conduct. How is he going to be a husband without a wife to lead and to conduct? I put it this way, he's the pilot; and she's the co-pilot. The co-pilot is capable of flying the aircraft. They may not have quite as much experience, but they are very capable. That's why they are a co-pilot. And in marriage, the husband is the pilot and she's the co-pilot. It's not like he's a pilot and she's a flight attendant serving the coffee. She's a co-pilot. She's with him. But he does need a wife in order to conduct. It's how he leads that is very important.

1 Corinthians 11:3. Just another scripture to buttress this point. We read this, but I would have you know, this is Paul; the apostle Paul; after he talked to Jesus Christ who could have changed anything He wanted. He could have said: You know, that's a bad idea. An Old Testament view that man is the head of the home. Let's get rid of that. Let's update this. He didn't do that. But in 1 Corinthians 11:3 he said: I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; the head of every woman is the man. And the head of Christ is God. The head of the woman is the man. So God has given man that responsibility, and without his wife how can he be a conductor? How can he be a conductor? So he needs his wife to conduct. The art of leading. Who is he going to be leading? The act of leading. Remember it's always how does that husband lead.

Third point. Third C. Why husbands need a wife. To communicate with. To communicate with. And I chose the word communicate rather than consult or something else because I wanted it to convey there is more than just consulting. There is conversing, there is talking to one another, there is sharing with one another information. Communicate is very important. It means to seek the advice of. And to seek the opinion of someone else. And husbands are very wise to make sure they seek the opinion, especially when it's about the family, especially when it's about both of them. Not to say: Well, I think I'll paint this room green because I like green. Maybe his wife doesn't like green. Well, I'm the head of the home, I'll just paint it green because I like to. Why doesn't he say: Hey, dear. What do you think about this? Now, if it's his office and he's going to be in there most of the time, he can get her opinion and if he still likes something better than what her opinion is he can overrule her. And that's what he chooses, it's his. Just like if she wants the kitchen a certain color, she's in there more often than he is, she should get the preference of what she wants. But again, it's working together. It's communicating with and seeking the opinion of.

1 Peter 3:7 tells us that they are heirs together. Heirs together of eternal life. How much more so should they be doing communicating one with another? 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor to the wife, I'll come back to that one, as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life. They need to be sharing things, talking to each other. Talking to each other about their hopes and dreams. Talking to each other about their problems. Talking to each other about their frustrations. Talking to each other about their highlights, their happiness, their joys, their accomplishments, their successes. Talking. Sharing. Communicating.

Husbands need a wife to communicate with. Try doing it with your dog. Dogs are very understanding. Try doing it with your bird. They may repeat a few things back. In fact one bird heard the woman calling for the man. It was a parrot. So she must have picked up what this woman did. Some people were watching this bird for these people who were moving into their area and this bird would say: Frank, Frank, Fraaaannnk! Every so often it would go: Frank, Frank, Fraaaannnk! Like a yell almost. I guess that's what she does to her husband. But you know what? Even if they say, well, why is Frank late? It's not going to be able to help you. You talk to your dog he's just going to look up at you with puppy-dog eyes and they'll love you and wag their tails when you talk nicely to them, but they can't give you input. They can't give their opinion. They might wag their tails if they like what you're going to give them, if you say “nice dog”, but they can't communicate with you. Not in a way on par that helps you. Husbands need their wives for communications.

It's interesting, I find in 2 Kings 4:8-11. You might write in your notes, I'm not going to turn there. You'll find the Shunammite  woman who was so happy that Elisha kept coming by her place. She would come by and say this is a holy man. Come on and eat here. Come on in, turn in, have a bite to eat. So he came a few times and she said to her husband, they consulted. She said to her husband: You know, this holy man keeps coming by. Why don't we build a little room on here so he has a place to stay when he comes by? So Elisha was able to stay with them. But he came by because they communicated. She didn't just say should we build this? No they consulted one with another and were able to do that. How awesome is that to be able to communicate?

You have a bad example of communication. You remember Ananias and Sapphira in the book of Acts, chapter 5? Oh yes, they communicated. They conspired. They wanted to let on that they sold this property and gave all the money to the church. When, in fact, they kept back part of it and they were both party to it. They conspired together. Yes they consulted. But they consulted for evil. A good wife will consult with her husband, but a good wife will obey God rather than man. If that man says, well, let's tell them that we're giving it all and then let's put the rest of it in the bank. You know what she should say? Honey, that's a lie. That's a lie, I will not be party to that. I cannot do that. And not just humbly follow him no matter what. God expects you to have first allegiance to Him. And at any communication you should be willing to openly communicate that to your husband ladies and not say well he's the head of the home he'll be responsible. Yeah he will be but you'll be responsible if you're party to it. You'll be aiding and abetting.

Le me read you a couple of quotes I have two of them. About consulting your wife. There was a sign in the wallpaper and paint store. Here's what it said, quote: Husbands choosing colors must have a note from their wives. Here's another one: What an average housewife does, and this was back when women stayed home, okay? She cooks 35,000 meals in her lifetime. She makes 10-40,000 beds depending on how large the family is. She vacuums a rug one mile long and 1/10 of a mile wide. She cleans 7,000 plumbing fixtures. So we better be grateful and thankful that we have our wives and we'd better communicate nicely and lovingly to them because they are there to help us through. So, communicating. Commenting on each other. Talking to each other. Kind words. Straight words. Straight talk. Helpful talk. Consulting before decisions are made. So that's point number three. Communicate with he needs.

Number four. He needs to have a wife as a companion. He needs to have a wife as a companion. A companion is translated: an associate; one who accompanies another. She's there. She's his partner. She's there with him to accompany. Malachi 2:14 is the scriptural reference for this one. This is set amidst a sad situation where men were fooling around on their wives and God called them on it. But He reminds them as why they are doing this. Malachi 2:14. He says: Yet you say, you know why. Why is this? Because the Lord has been witness. Why are my prayers not being answered? Why am I not getting any results? And God says: because you've been dealing treacherously with your wife. And he says why? Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth. I didn't put this in there, but it's always nice to remember how it was when you first loved your wife. And how you would do anything for her then. And wives, how you would do anything for your husband to be. He says: I've been witness between you and the wife of your youth against whom you have dealt treacherously, yet she is your companion. She's your companion and the wife of your covenant. We'll talk about covenant briefly toward the end. She's your companion. She's the one who is along side of you. She's one who accompanies you. She's one who is with you. We need wives to be with us. Husbands need their wives to have as a companion. They are one team.

Notice what Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19:4-6. When He was asked about marriage and divorce. They asked Him about divorce—is it okay to put your wife away for any reason? But notice what He says to them: Have you not read which made them at the beginning made them male and female? Don't you know He made them both? You want both perspectives. You want somebody there with you as a friend. It is not good for a man to be alone and for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. We'll talk about cleaving later. So I'm going to leave that for a moment. And they two shall be one flesh. Not only one flesh sexually. Not only one flesh in the children they bear. But one flesh as a team that they work together. That they are together as a husband and wife. He says: Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh and what therefore what God has joined together let not man put asunder. She's your companion. Why does a husband need a wife? He needs somebody alongside of him. And I know many of us in the early years of the ministry our wife was our assistant, she was our counselor, she was our aide, she was our helper, she was our cook, she was everything to us as we traveled. We had been out there in those early years, we'd better love our wives because we spend almost 24 hours a day with them. We're not going off to work somewhere, eight or nine or ten hours and coming back, we'd better love them a lot because you're with them 24 hours a day. In the ministry, you're traveling together, traveling all over, and we still like being together. My wife and I like traveling together. We like being together. We like coming home together. We like sitting together. We like sports together. We like lots of things together. She's my companion. And husbands need a wife because they need a companion on the female side.

Number five. Why does a husband need a wife? He needs a wife to co-parent with. He can't have a child by himself. He was called in Genesis 3:20 the mother of all living. Every human being except Adam and Eve came from a woman. Every human being, male or female. Unless they're begotten in a test tube. They come from a man and a woman. And Eve was again from a woman who bears them. Every person who has been born, except for Adam and Eve. Adam was made directly by God and Eve was made by God out of man. The first woman was made out of the rib of a man. Other than them, every other man and woman come from a woman, and a man generating, so most of them have part in co-parenting, but the woman is the one who bears the child. Congratulations to those that have children. Congratulations to those who just had children. That's awesome, wonderful. Glad to build the church that way. So they will be adding to our numbers as they come along, The Boises and the Magees.

Proverbs 1:8-9. It takes both parents to bring up children. Both parents have a part in it. Both parents need to lay down the law. Both parents need to teach. Not just the man. Both of them. Proverbs 1:8-9. My son, hear the instruction of your father—it doesn't stop there—and forsake not the law of your mother. Mothers lay down the laws too. Why does the husband need a wife? Because he's not there all the time. Why does a husband need a wife? Because she can help add the tenderness. She can also add the strength in rearing the children. She's around and in fact more women have a sway over their children than the men do. Why? Because they are the care givers. They are the ones at home. They are the ones that that baby learns that's where they get their milk from. The baby learns that the comfort of a mother's arms. And many times babies don't even go to the dads. Initially they are still tied to the mother. Separation anxiety comes in. But anyway, verse 9 says: For they shall be ornaments of grace to your head and chains—not heavy chains, but necklaces—about your neck. But the husband and the wife both have a role in co-parenting. Husbands need wives to co-parent.

Proverbs 23:24-25. The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice. When she teaches his child the right way and that child turns out right, and he that begets a wise child shall have joy of him, so the wife will have joy as well, your father and your mother shall be glad. And she that bore you shall rejoice. Husbands and wives co-parent, and children need both. Children need both to step up to the plate and be with their children. To care about their children. To love their children and it shows. Let me read you one other quote from John Wooden. He said: The most important thing in the world is family and love. Another one he said: The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. If children see a loving father and a mother working together for their best interests, those children are going to grow up healthy. Those children are going to grow up with balance and a perspective in life. So, again, co-parenting. The wife gives birth to them, but the husband has a responsibility, and the wife too, in rearing them.

Ephesians 6:1-4 talks about rearing their children. We're doing fine time-wise.  Ephesians 6:1-4. Notice what Paul again. The apostle Paul could have been told anything by Jesus Christ, right? He was taught after all the other apostles. He had kind of the final word. He was taught directly by Him, and yet he didn't say: Don't worry about that, don't worry about this. But Ephesians 6:1-4 he says: Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Parents. Not just Dad. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise. It's up to parents to be honorable. It's up to parents to honor their children too. To show them respect and honor by how they treat them. That it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

And you fathers provoke not your children to wrath. Dads can razz and pick on their kids. One fellow, I had the, not pleasure, but I had the opportunity to counsel with the son. You know what the dad did? He picked on the son until the son would try to fight him and then his dad would knock him out. It gave the dad great pleasure to beat up his son. His son told me because he came to college. Hey what should I do because I'm going home? I said: Here's what you do. You tell your dad if you start to get into any type of controversy that's escalating, just say “Dad, I'm going to leave the room and go to my room because this is getting too heated. I'm going to step out.” And here's what you tell him. Tell him that Mr. Antion told me to do this. And if he lays a hand on you again I want to know. You don't have to stand there and take that. You can just get out of the room. You can say Dad, this is getting too heated, I'm going to step out of the room, go to my room. If he follows you, you tell him Mr. Antion told me to do this. So again, parents don't provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture, discipline, and admonition of the Lord. Bring them up.

Proverbs 22:6 says: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he's old he won't depart from it. Children will remember. I was just told today about a couple of older children were thinking about coming back to church. They had church when they were young. They left. And the mother was so excited to tell me that one sister, one daughter, said I'm coming back. And by the way, my brother said he's coming back, too, because of her good example of putting God first, and walking in God's ways. And she taught them that sometimes when they get older they will come back, they will return. You know the name Eve means life giver or living. The word Eve means life giver.

Point number six out of nine, another C, is husbands need their wives to consider. To consider their wives. Let me read this quote to you. On the dedication page; comes from 7700 Quotations by Lee Tan. He said on the dedication page of a witty book are these words: This book is dedicated to my wife, without whose help in proofreading...it would have come out earlier. So he needs his wife to consider. He did consider—he dedicated the book to her. He considered her as a good proofreader so that's why it didn't come out so early. But to consider means to be thoughtful of and to think about. To be thoughtful of and to think about. So, a husband needs a wife so he can think about somebody. So he could care. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7 Paul talks about, those that are married, they also be thinking about their wives as well as God. But those that are unmarried they can think solely upon the Lord because they don't have a wife or a husband to consider. You'll also find in 1 Peter 3:7 which we read, but let's go back there real quickly. Husbands are to consider their wives. Notice he says: you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge. What is your knowledge about your wife? What is the knowledge of a husband about his wife? God tells the husband to think about her. Why? To have knowledge of her. Likewise you husbands dwell with them according to knowledge.

And notice: giving honor to the wife. He's thinking about her as to the weaker vessel. Not as a weakling, but as a weaker vessel. The wine glass as opposed to the beer mug! The man is the beer mug. The woman is the wine glass. They both hold libation. They both hold drinks, beverages. But if you clink them together which one gets broken quickly? The wine glass, of course. Does that mean the wine glass is not good? I'll bet wine glasses cost more than beer steins unless you get real fancy ones they have up in Mader's in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. These German ones that are so big and decorative and hand painted. But just normally you could buy a beer mug probably cheaper than you could buy a really fine wine glass. So husbands need to think about their wives. They need to think: you know, my wife is like a fine wine glass. I need to be kind to her. I need to be nice to her. I need to help her. She's got a sore back, I need to do the vacuuming this week. She's going through a dangerous area of town, I need to protect her. I don't want to go all the way have her go into this dangerous area of town to wash the clothes since we don't have a washing machine, just go to a laundromat. I'll go with her. That's considering. Husbands need wives to consider. To consider them. To be thoughtful about and to think of.

Ephesians 5:26-27. He says: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing with the water by the word. To help his wife. To encourage her. It doesn't mean to take God's word and preach to her. Some of the early Ambassador students; and I didn't know this and I didn't do this, I could have but I didn't; but this one senior guy decided to take this freshman girl out for a walk and tell her all the faults that he had noticed in her in the last several months. I don't want Bible study but this is correction day so I said if I were the woman I would have said you have no business telling me this. You're not my husband! But what husband, what's he see his wife done, okay dear, I've been noticing all these things wrong with you and here's the biblical person, I'm the head of the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church so listen to me. Here's what I'm saying. Here's my pronouncement. The husband who does that is going to ruin his marriage! But a husband who helps his wife says hey, dear, I studied this. What did you study today? I am studying this, share with me what you were studying. Oh I didn't study today. Now he got the point home, didn't he? He didn't even have to tell her. Or the wife who says honey I was just studying this section and I came across this and I really find this interesting in Deuteronomy but oh, by the way, what book are you reading? Oh I didn't get my study in today. So you can be helpful to each other. But the point being consider each other.

And he says in verse 27: that he might present to himself a glorious church. Not a discouraged church. When you wash it with the Word they come out glorious. They don't come out depressed. Too much hammering to anybody is going to discourage them. You have a congregation depressed. I've walked in to congregations; they are depressed. When I walk into them I can tell right away if those people are skittish. You know who causes that to be skittish? The way you're treated. The way they're treated. Wives, husbands need to treat you with respect. Husbands need to treat you with consideration. And that's why they need a wife. To treat with consideration.

1 Corinthians 7:14 he talks about the husband who has a wife who is unconverted. He's her ticket to God's Kingdom in this life, if He's going to call her. The wife who has a husband who is unconverted, that wife needs to consider him, and consider herself his connection to ever being called. What do you know oh wife if you will sanctify her husband. What do you know oh husband if you'll sanctify your wife. 1 Corinthians 7:14. Consideration needs to be given to both.

Let's go to point number seven. Seventh C why a husband needs a wife, is to cherish. And I chose that word cherish as opposed to love, which wasn't a C word anyway. But the word cherish, because cherish means to honor; to love; to hold near; to adore; to protect; to care for lovingly and tenderly; and to treasure. That's why I chose cherish. Husbands need their wives to treasure; to hold near; to adore; and to honor and love. And to protect. Ephesians 5:25, we're still in Ephesians. Let's go to verse 25. Husbands love your wives. It doesn't say husband love your wives. That would be plural marriages. Husbands love your wives even as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. So one strong command, one strong role for a husband is to love his wife. He needs a wife to love. He needs his wife. Because he needs someone to love and to cherish; and to adore; and to respect; and to honor.

Ephesians 5:28-29.So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself. Like you take care of yourself, take care of your wife. Now if you don't have very good self-esteem you might not be able to take care of her very well. So you might need some training in that, but, verse 29: for no man ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it even as the Lord the church. Cherish your wife. Nourish. Encourage. Up-build. Uplift. So that's cherishing your wife. Let me see if I have one more quote here. I do. Quote B. If I can find it. Yes. Sara Ramirez on Brainy Quotes said this about love. There's nothing like the first kiss once you've been pronounced husband and wife. It's such a wonderful moment. Something happens from the time that man said I Do and the minister said I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now they are husband and wife. Before that time they were fiancés. That first kiss once they've been pronounced husband and wife he said it's so wonderful.

And remember what Coach Wooden said about love? Love means many things. It means giving. It means sharing. It means forgiving. It means understanding. It means being patient. It means learning. It means you must always consider the other side, the other person. So again, loving. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. Cherishing. What do you do? How do husbands show? Who do they bring candy home to? Who do they bring a flower home to if they have no wife? Certainly not to themselves. Wouldn't have the same effect. It would not have the same feeling. And by the way, Titus 2:4 tells wives it's okay for them to love their husbands. Our original marriage ceremony done years ago only required the woman to say do you promise to honor and obey him and submit to him as the scriptures say. Never did they promise. I was talking to my wife, you don't have to love me dear. You just have to submit. You never promised to love me. But I found Titus 2:4 and I had a part in doing our current wedding ceremony and I put in love. Because I found Titus 2:4 which says the older women should teach the younger women to love their husbands and love their children. Love. So ladies, it's okay to cherish him back. But husbands need a wife for someone to cherish.

Number eight. Another C. Is someone to have confidence in. Someone to have confidence in. And I gave the example of John Wooden. About how he said the most important thing was having a wife one of the most important things you could do is have a wife and how he had confidence in her, he said he wanted to have her with him all the time. The word confidence implies trust. It implies reliance. Proverbs 31. Why a husband needs a wife. He needs a wife that he can be confident in. Proverbs 31:11-12. The heart of her husband, speaking about the Proverbs 31 woman, this virtuous woman, the heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall no need of spoil, trusts this she shall do him good and not evil all the days of his life. She will do him good and not evil all the days of his life. Wow. He needs a wife that he can have confidence in. Another good scripture on this, Proverbs 12:4. A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that makes ashamed is a rottenness in his bones.  A crown. She brings him glory. She makes him feel like a king. She makes him feel like he's worth something. And, of course, without that feeling good about who you are, then what happens? A wife who makes is like rotten is like cancer in his bones. I'll give you two examples. Micah 7:5. I'll just refer to it. It's a negative one where he talks about you can't trust those that are closest to you in difficult times. He said and don't open up to, or don't give counsel to the person, the woman, who lies in your bosom. Don't disclose to her. Micah 7:5 is negative.

And also Samson and Delilah. That's found in, if you want to check it out later, Judges 16:15-18. Samson fell in love with Delilah. She was told by the Philistines see if you can find out what the source of his strength is. So she would entice him into bed with her and all the rest and she said: Tell me where do you get your strength from? Well, if you have seven thongs like reed that have not been dried. They're kind of still new. If I'm tied with those I can't do anything. So she tied him up with those and then she would say: The Philistines are here! And he broke loose. Oh Samson you lied to me. You didn't treat me nice. Then she said, tell me. He said okay, new ropes that have never been used on anybody else. New ropes, that will do it. So she bound his hands with new ropes. She said the Philistines are here and he jumps up and snaps the ropes. Oh Samson you didn't confide in me. You treat me so badly. You lied to me. She said, okay, tell me what it is. Okay, if you braid my hair in seven braids and put a pin back there to hold it; put a bobby pin or a Samson pin; back there to hold it, I'll lose my strength. So she did that and she yelled again—the Philistines are here. He jumped up, the Philistines were waiting, they could see that he wasn't at all able to be subdued. So she said: Oh, you treated me so badly. Why can't you confide in me?

She wanted him to confide in her. Husbands need a wife to confide in, but not about your strength. Not about losing your hair, your what's happening. So in verse 15 she said: How can you say you love me when you won't confide in me? Then he told her. If my hair is cut I will lose my strength. I'm a Nazarite. So she had him put her on head on her lap and soothed him, rubbed him, probably massaged him, but when he was asleep she cut his hair. Then she said—the Philistines are here! And he got up and he had no strength. And then they put his eyes out right away. And you know the rest of the story. But you need a wife to confide in. She said “How can you say you love me, when you won't confide in me?”. Marriage. Husbands need wives in order to confide in. To have confidence. To share things with. Very important.

And finally, point number nine, the ninth C, is to have someone you can cleave to. Cleave to. Genesis 2:21. The word cleave—I looked it up years ago—and it means: stick like glue. Stick like glue. So he wants to be glued to somebody, he might as well be glued to his wife. He should be glued to his wife. Genesis 2:21. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. And He took one of the ribs and He closed up the flesh thereof, and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. He built a woman from that rib and He brought her to the man. And Adam said, this is probably not with a gleam in his eye, that said this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman. Out of man, Isha, for she was taken out of man. She will be called woman because she was taken out of man. Verse 24: Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh. Therefore they were both naked the man and his wife and they were not ashamed. Why should they be ashamed? They were married. Why should they be ashamed? There were no other human beings around. The animals, they didn't mind because the animals were running around naked, so they didn't mind. They didn't mind what's happening. But the point being they need to cleave to each other. A husband needs a wife, someone who will be faithful to him. He needs a wife who will be committed to him, both of those definitions are found in that area.

In Malachi 2:14 I read it before. He says: This is the woman that you have covenanted with. You've made a deal with. You've agreed with. You stick with her. Don't divorce. God says He hates divorce. Covenant with her. Malachi 2:14 tells us that.

And in Matthew 19:9-10, this is my last scripture. We find Jesus Christ's teaching again on this. And this is repeated several times by the way about husbands cleaving to their wives. If they are going to be glued to somebody, they are best to be glued to their wife. Now that doesn't mean the wife is like a leech. Stuck to his skin, he can't go anywhere-here she is, he can't say anything-here she is always grabbing his arm, holding on to him as I recall one Sabbath service in Pasadena, California, we were sitting a little farther back and this newly married older couple. This woman was all over this man for the whole church service. The poor guy couldn't even turn in his scriptures, couldn't even turn to them because she wall all over him holding on. And that I call ivy growing on him. It's ivy. Her name wasn't Ivy. But it was like ivy growing all over him. That doesn't mean that.

It means you stay with each other. We're sticking together. We're committed to each other. I'm not leaving you. I'm not saying—oh I'm sleeping on the couch. Take your ring back. Whew..throw it across the room. That's no way to make a marriage work. Everybody has problems and difficulties in marriage. No marriage is perfect. Except the heavenly twins who just rock back and forth. They have, neither one has any gumption. Neither one has any fight in them. And they just rock. Nice day, Martha. Nice day, Clem. Nice day, Martha. Nice day, Clem. Looks like it's going to rain. Yes, Clem, looks like it's going to rain. Yeah, they're two percent, apparently, heavenly twins. But 98% still have difficulties getting along. And so you've got to cleave. You've got to stick it out. I've known couples if they just stuck it out a little longer they would have made it over the hump. But they couldn't handle the hump. So they divorced and by the way, the second person usually is not going to be much better. In fact maybe even worse. But divorce hurts so much you may end up sticking with him rather than the first one. Very sad. So again, someone to cleave to.

Matthew 19:9-10. He says: Again I say to you whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, shall marry another commits adultery and whoso marries her does commit adultery. Verse 10: His disciples say to Him: If the case of the man be so, if his wife it's good not to marry. If you've got to be faithful, if you've got to stick like glue to this person, maybe it's better not to marry and if you have that thought maybe you shouldn't get married. Maybe you shouldn't get married. Marriage is not until divorce do you part. Marriage is until death do you part and sadly enough some people have had to divorce because of the way they were treated. Because of the way the relationship went, because of sexual immorality. And that is sad. But marriage is until death do you part, not until divorce do you part.

So again, someone to cleave to. Someone to hold on to. Again, John Wooden had his wife. He wrote her a letter every day for twenty-five years. Every month for twenty-five years. Must have had a big stack under that pillow. Twelve times twenty-five. Over 250. Probably close to 280 or 270. That's a lot of letters, because he loved his wife. He cleaved to her. Husbands need their wives to cleave to.

So, in conclusion, husbands do need their wives. They need their wives to compliment and complement. They need their wives to conduct. They need their wives to communicate with and they need their wives to be a companion to. They need their wives to co-parent with and they need their wives to consider. They need their wives to cherish. They need their wives to have confidence in. They need their wives to cleave to. Husbands and wives, and future husbands and wives learn to need and appreciate each other that they may live happily together for the rest of their lives.