It is clear that an elderly person's family is looked on as the greatest source of aid. "The evidence shows that the family is still a very important source of meaningful social interaction for the elderly. Research studies have found things like this: sixty-two percent of people aged sixty-five and over have a son or daughter within walking distance; eighty-four percent live within one hour of at least one of their children, and only seven percent live further away than two hours…For most older people, that family is still the most important aspect of their social world" (Dean Black, The Older Person and the Family, 1973, pages 167 and 169).

In some cultures it is automatically assumed that the aged parents will move in with the children. This is a means of carrying on family traditions and a source of stabilization for the grandchildren.

Most will agree (especially in light of 1 Timothy 5) that the family needs some involvement with the aging parents. But, how much? And what can be done where the child is deficient?

While 36 percent of elderly people live with their children, only 8 percent feel it is desirable to do so (Black, page 166). In fact, in one study 77 percent of elderly people interviewed would rather live elsewhere than with their children. Some children don't understand this. They may try to coerce their parents to come live with them.

Some practically "parent" their parents like children, and others virtually abandon them. Caring and concern are vital, according to what the individual parent needs and what the child is able to supply. Without care and concern, parents feel abandoned and neglected. Many a senior citizen has sat lonely while he awaited a visit of concern from his family. Some are still waiting.

Others feel the joy of seeing their children and grandchildren and the knowledge that those dear to them care. They are never too old to enjoy being touched, embraced and loved. They perk right up knowing someone cares. Letters from children and grandchildren far away mean so much (Proverbs 17:6). A telephone call to express concern and affection adds much to the older person's life. Even though many children live close by, not all of them show concern.

As long as parents are in good health, they ought to be encouraged to remain at home. This appears to be the best place for them as they will be more comfortable at home. Encourage them to make use of their leisure time by enjoying friends their age. Many activities for senior citizens are available in local communities. Making new friends at the senior citizens' center can help relieve their craving for companionship. They may learn new games, take trips and get counseling from competent individuals.

With diligence, a child may help his or her aged parent find visiting nurse services, housekeeping services, home-delivered meals, telephone reassurance programs, transportation services, visiting programs, day-care centers and financial help, if necessary. These are usually community-sponsored, and there are other private organizations that offer help for the elderly who choose to remain in their homes. For most in good health, this is best, with frequent caring visits, calls and letters from their children.

What about when they are no longer able to cope on their own? We'll cover that next time.