If you were to conduct a poll on what the role of a man is in today’s world, you would probably get as many different answers as there were people questioned, dependent on their attitude, age and values.

Traditionally, a man’s primary role was viewed as the main breadwinner and disciplinarian, the silent macho type who prided himself on his physical strength and fortitude. The roles and expectations of a man have changed somewhat in today’s fast-paced society. It appears the main focus now is working to gather as many material possessions as possible, while at the same time trying to keep out of debt. Many modern men are pressured to keep up with the ever-increasing demands to buy the latest gadgets in order to keep up with our modern culture’s emphasis on materialistic gain.

Gone are the days when a man brought home the bacon and the woman stayed home to look after all the domestic chores. Today it seems both the man and woman have to work full-time just to make ends meet. Aside from helping out with domestic chores, most men are encouraged to be more open, and, in many cases, to play dual roles both on the domestic front and in the workplace. Today it seems a man is valued on his intellectual ability to say what is politically correct, not what is right. On the social scene there is a feminizing of the male image and confusion over gender roles.

Finally, there is Hollywood’s version of a man. We observe this view in the movies and sitcoms starring men who are womanizers, loud, opinionated and emotionally charged. In other cases, Hollywood’s version of a man is portrayed as timid and weak.

What should a man expect of himself?

What should matter most to a man is whether or not he lives up to the expectation of his Creator as outlined in God’s Word.

The value of a man in Scripture is not portrayed in material possessions, wealth or physical appearance. God’s Word speaks first and foremost about the importance of a man’s character and integrity. For God is not so much interested in a man’s intellectual ability, his education or his training as He is looking at the deep desires of a man’s heart.

Where does character come from?

One definition of character is shown in the Sermon on the Mount as the consistency to stick to the nuggets of truth and set priorities straight. Integrity is the quality of being complete and unimpaired. It comes from being completely obedient to the Ten Commandments and having a steady diet of God’s Word (1 John 2:5; 1 Peter 2:2). It is relying on the strength of God’s Holy Spirit to help us make the right choices in living out our Christian faith and in doing what is right, no matter what is or isn’t politically correct. Together, character and integrity flourish when a man trusts and depends on the strength of God (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Character also comes from emulating the great men and women of the Bible who displayed the type of integrity and character traits all of us should develop in our lives. We can follow the example of men like Noah, who was a beacon of light in a dark generation. He stood out as a righteous man, willing to obey God when everyone else sinned. Abraham, too, was a great man of faith and a godly man in his generation.

Who can forget Joseph, who showed compassion, forgiveness and love for his brothers instead of revenge after they sold him into slavery. He also fled sexual temptation because of his reverence for God. Moses chose to obey the Lord rather than live a life focused on passing pleasures. Three young Hebrew men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego, stood up for their beliefs under the most severe persecution and threats. Daniel, as a young man in exile, would not compromise his standards, nor hide his faith.

One could go on to mention others who showed great character and integrity such as the psalmist David’s devotion to God in difficult circumstances; the young Stephen’s relentless faithfulness to Christ, even to death; and, of course, who can forget the apostle Paul’s hard work and boldness for the Christian faith under the most severe hardships?

What are some good character traits?

The Bible is full of examples of the character traits of a good man. One only has to read the book of Proverbs to see how godly wisdom and knowledge can shape our character and instill the kind of integrity God is looking for in a man. But perhaps the best place to look is 1 Timothy 3, which specifically outlines desirable characteristics of a man and his place in the Body of Christ. Let’s look briefly at these qualities stated for Church leaders in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and apply them in a broader sense to all men.

A man is to be blameless. This does not mean a man cannot sin, for we have all sinned and come short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). What it does signify is that a man must have a pattern of life in tune with biblical standards of behavior and conduct.

God’s Word speaks first and foremost about the importance of a man’s character and integrity.

He is to be a husband of one wife. There is no ambiguity here. A married man must honor his marriage vows and be faithful to his wife at all times. This includes not dabbling into any type of sexual immorality or pornography. His life is to be truly and wholly devoted to his wife, and he is not to lust after other women (Matthew 5:27-28).

A man of character must be temperate. The word means “showing moderation and self-restraint.” A man who is temperate in his Christian walk does not lose his spiritual orientation, nor does he give into destructive extremes, but, rather, lives a balanced and steadfast life.

He is instructed to be sober-minded. This refers to the quality of being sensible and sharp in one’s thinking and actions, thereby exercising responsibility in making sound judgments and decisions.

He must be of good behavior and hospitable. A man should be trustworthy, respectable and honorable in all his actions, both in his public and private life, so his true character matches his reputation. The term hospitable refers to a man’s inclination to show kindness and empathy to friends and strangers alike and a willingness to help those in need. In today’s desensitized world, we all need this trait.

A man should have the ability to teach. To tactfully teach others about the Christian faith without showing arrogance and bigotry is truly a Christlike character trait. A man should not only have the discreet ability to teach others, but also be teachable himself if he is to grow and mature in Christ.

He is not to be a slave to alcohol or display violent behavior. A godly man is not the kind of individual who is controlled by alcohol. He does not abuse his own body, which is the temple of God’s Spirit. We are also instructed to be no longer drunk with wine but be filled with the Spirit instead (Ephesians 5:18). Strife, violence and temper tantrums do not please God. This includes violence not only in actions, but also in our thoughts and intents. In fact, Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Matthew 5:9).

He is described as gentle and not quarrelsome. A good man is to be gracious, kind and considerate, while showing the kind of etiquette that displays the utmost consideration for all human beings. One of the seven sins God hates is someone who is always stirring up trouble (Proverbs 6:16-19). We are warned about the folly of a quick temper causing a lot of quarreling and divisions (Proverbs 29:22). Therefore, a man should not be the type of individual who is always looking for an argument or stirring up trouble.

He should not be greedy for money nor covetous. To acquire wealth and material possessions is not wrong. Some of the most godly men of the Bible were wealthy, like Abraham and Job. However, it should not be an obsessive priority overpowering us and destroying our relationship with God. Both Jesus and Paul warned against a preoccupation with money (Matthew 6:19-21; 1 Timothy 6:10). Also, Proverbs 22:1 advises us if we have a choice between a good reputation and great wealth, choose a good reputation.

A father should be the type of person who rules his own household well and has his children under submission. Many children are missing a father figure in the home today, and society is suffering for it. A man has the responsibility to make sure the relationship with his wife and children is good. He is to love his wife as much as he loves himself and to rear his children up in godly values.

A man of the house should be the one who is there for his children and who helps them in time of need. He should be a person his children can confide in. He is to respect and honor his wife and take on the responsibility of a good leader and manager of his home life. The words under submission do not mean a father is to use his leadership to force his children into obedience. Rather, he is to develop the kind of relationship with his children that builds love, trust and respect so the children want to learn proper behavior and etiquette. Proverbs 20:7 states children are fortunate if they have a father who is honest and does what is right.

Finally, he should have a good testimony among those outside of the Church. A man must have a good reputation in the community and display the kind of behavior seen as a good role model to young and old alike. His conduct should exemplify the very character of Christ Himself in showing a strong witness to others.

Our greatest role model

How did Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior and the author and finisher of our faith, show strength of character and integrity? Simply put, Jesus lived His faith in complete devotion to the will of His Father in serving mankind.

God is not expecting a man to start out as a perfect, sinless individual… This is why He sent His Son to forgive our sins if we repent and believe in Him.
This included love and compassion for everyone (Mark 1:40-42), speaking the truth about sin and hypocrisy (Matthew 23), taking time to pray (Matthew 14:23; Mark 14:32-42; John 17), refusing to yield to temptation and drawing strength from Scripture (Matthew 4), hating sin but showing love and mercy to the sinner (John 8:1-11), following through on His commitments (John 12:23-33), serving others (Matthew 20:28; John 13:1-17), setting His priorities straight (Matthew 5 through 7) and having a forgiving spirit (Luke 23:34). He truly was and is man’s greatest role model.

Let our light shine

In summary, God is not expecting a man to start out as a perfect, sinless individual, for He knows to err is human nature. This is why He sent His Son to forgive our sins if we repent and believe in Him (John 3:16). However, God does expect every man to be a beacon of light in a world of darkness and to be the best role model he can be. He should strive to allow God’s Holy Spirit to mold and shape his character in working out our Creator’s great purpose in our physical lives. Then, He will give us eternal life and rulership with Him in His great Kingdom to come.

To be led by God in seeking the very purpose of why we were born and to allow Him to shape our character like His Son is indeed an honorable role for all men.