In the years 1999 and 2000, I suffered from anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I’m extremely thankful now that I am no longer suffering with those personal trials! Now I’m happy now to share my story of recovery and healing, hoping that it will be of help to any reader who is suffering from all or any of these afflictions.

These three adversities may sound the same to some people. Although they overlap and interact, they are different, but I suffered with all three at once which made my life quite miserable for a while.

I’m sharing with you what I went through and how I came out of that dark, gloomy tunnel and saw the light of hope. If you are going through any of these three problems, you may feel there is no hope.

And your thought toward your friends is likely to be: “you just don’t understand what I am going through.” A popular saying is: “You don’t know what someone’s experience is like unless you have walked in his shoes.”

How my experience began

My problems started when I was out with my family at a restaurant and started feeling nervous. The nervousness started growing worse for no reason at all, and went into severe anxiety. After that, I could not be around crowds. So, to avoid crowds I made my home my safe haven. At that time, I lived alone. I prayed and prayed for God’s help, but things got worse. My anxiety had gone into panic attacks where I could not leave my home; my safe haven had now become my prison. By not being able to leave home, all I could do was look out my windows and feel depressed.

When I went to church services, I arranged to have a chair reserved next to the door so that I could come in late and leave immediately after the service.

Personal help using baby steps

A big part of God’s answers to my prayers was how He inspired the lady who is now my wife and was my fiancée at that time. I would call her at her home and ask if I could come over. She would say yes, so I would get into my car with my heart pounding and with heavy sweating because I was fighting the panic attack. When I got to her house, I would stay a very short time and then I would rush home to my prison. Then I would call her again and ask if I could come back. This happened over and over, sometimes two or three times a day. Thankfully, she was remarkably patient with me and very helpful. She did her best to be very understanding while helping me not to be self-pitying.

To overcome my situation, I had to take baby steps, like one learning how to walk. A baby who is learning how to walk holds onto something and then takes the first step. He falls, but then he gets up and tries again until he eventually starts walking.

So, to get me started, my fiancée would say to me, “Please drive me to the grocery store.” I would tell her, with my heart pounding through my shirt, “I can’t do it.” She would say, “Yes, you can, you can just wait in the car.” It was rough, but I did it. Later, she would say, “Now walk me to the door of the grocery store.” Once again, I would say I couldn’t do it. Then she would say, “Please do that for me and then you can go back to the car and wait.” I would be wet from cold sweat and my heart would be pounding. After some time, she would say, “Now come into the grocery store with me and push the cart.”

Doing all this was a great challenge for me and it was not done overnight. One by one I finally conquered each of these problems. But there were still panic attacks when I was in public.

Seeking professional help

Finally, I realized all this was seriously affecting my spiritual life, so I went to my minister. He was very helpful in counselling me on spiritual matters, making phone calls for me, and even offering to bring me food. (I had lost a lot of weight to the point where my clothes were too big.)

He told me about a church member who was a psychologist, who dealt with these kinds of problems. I counselled with him and he was a tremendous help, but since he could not prescribe medication, he also referred me to a psychiatrist.

At first, I was skeptical about taking the prescribed medicine because all I had ever taken were OTC pain meds. The psychiatrist reassured me that what he recommended would be safe to take, that it was not addictive and I would not develop a dependence on it. The only negative thing was that it might take weeks to start working.

Replacing negative thinking with positive thinking

He also emphasized to me the importance of positive thinking. He even advised me to repeat positive sentences to myself over and over again to “program my brain.” That’s in harmony with God’s Word as it certainly teaches us to regularly strive to maintain pure and positive thinking. See Philippians 4:8!

He also explained that anxiety, panic attacks and depression are often caused from trauma in the past or even in the present time. It was surprising to me to learn that anxiety, panic attacks and depression are sometimes hereditary—the tendency being transmissible from parent to offspring. Looking back, I remembered that my mother had these problems and that now my granddaughter also has the same problems.

The light at the end of my dark tunnel

After learning all this and having the encouragement and counselling from my minister, a psychologist and a psychiatrist, plus the medication and support from our brethren, I was able to overcome my anxiety, panic attacks and depression. The dark tunnel is now gone and now I have strong hope! I can’t thank God enough! He certainly has answered my prayers and the prayers of others for me.

Lessons from the story of David and Goliath

I have frequently compared my challenges with the biblical story of David fighting the giant Goliath. The very meaningful and inspiring account is recorded in the seventeenth chapter of 1 Samuel. When confronted with the terrifying enemy giant, the Israelites were terrified. You might say they had anxiety, panic attacks and depression!

When young, but brave, David learned of the situation. He was appalled by the Israelites’ fear as a result of their lack of faith in God. All David had was a slingshot and five stones from a brook. David refused to wear any armor because he had faith and trusted in the God of Israel. Notice that he did not just stand there. When Goliath approached, David ran toward Goliath! David slung a stone and killed Goliath, took his sword and cut off his head. This story of David and Goliath contains a very valuable lesson on how David faced a giant problem; he did not run away from it; he faced it and acted!

What about us? Are there Goliaths in our lives? In my case, I felt I had three different “Goliaths” threatening and paralyzing me: first, anxiety; second, panic attacks; and third, depression. However, with the help of God and people who cared about me, I continued my efforts and was finally successful in “killing” my three “Goliaths!” By doing so, I haven’t had to take any medication for years. The big positive side of all this is that I have been able to help others who have anxiety, panic attacks and depression because I have walked in their shoes.

Building confidence—you are not alone

Just remember, you are not alone in all this; there are others who experience these same problems. I would like to share another personal example with you—this one about a friend. A lady I was talking with told me that she could not drive on the freeway without having panic attacks. So, her solution was to take the back roads to get where she wanted to go. Taking the freeway would have cut her driving time in half. The way she faced and attacked her “Goliath” was to use desensitization, which is what I call taking baby steps. She studied a map of the freeway, then chose the section with the shortest distance between exits and drove that much. She repeated that several times until she felt confident. Then she would choose a longer section of freeway and drive that several times until she could drive that length without having a panic attack. You could say she was leap-frogging down the freeway. Step by step, she killed her “Goliath.” Very often, success comes when a person tackles one small step at a time.

Recommendations

In closing, I would like to give you some recommendations.

1. Put your Goliath into God’s hands and trust Him. See 1 Timothy 4:10 and Romans 8:31.

2. Read and study the biblical scriptures on hope and encouragement. See 1 Corinthians 13:7, 13 and Hebrews 6:18-19.

3. Talk to your minister; he is there to help, encourage and inspire you. My minister gave me a print-out of 15 or 20 scriptures with my name inserted into them. For example, Romans 8:31 would read: “Mel, if God is for us, who can be against us?” Hebrews 13:5 would read, “Mel, I will never leave you nor forsake you.” That exercise was helpful beyond measure! If you try doing the same by inserting your name into each verse, the scriptures will become more personal.

4. Counsel with a physician or a psychologist. They are trained and experienced in understanding anxiety, panic attacks and depression. They also know what medication, if any, you should take.

5. Seek out someone close to you—your wife, husband or a friend who will not just pity you, but who will encourage you with patience.

6. Keep praying, and ask for prayers on your behalf from your fellow church members. “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5:16).

7. Train your mind to focus on positive things and keep busy. Focus on doing projects around the house. Have a hobby like working in a flower bed or in a garden. Take walks, ride a bicycle or put puzzles together. These things can help significantly.

One more thing

When I was going through anxiety, panic attacks and depression, I made a pledge to myself that if I got over this, I was going to go out of my way to try to do what I can to cheer people up, to make people smile and laugh, regardless of what kind of day or week they were having—good or bad.

As you read earlier in this article, I did overcome my problem, and I am continuing to fulfill my pledge to try to make people smile and laugh. I know that they are not going to smile or laugh all day, but I just try to get them to smile momentarily by telling a joke or doing something kind of silly.

For example, when I was in the check-out line at Walmart, I could see that the cashier was having a bad day, so I told her a funny joke. She laughed and said, “Thank you, I needed that.” This has happened more than once. How refreshing it is to add a little cheer to people’s lives.

With God’s help, and with what is in this article, you, too, will be able to make people smile and laugh. Each time, it will be a blessing for you and for the other person!

I hope this article has helped you.

Remember what the apostle John wrote in 3 John, verse 2: “Beloved, I pray that you (put your name here) may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”