Have you ever wondered if your life is in some way less authentic, meaningful or satisfying than people whose lives have been tougher? 

We in the modern West live in an age of enormous technological achievement, incredible amounts of leisure time and highly refined lifestyles. In Nashville, where I live, if I go down to Broadway on any given Saturday night, there will be thousands of people out at the bars enjoying the live music Nashville is known for (approximately 2/3 of those people will be bachelorette parties). Most of them have smartphones with Internet connections that allow them to know the weather in Beijing and book a flight there immediately if they want.

In comparison, I think of those who live in poor and developing nations, or in places like war-torn Syria or Iraq. Or of people like my ancestors, who only 4-5 generations before me homesteaded in Nebraska in the mid-1800s. It was a hard life with hot summers and bitter cold winters. One ancestor of mine went literally insane watching the prairie grass blowing in the wind hour after hour, day after day, year after year.

Is my comfortable life less authentic than theirs? Does the fact that I wind down by sometimes playing video games make me less of a man?

Some ask this question and sell all their stuff and live in a tiny trailer; some volunteer for the Peace Corps; some join the military; some continue living normal lives, but choose to forego certain creature comforts so that they can feel better about themselves.

But most of us carry on enjoying all of this yet still wonder: Is it possible to be an authentic human being who leads a meaningful life in the contemporary West?

The answer is a resounding yes.

Because something everybody has to learn eventually is this: It’s not the circumstances we live in that make us authentic, but how we live out our calling amidst those circumstances.

The key to making your life more authentic and more satisfying is deciding who you are and what you believe, and then living that out.

The key to making your life more authentic and more satisfying is deciding who you are and what you believe, and then living that out.

There is no shortage of books, videos and TED talks about how to find your calling in life. I won’t try to nail that topic down, but there is something to keep in mind as a Christian: First and foremost, my calling is exactly the same as yours—to seek first God’s Kingdom (Matthew 6:33). Or to break it down a bit: Do good to all, especially the Church of God (Galatians 6:10); to love and care for the widows and orphans (James 1:27); to pray for the world and God’s people (Ezekiel 9:4-6); to help out my fellow man when I am able (Luke 10:30-37); and to do all this out of a love for God (Mark 12:28-34).

As part of this basic calling from God, and beyond it in other callings we have, we are each given talents and expected to use them. These additional callings will take an unlimited number of forms—from the jobs we take, to the businesses and nonprofits we may found or direct, to the countries we may travel to and the languages we learn, to the types of families we raise. The primary calling of the Kingdom of God should influence, infiltrate, permeate and direct the secondary and tertiary (and what’s after tertiary?) callings we pursue.

So what does that actually look like? How can we go about doing this day to day? Here are three ways to work toward living this ideal and finding satisfaction and authenticity in your life.

1. Learn how poisonous comparing ourselves to others is

Our doubts about our own authenticity mostly come from the value we place on the outward appearances of others. Someone I know spent a summer bailing hay. Talk about hard work. My hardest job has been collecting trash in an office building. Who’s more manly? Outwardly, my acquaintance. Inwardly, who’s a better man? That requires knowing each of us a bit better.

When it comes to righteousness, the Bible makes it clear that if someone is doing amazing, godly works, but is doing so out of the wrong motivation, they are not the more righteous for it. Good works that positively impact others are still good works (Romans 2:12-16), but someone’s spiritual standing before God is dictated by their heart. Jesus told the followers of His day to “whatever they [the Pharisees and scribes] tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do” (Matthew 23:3). Those men preached righteousness to the nth degree, but in Jesus’ words, were “like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness” (verse 27).

The point is that we can look around and see the things other people are doing, and become disenfranchised with our own circumstances, or worse, jealous. Stop doing that. Or it can go the other way—you see what others are doing and become proud of your own works. Also bad. Stop it.

2. Learn how poisonous inaction is

There’s a tricky thing that can happen when you stop comparing yourself to others: you can become self-righteous, smug and stop improving yourself. God has given you the breath you draw, and you have been born into the circumstances you’ve been born into, and He is watching to see what you’ll do with it. He has in mind who He wants you to be by the end of your life, and He will give you nudges and pokes when you need it to get you there, but in general it’s our own responsibility to do something with what we’ve been given (re-read the parable of the talent in Matthew 25:14-30). As Paul put it, “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

That perfecting process in actuality really just looks like doing stuff with your life. Like getting a job and working hard at it (which builds character). And praying every day for the widows and sick people (which builds character). And helping that one guy at church paint his deck (which builds character . . . you get the picture). And treating your wife or husband with love and respect, even when they completely exasperate you. And forgiving people at church who wrong you. And yes, volunteering your time and money to good causes.

So don’t let yourself become lax. In fact, once you’ve learned not to compare yourself to others in a wrong way, use the good example of others as inspiration and ideas for ways you can transform your own life in the service of God’s Kingdom. Find people who aren’t just doing the amazing things like traveling to Thailand to teach, but also those who are helping the widow clean up her garage.

3. Learn how poisonous overworking yourself is

Once you’re on the path to figuring things out and making progress in your personal authenticity, there is a danger that many people fall prey to around this point: If you don’t find the right balance in life, you run the risk of burnout, damaging your relationships, becoming disenfranchised and myriad other problems. I’ve known several people like this, who appear like bastions of authentic Christianity. But they never find time for their family, and their kids grow up to resent them and leave God’s way of life. Or they are so focused on doing more and more volunteer work, their job performance suffers and they get fired. Or they do so much for so many other people all the time, that they come down with a major illness from the stress they take on.

All of these outcomes are symptoms of never finding the right balance in life. And this is where we circle around to the questions we raised in the beginning. Does having a comfortable life make me less of a man than my ancestors who scraped out a living on the plains? Not at all, presuming I am engaged in the worthy pursuit of the Kingdom of God above all by balancing my leisure time with God’s calling, just as they had done.

Speaking of leisure time, I do try to strike a balance between consumptive and productive hobbies in my life—that is, creating vs. consuming. And I try to make sure I’m finding productive hobbies (sewing, writing, playing music) to balance the consumptive ones (breaking out the PS1 to replay my favorite game growing up for the 30th time, surfing the Internet, watching Netflix). Both can add to overall life satisfaction, and can provide well needed rest that will allow us to keep up the highest pursuit—the Kingdom of God—first and foremost. But finding balance means that gaming, or woodworking, or watching Netflix, can’t take over our thoughts and leisure time ahead of anything else.

Anybody can be an authentic human being, whose life is a genuine article of who they are and what they believe. Just because we have a comfortable life doesn’t mean it has to be less satisfying or meaningful than someone who is or was uncomfortable. But it does mean that we need to ensure we’re finding the right balance in our lives, with the worthy pursuit of the Kingdom above all.