Have We Moved from a Thankful Generation to the Entitled Generation?

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Have We Moved from a Thankful Generation to the Entitled Generation?

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While shopping in a grocery store a few weeks ago, I was going down an aisle and noticed a family coming toward me with their cart. One lady was being pushed in a wheelchair. So I pulled my cart over to one side to let them pass. It was a small thing, but I was a little surprised that they went on by without even a glance toward me or a thank you. How many of you can relate to a bad experience of ingratitude shown to you, when you carefully picked out a gift for someone and the receiver of the gift don't even bother to send a thank you card or an acknowledgement?

Well, a few weeks later, I had another experience at the same store that was quite different. I was looking in the frozen food section when a young man who worked in the store came up to me to see if there was any way he could help me.

I asked him about the price of the pie I was looking at. He said I needed a savings card to get it at the sale price. Then he told me he would get me a card and even check me out at his lane. So I followed him to the service desk, where he filled out the information for me and then rang up my groceries. I received the savings I needed. I was warmed and grateful because of the time he took to make it easier for me.

If you are like me, you are normally so rushed in life that even taking the time to fill out information for a savings card can be taxing. The store clerk took the time to help me out and, by doing so, made my life just a little bit easier. Still, since we're so busy, it's so easy to take that service for granted and think, "Well that's his job; he is paid to do that." How many times have I overlooked the opportunity to say "thanks"? But this time, I gave him a big "thank you"! He certainly received my gratitude for being so helpful.

Are we living in the last days described in 2 Timothy 3:1-2 ? There we read, "But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy."

Have we become a society of demanding complainers, lovers of ourselves, instead of being thankful? In Romans 1:21 we also see, "Although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened."

Causes of ingratitude

In looking into God's Word and deep inside myself to see some of the causes of ingratitude, I found some disturbing things. I found that ingratitude is actually a mark of immaturity. Unhappiness in some people is caused by ingratitude about who they are or are not, what they have or do not have, or what they do or do not get to do. Being thankful, on the other hand, just makes us feel better inside. A cure for unhappiness is being thankful.

Ingratitude has its roots in pride. Someone who is not thankful thinks he should have had more. He believes he deserves better than what he has, or he believes he alone is wholly responsible for all he has.

I had to consider whether I had an outlook that expects things from God just because I am a Christian and trying to obey Him. Do we overlook gratitude and think He should be giving us what we feel we need and deserve?

In Colossians 3:17 we read, "And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Psalm 100:4 states, "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name."

It is hard to be thankful when we are going through a trial and feel God is not giving us what we feel we deserve. How many of us feel we deserve a trial? Turning our thoughts to others and away from what we are going through helps to make the trial more bearable. Others need encouragement and gratitude shown.

Appreciation and a kind smile can lift a person up. By saying "thank you," we tell others they are valuable and we appreciate what they do. Giving thanks keeps bitterness and hatred from taking root in us. Everyone was created to contribute something. By giving thanks, we begin to see them from God's perspective and appreciate what their potential and worth is. Being thankful not only lifts us up from our own despair, but it also lifts up others. Being thankful is also a way to let our light shine in a very dark and gloomy world.

Parents, are we teaching our children to be thankful? A few weeks ago I was walking in a store parking lot. I noticed a father holding the hand of his small child and helping him across the drive through. The father instructed his son to look both ways, then go, but then told him to wait as a car was coming. The car stopped to let them go across. The father reminded his son to say "thank you" to the person who stopped to allow them to cross. How many of us adults take the time to say "thanks" to the cars who are letting us cross?

As parents, do we set the example, in front of our children, of showing gratitude? But most of all, not only by our own example, but teach them to be grateful. "By learning gratitude, children become sensitive to the feelings of others, developing empathy and other life skills along the way," says Barbara Lewis, author of What Do You Stand For? For Kids: A Guide to Building Character (Free Spirit Publishing, 2005). "Grateful kids look outside their one-person universe and understand that their parents and other people do things for them; prepare dinner, dole out hugs, buy toys." "On the flip side, kids who aren't taught to be grateful end up feeling entitled and perpetually disappointed," says Lewis. Wow, this must be the "missing link" that is causing an entitled generation, the lack of gratitude.

Research on gratitude has found that gratitude has a profound affect on a child. By being truly thankful for all that life provides, a child has more of a chance of being emotionally, physically, and socially successful. And teenagers who are taught to be grateful are less prone to depression. Why? Because they don't feel entitled. Mary Jane Ryan, author of Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life (Conari Press, 1999 )stated, "Recognizing that someone has gone out of the way for you is not a natural behavior for children; it's learned." So we must teach our children to be grateful!

Suggestions to help your children and you be more thankful and grateful

1. Let them see your example of gratitude. When people do nice things for you send a card of thanks and allow your child to see it. Allow your child to see you show gratitude to others.

2. Encourage your child to say thanks when you do nice things for them, like taking them to sports activities, school activities, cooking a meal for them. Don't let them take the things you do for granted!

3. Encourage them to send out cards themselves when nice things are done for them. Perhaps send a thank you note to a teacher, or grandparent. Taking the time to do a handwritten note or card, by them, sent through the mail is priceless to the receiver. Encourage them to not take any kind deed done for them for granted. And it just feels good to send appreciation out for a kind deed.

4. Have a time each day to ask them what they were thankful for that day. And you also share with them what you were thankful for that day.

5. Thank your kids daily for something good or an act of kindness they have done. Even on bad days try to find something good to thank them for.

6. Have them from time to time write out a list of things they are thankful for. As adults that is also good thing for us to do.

7. Most of all, teach them to be grateful to God daily, for all the good He does for them. 1 Chronicles 16:34 states, "O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting".

Yes, gratitude in the heart lifts your spirit and the spirit of others. So put it into your daily practice and teach it to your children.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NAS) states, "In everything give thanks; for this is God's Will for you in Jesus Christ".

With that said, thank you for reading this article!

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Comments

  • Janet Treadway
    It is so true concerning our children today. Parents run themselves ragged tying to give their children things and opportunities that they did not have when they were growing up. Teaching children to not take those things for granted and to not take their parents for granted is vital. I also grew up with very little so every nice gift done for me is priceless. I also wonder about parents who are divorced, are they so guilt-ridden that they try even harder to give their children "things" "opportunities" to make up for the divorce. I have known parents that try to become their children friend instead of being the parent. Nothing wrong with giving them "things" that will benefit their life as long as it is building character and not entitlement. The greatest gift you can give your child is to teach them character starting with gratitude. Making them aware that things done for them is an act of kindness and not expected. Teach them to be grateful to God, grateful to their parents, grateful to their grandparents, and to all those around them that makes their life so much nicer. Teach them to give back. I wonder if encouraging them to serve more in the community with less focus on their needs would also make them acquire more gratitude for what they have? Taking them to serve in a homeless shelter where children live who has no home, or to a children hospital, where children are dealing with health issues, might help them to feel less entitled and more grateful for the home they have and the health they have?
  • jledbetter07
    Thanks for this important article. Its something I think about a lot as a parent of 2 young children. I printed out the 7 tips to help reinforce gratitude in our children - thanks for sharing those! It seems like as parents we are often tempted to give our children more "stuff" and do more for them just because we can which can feed their tendency to take it all for granted. When I was growing up we were very poor financially and I was thrilled to get any new toy or little trinket and they were few - but I didn't feel poor - I was happy with my few mostly shared toys and truly appreciated and enjoyed them. Today parents who have more financial means have to DECIDE where to draw the line in giving children "things" and doing things for them - that can be so difficult to do. We have to withhold some things in order for our kids to be able to appreciate the things they do have. Parenting children to become servants of God and man - its not for the faint of heart for sure.... Thanks again for the helpful post.
  • Janet Treadway
    Thanks Derek, your comment is exactly what I needed today. The wording was perfect. Funny how God knows exactly what we need and inspires someone else to say it. :-) And Juma, I have also been concerned with how society treats our seniors. The lack of respect, the lack of remembrance of our seniors contributions go hand in hand with ingratitude. Anyway, "thank you" so much for your comments.
  • Juma
    .... Great article Janet.. As a senior, I too see ingratitude and disrespect everyday.. Common courtesy seems to be a dying trait now-a-days.. But, once in a little while I spot a gracious act and I give thanks Because it restores my faith and it makes my day.. Thanks for your message..❤
  • Derek Strauss
    Excellent topic! Being in an attitude of thankfulness from the moment you wake up in the morning to the moment you close your eyes at night, really brings JOY and PEACE into your life. Thanks, Janet, for this reminder!
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