Two Most Common Relationship Mistakes
A classic book that attempts to help men and women understand each other is Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus by John Gray. Though it can sound a bit stereotypical (in a humorous sort of way), it does point out some general differences that can be good to know.
For instance, Dr. Gray summarizes the two most common mistakes we make in relationships this way:
"1. A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr. Fix-It and offering solutions to her problems that invalidate her feelings ['you shouldn’t feel that way...'].
"2. A woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming the home-improvement committee and offering unsolicited advice or criticism [that makes him feel incompetent and broken]” (pp. 23-24).
These kinds of tips can be helpful, but there's some foundational information we really need first. It's in a book by the one who created marriage in the first place, and it's summarized in the booklet mentioned below.