When I was in eighth grade I had a black and gray tank top with a little flower on the front. During the late 90s and early 2000s it was in style to wear a spaghetti strap tank top with a button-up shirt, unbuttoned over the tank top. I wore my favorite tank top a lot with a black buttoned up shirt over it, since that was the style. Sure, my shoulders were covered, but there was still a problem with this shirt. It was too low-cut and showed a little too much.

At 14 I thought it was fine and that I looked cute in my little tank top. But my mom had a very different idea about this piece of clothing. My mom told me that it was too low cut and that I shouldn’t wear it. Against her words I wore it anyway, and I wore it often. Eventually my shirt randomly disappeared. I have no doubt that my mom probably decided to throw it way.

Why is it important for us as women to listen to our parents when they tell us something? I didn’t listen to my mom. I probably rolled my eyes and just didn’t care what she had to say. But looking back I see how important it was for me to listen to her words and not just because I wouldn’t wear a shirt like that now as an adult.

One of the Ten Commandments in the Bible (Deuteronomy 5:16) is to honor your father and mother. I did not honor her in a correct way. She is older and wiser and knows the importance of dressing modestly.

Modesty is not just about honoring your parents. There are other aspects as to why it is important to dress modestly. One is having respect for yourself. This is about you. It might be nice at first to have a lot of attention from the opposite sex or even the attention from parents who are telling you to change your clothes. But both of these can become negative. The guys who are giving you the attention are focused more on your body then on you as a person. Your parents’ attention can become negative if you are not listening.

But it’s not just about you either. We don’t want to put anyone in the position of giving us negative attention, and we should not want to put any guys in the position of stumbling themselves with impure thoughts. And these same ideas of modesty go for men as well. They should dress modestly—which encompasses no showy displays of wealth or anything that would cause somebody else to be offended, as well as taking physical attractiveness into consideration as well. These are all true but should not be our main focus when it comes to modesty.

It’s not about us all wearing the same thing, it’s about choosing clothes and accessories that reveal who we are more on the inside than what is on the outside.

You might still be thinking, “I don’t care if I show a little skin here or there.” Well there is one more important being in your life you must think about before choosing your outfit. Think about how you can honor God in what you wear.

Paul wrote, “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God” (1 Timothy 2:9-10).

God’s focus is on how we adorn ourselves. He does not want us to be flashy. Being flashy is both wearing elaborate accessories and baring too much skin. It’s not about us all wearing the same thing, it’s about choosing clothes and accessories that reveal who we are more on the inside than what is on the outside.

“She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms...Strength and honor are her clothing” (Proverbs 31:17; Proverbs 31:25) The rest of Proverbs 31 focuses on the virtuous woman’s works, abilities, strength and righteousness.

When you go to your closet to get dressed in the morning think about how you can honor God. When you do choose to honor Him you will in turn honor your parents and show respect for yourself and others. And remember these words from Proverbs 31:31: “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates.”