I have a piece of artwork, in the form of a candleholder, called the “Circle of Friends.” It is a sculpture of tribal men hovering over a fire, arms locked together. The symbolism is that they represent each “family,” arms locked together supporting each other, forming an interwoven group that protects the “fire” burning in their midst.

It is only when we allow ourselves to be touched by the genuine concern and affection of others that we can learn how to truly reflect that same character and become a friend ourselves.

The other day I heard a radio preacher saying that friendship has to be given away. What he was saying is that being a true Christian, one who shows love to others, is exemplified in our having friends and being a friend to others. The first step to being that friend is to give of yourself. Not in a tell-all, expose-your-vulnerabilities way, but by allowing others to be a friend to you. Doing for others can be easy—it’s when you have to allow someone to do for you that you can learn about the “circle of friendship.” Sharing your life with others can be difficult. But it is only when we allow ourselves to be touched by the genuine concern and affection of others that we can learn how to truly reflect that same character and become a friend ourselves. Giving of ourselves, sharing our time, investing our emotions—this reflects true friendship.

John 15:12-14 (New International Version throughout): “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.”

Maybe we hesitate because we are insecure with ourselves, or we fear rejection or emotional injury. Maybe we are using a measuring stick to judge others, or ourselves, that isolates us based on how everyone measures up. Sometimes we make assumptions based on experiences, previous encounters, rumors or appearances. This can greatly limit us. We should examine ourselves and try to find what is keeping us from expressing and sharing the love that God and Jesus Christ have expressed to us.

John 15:14-15: “You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

We need human interaction. Some people need communication, some require physical touch. For others, just being around people is enough to make them feel loved. As brethren we should be reaching out to each other, expressing our love to one another. We should be making an effort to know each other’s needs. What would make a brother or sister feel loved? Once you have this answer, make it happen. This is how God says we will be known, by our love for one another.

John 13:34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

It is easy in our society to be enveloped in our work and daily activities, and forget to build the strong friendships in faith that will—if allowed to grow in a loving and godly manner—encourage and strengthen us. God instructs us to build bonds that endure hardships and disappointments and that share in the joys and blessings, as they will, in the end, strengthen the entire body of Christ.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Point of Grace performs a song called “Circle of Friends.” Its lyrics reflect this attitude of friendship (words and music by Douglas McKelvey and Steve Siler).

We were made to love and be loved
But the price this world demands will cost you far too much
I spent so many years just trying to fit in
Now I’ve found a place in this circle of friends

In a circle of friends we have one Father
In a circle of friends we share this prayer
that every orphaned soul will know
and all will enter in
to the shelter of this circle of friends
If you weep, I will weep with you
If you sing for joy, the rest of us will lift our voices too
But no matter what you feel inside there’s no need to pretend
That’s the way it is in this circle of friends

In a circle of friends
We have one Father
In a circle of friends we share this prayer
That we’ll gather together no matter how the highway bends
I will not lose this circle of friends…

Friendships take effort, and it is sometimes difficult to know how to get started. There are many ways, but here are a few suggestions:

* Spend time getting to know each other.
* Have meals together.
* Go on outings together.
* Talk to each other.
* E-mail or write one another.
* Talk about something that happened at work this week.
* Share a joke or funny story.
* Have friends to your home.
* Meet at a park.
* Go for a walk.
* Pick up a gift or item that reminded you of them or something you think they would like and give it to them.
* Pray for them.
* Laugh with them.
* Make time for them.

I am sure that you can think of many other ideas to add to this list. Taking these concrete steps can help us build relationships. We need to build friendships that will strengthen and unify us as the body of Christ. We need our “Circle of Friends.”