A 29-year-old police officer whose wife is pregnant with their first child is shot on the streets of New York. For days his life hangs in the balance. He lives, but the shooting leaves him a quadriplegic.

A young woman in Texas is brutally raped, beaten with a hammer, stabbed and left for dead. She lives, but the incident leaves her emotionally devastated.

A 7-year-old Cleveland boy lives through the mysterious murder of his mother. His father is arrested for the crime and convicted in a sensational trial that gains national attention. Ten years later his father is freed from prison after the real murderer is located. But irreversible damage has already occurred. The boy’s childhood is over, his family shattered.

The victims in these three unrelated stories have more in common than having suffered tragic, brutal crimes. All three of them have been able to regain control of their lives by learning the power of forgiveness.

It has been said, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” According to new studies, forgiveness also provides a vitally important dimension of human life, especially for those who have been victimized by life-changing tragedies.

Social benefits of forgiveness

The effect of forgiveness on social and interpersonal relationships is obvious. In marriage and families, on the job and at school, forgiveness can mend relationships torn asunder by destructive words and actions.

Forgiveness has widespread social applications. Realization of its value has led to the development of the restorative justice movement, which initiates conferences between crime victims and jailed perpetrators. More than 300 such programs are now in effect throughout the United States, including a million dollar religion-based juvenile justice initiative in Florida.

Forgiveness and health

Recent research and examples such as those related above have shown that forgiveness also promotes emotional and physical health of victims. On the other hand, holding on to bitterness, hatred and desire for revenge can cause serious emotional and physiological problems that compound the suffering of the victim. Those who nurture these powerful emotions fail to realize the damage they are bringing on themselves. As one person put it, “Holding on to anger is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die.”

A leader of an uprising against the Warsaw ghetto described the bitterness remaining in his heart concerning how he and his neighbors were treated by the Nazis. “If you could lick my heart,” he says, “it would poison you.”

Researchers are discovering this statement may be literally true. Social scientists are learning forgiveness can help restore emotional and even physical wholeness to suffering victims.

Recent research on the benefits of forgiveness

As recently as 1980, virtually no data existed on the subject of forgiveness. The prevailing trend in counseling and psychotherapy has long been “the talking cure.” Victims were encouraged to talk about their experiences, but the element of forgiveness was lacking. So the suffering usually remained.

In 1984 theologian Lewis Schmedes wrote Forgive and Forget. This book caught the eye of social scientist Robert Enright, who was seeking to apply the biblical concept of forgiveness to social problems. Enright sought support for a program to teach forgiveness to prisoners, reasoning that by learning to forgive others they might seek forgiveness from their victims. For years his attempts were scorned and dismissed.

After 10 years of persistent effort gaining little attention or financial support, an article in the lifestyle section of the Chicago Tribune injected his efforts with new life. As a result of hundreds of phone calls, Enright and his wife began publishing a newsletter, set up a Web site and continued publishing findings of studies and research projects probing the value of forgiveness. This gained the attention of other researchers. Ironically, the world-renowned Mendota Mental Health Center recently approached him with an idea for rehabilitating prisoners by teaching them forgiveness—the same idea that Enright sought to promote years earlier.

Enright has since founded the International Forgiveness Institute (IFI) as “a source of promotion and dissemination of the most important research in the world on the topic of forgiveness.”

Research on forgiveness has continued to gain momentum, catapulting forgiveness out of its native Christian setting into the mainstream of scientific research. As stated in an article in Time magazine, “there is not only a religious impetus to forgive but also therapeutic, social and practical reasons to do so. This applies to victims of crimes as well as to those who must deal with... more common misfortunes—unfaithfulness, betrayal, ungratefulness and mere insult. In the past two years, scientists and sociologists have begun to extract forgiveness and the act of forgiving from the confines of the confessional, transforming it into the subject of quantifiable research... In short, to forgive is no longer just divine.”

According to the Time article, “A number of psychotherapists are testifying that there is nothing like it for dissipating anger, mending marriages and banishing depression. Just a few years ago, says Robert Enright, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin and a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness, most secularly inclined intellectuals ‘trashed it; they said, “Only wimps forgive.”’ But now, Enright says, ‘psychiatrists, M.D.’s, scientists, lawyers, ministers and social workers can all be on the same page. We are really on a roll’” (“Should All Be Forgiven?” by David Van Biema, Time, Jan. 23, 2001).

“The field is just exploding,” says Virginia psychologist Everett Worthington, director of the Templeton Foundation Campaign for Forgiveness Research, an organization distributing $5 million to scientific studies on forgiveness.

Health benefits of forgiveness

Funded by a $75,000 Templeton grant, a forgiveness laboratory has been set up at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. The Time article reports that Dr. Charlotte van Oyen Witvliet finds “robust physiological differences” between nonforgiving and forgiving responses.

“Subjects’ cardiovascular systems inevitably labor when they remember the person who hurt them. But stress is ‘significantly greater’ when they consider revenge rather than forgiveness. Witvliet suggests that we may be drawn to hold grudges ‘because that makes us feel like we are more in control and we are less sad.’ But interviews with her subjects indicate that they felt in even greater control when they tried to empathize with their offenders and enjoyed the greatest sense of power, well-being and resolution when they managed to grant forgiveness. ‘If you are willing to exert the effort it takes to be forgiving, there are benefits both emotionally and physically,’ she concludes” (ibid.).

By letting go of hostile, vengeful feelings and allowing God to deal with wrongdoers who have hurt us, we can move beyond our hurt to live happy, healthy lives.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Joseph Neuman of East Tennessee State University is currently engaged in a research project seeking to learn more about the link between forgiveness and physiological health. Neuman observed, “When I treated patients with cardiovascular diseases, I was struck with how many were bitter, angry and depressed. It clearly affected their health and their ability to heal.” His experimentation seeks to document the cardiovascular benefits of forgiveness. “Theologically speaking, forgiveness is an Act of God,” says Neuman. “In terms of health care, forgiveness could save your life.”

Forgiveness and addiction recovery

On another front, the Forgiveness for Addiction Treatment Project, also funded by the John Templeton Foundation, has established an addiction treatment program based on forgiveness. Very positive results are anticipated in their treatment summary:

“It is expected that, as a result of participating in the intervention programme, clients will experience improved ability to value and accept their offender(s), which will contribute to a gradual replacement of an attitude of ill-will and malevolence with an attitude of good-will and benevolence. In this connection, depending on the degree of client progress, the inner experience of forgiveness can potentially be expressed behaviourally in terms of pro-social behaviour and altruistic action... We expect that victims who are successful at forgiving their perpetrators will experience relief from the cancer of bitterness (anger, anxiety and depression). This reduction in negative emotionality, should, in turn, result in a richer experience in awareness and fuller expression in behaviour of ‘Divine Grace.’”

What forgiveness is not

An important part of this treatment philosophy “assumes that forgiveness... be experienced and expressed in full realisation that an offender’s actions may not merit such benevolence.”

The “forgiveness” spoken of by these researchers does not depend on the attitudes or actions of the offender. Neither does it imply denying, condoning, excusing or condemning them. It does not demand justice or compensation. Forgiveness is not equivalent to, nor does it require, reconciliation. The IFI explains forgiveness as “one person’s moral response to another’s injustice.” Reconciliation involves “two parties coming together in mutual respect.”

Many make the mistake of assuming forgiveness should be extended only if the offending party apologizes and makes amends for his or her actions. But, in order to experience the benefits of forgiveness, the victim must be willing and able to let go of resentment whether or not the perpetrator seeks or deserves to be forgiven. Otherwise, the victim remains at the mercy of the guilty party and continues to suffer from what the program calls “the cancer of bitterness.” This can include mental and emotional turmoil and even degenerative diseases. According to Dr. Glen Mack Harnden, forgiveness “releases the offender from anger, rage and stress that have been linked to physiological problems, such as cardiovascular diseases, high-blood pressure, hypertension, cancer and other psychosomatic diseases.”

What forgiveness is

Clinical psychologist Everett L. Worthington Jr. offers this definition of forgiveness: “Forgiveness is when an individual who’s been hurt or offended decides and practices giving up his or her desire to avoid the person who hurt him or her, or giving up the desire to exact revenge on the person, and also to seek reconciliation between the two people, if it’s safe and possible” (“The Practice of Forgiveness,” by Robert Owens Scott, Spirituality & Health Newsletter).

Many researchers offer this twofold definition: “Forgiveness is releasing the other person from retaliation and wishing the other person well” (“The Forgiveness Factor” by Gary Thomas, Christianity Today, Jan. 10, 2000).

The definition of forgiveness offered by the International Forgiveness Institute involves an integrated approach of thought, emotion and behavior. “It is a response to an injustice (a moral wrong). It is a turning to the ‘good’ in the face of this wrongdoing.” Their definition also includes: “Merciful restraint from pursuing resentment or revenge. Generosity or offering good things such as attention, time, remembrances on holidays. Moral love or contributing to the betterment of the other. It is the foregoing of resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer’s actions deserve it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not deserve them.”

In short, forgiveness is an unconditional gift to someone who does not deserve it.

Forgiveness in the Bible

What these men have articulated is stated simply and eloquently in many passages of Scripture. In the Sermon on the Mount, the cornerstone of Christian teaching, Jesus tells us to “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you...” (Matthew 5:44).

The apostle Paul advises, “Ask God to bless everyone who mistreats you. Ask him to bless them and not to curse them... Don’t mistreat someone who has mistreated you... Don’t try to get even... If your enemies are hungry, give them something to eat. And if they are thirsty, give them something to drink... Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good” (Romans 12:14, 17, 20-21, Contemporary English Version).

These admonitions undoubtedly appear unwise, unwarranted and unfair to a non-Christian. Even Christians have viewed this in terms of a unilateral obligation. Lewis Schmedes observed that “human forgiveness had been seen as a religious obligation of love that we owe to a person who has offended us. The discovery I made was the important benefit that forgiveness is to the forgiver.” Schmedes believes “untold pain is brought about in the world by people’s unwillingness to forgive and the corresponding passion to get even” (“The Forgiveness Factor”).

Forgiveness is not easy. But it is the best way for all concerned. By letting go of hostile, vengeful feelings and allowing God to deal with wrongdoers who have hurt us, we can move beyond our hurt to live happy, healthy lives.

The greatest example of forgiveness

Mark Harnden believes “forgiveness is the core, [the] most significant factor in both spiritual and psychological healing.” Forgiveness is also at the core of the gospel. If you have difficulty forgiving someone, consider the debt of sin that God has forgiven you of when you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.

In Matthew 18, Jesus tells us how to deal with someone who “sins against you.” He enumerates a three-step conflict resolution process followed by forgiveness. Macho Peter apparently found difficulty with the concept of forgiveness. He asked, “How often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21). Peter probably reasoned that he could grit his teeth and utter words of professed forgiveness seven times if he knew after the eighth incident, he could take actions to get even. But, Jesus told him forgiveness must be not only unlimited. It must also be from the heart.

Jesus, the Master Healer, offered His live for the forgiveness of all the sins of all mankind forever. Never did He seek vengeance, in word or in deed.
To put the matter into a spiritual perspective, Jesus told a story of a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. One of his servants who owed a great sum of money pleaded with the king for mercy. The master was moved with compassion and forgave him the entire debt, whereupon the forgiven servant demanded repayment from a fellow servant that owed him a very small sum of money. The debtor was unable to repay, and begged him for mercy. Instead of extending the mercy he had received for a much larger debt, the unforgiving servant had him thrown into prison. When the king found out, he was furious. “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” The king then rescinded his original forgiveness and demanded full payment from the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:23-34).

Jesus concludes the parable with the warning, “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses” (verse 35).

Biblical perspective on forgiveness

This is how important God considers forgiveness. The point is not whether or not the other person is worthy. Forgiveness is a fundamental quality of godly love that seeks the ultimate good of everyone.

The IFI definition further explains forgiveness as going beyond the call of duty by the “overcoming of wrongdoing with good” to offer “a freely chosen gift (rather than a grim obligation).” The definition correctly promises, “As we give the gift of forgiveness we ourselves are healed.”

Forgiveness is fundamental to healing—physically, emotionally and spiritually. Jesus, the Master Healer, offered His life for the forgiveness of all the sins of all mankind forever. He set the perfect example of forgiveness to His dying breath. Never did He seek vengeance, in word or in deed (1 Peter 2:20-25). Instead He prayed regarding those who crucified him, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34).

Jesus knew most people do not realize the full consequences of evil. He also understood the evil potential of the human heart yielding to hostile, vengeful emotions (Mark 7:20-23). He wanted no part of the damage, for Himself, for His followers or for anyone else.

As Christianity Today concludes, “...for international, national, and even personal issues, researchers are finding that a practice taught by Jesus Christ two thousand years ago may be our most effective tool and response.”

To make certain we remember the importance of forgiveness, Jesus instituted a most meaningful ceremony to commemorate His death for our sins. As we partake of the symbols of bread and “the cup,” let us remember the magnitude of God’s forgiveness and seek to practice forgiveness in every aspect of our personal lives. Let us learn, practice and benefit from the power of forgiveness.

Long before restorative justice gathered steam, Aba Gayle, 65, learned to forgive and to let go.

In 1980 her daughter Catherine, 19, and a male friend were stabbed to death on a pear farm near Sacramento, Calif. Virtually disabled by what she called a kind of temporary insanity, Gayle attended the sentencing of Douglas Mickey as he received the death penalty for the killings. She left the proceedings “horrified” that such a sentence could be imposed so matter-of-factly. Yet when Mickey's execution date was set, she asked for a seat as a witness, hoping to be able to see him pay for her daughter's death.

Then one night in 1992, Gayle wrote her daughter’s killer a letter. “It just flowed,” she says. She told him she forgave him and was willing to visit him. “The instant the letter was in the mailbox, all the anger, all the rage, all the lust for revenge disappeared,” she says.

And Mickey wrote back. He told her that what he had done was an “unspeakable burden” to his soul. He said that if he could undo the night he killed Catherine and her friend, he would gladly give his life. Since then, Gayle has visited Mickey several times and corresponded with him regularly...

Gayle sees herself as a spark for smaller mercies. “People think, ‘If she can do that, maybe I can forgive my sister for what she did to me or my brother-in-law or mother—or whomever they’ve been holding a grudge against all these years’” (“Should All Be Forgiven?”).

If you would like to learn more about the subject of forgiveness, please contact us at our website www.ucg.org to request free literature concerning this and other important topics of the Bible.