I remember hearing those words the summer that I turned 12 years old, while attending church camp in northern Minnesota. All the campers, counselors, and staff were in the gym for an assembly and one of the ministers there was reminding us that the next morning marked the celebration of Father's Day.

The minister spoke about the relationship between he and his father, as well as the relationship between he and his son. I can't remember all of the specifics anymore, but I do remember that he spoke of regrets. He ended his message by playing a recording of the song In the Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics over the gym speakers. That song combined with the minister's message remains etched in my memory today.

Being away from home and family as a young teen for a couple of weeks had a way of making me miss those things I took for granted, in particular my Dad. As I reflect on that experience from a decade ago, I sometimes wonder if I'm slipping back into that taking-what-I-have-for-granted mode. Am I truly making the most of my living years in terms of the time I spend with my Dad?

It is sometimes difficult to appreciate what we have in the present. Our level of appreciation has a tendency to increase after what we had has been taken away. The song, In the Living Years, urges us to make a conscious effort to stop that tendency. The words of the chorus are so poignant in reminding us to verbalize our appreciation for one another and to take the extra effort to resolve misunderstandings that may exist.

Say it loud; say it clear.
You can listen as well as you hear.
It's too late when you die,
To admit you don't see eye to eye.

 

As Father's Day approaches this year, the date is a reminder to me to make sure that both my words and my actions reflect the love and appreciation I feel for my Dad. Sometimes it is difficult to verbalize our feelings for someone. It may be easier to buy something which symbolizes the words we would like to say or to believe that our actions alone clearly represent our unspoken words. However, being the human creatures that we are, we need to hear the words and see the action.

The last verses of the song speak of the songwriter's regret.

I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years.

 

My resolve for this year is to make a conscious effort to let my Dad know (not only on Father's Day but also throughout the year) that I really do love an appreciate him. Life is short and we do not know for certain what each passing day will bring. Please join me in the effort to avoid the regret that can come from not making the most of the time we have with our Dads. There is a message in the song. Sing it!