Loneliness—that uncomfortable feeling of being alone, often when you are in the company of others—brings with it a dark sadness that can become profound and deeply disturbing.

God's people not immune

Far from being immune to loneliness, the Bible shows that many of God's people have struggled with this negative emotion. For instance, having lost all but his own life, Job expresses his sense of loneliness when he is accosted by his friends whom he calls "miserable comforters" (Job 16:2).

After God gave Elijah a miraculous victory over the 450 prophets of Baal, the wicked queen swore he would be killed. He journeyed 40 days and nights to Horeb where he succumbed to his discouragement and loneliness. Hiding in a cave in the desert, he told God he felt as if he were all alone in the world, the last surviving servant of God (1 Kings 19:9-15).

Both Elijah and Job expressed the feeling that they did not want to live any longer (1 Kings 19:4; Job 3:11; 10:18; 14:13). Elijah and Job were both fueled by fear and uncertainty. They may not have doubted God, but the loss of human support brought strong feelings of despair.

It is helpful to remember that Jesus Christ Himself knew true loneliness when His followers forsook Him at His arrest and crucifixion.

My bout of profound loneliness

In the past, I experienced my own bout of profound loneliness in spite of the great support of loved ones surrounding me. I have many relatives, including four children and 13 grandchildren. I have many friends. But after my wife Joan's death, one day epitomizing my loneliness stands out.

It was Sept. 28, 1984. I was in Vienna that night on the first anniversary of Joan's death. I had been coping quite well and enjoying my first trip to Europe, but on that night I was in a small wine-tasting room in a small pub, and though there were people there, I felt very much alone. I could not share my thoughts with anyone else. I felt isolated in the midst of others. It was not a nice feeling, I must admit. Thankfully, I had the reserves and support to bounce back quickly—but that experience gave me a glimpse into that forlorn state of mind and how to counteract it.

Counteracting that dark cloud

Since loneliness is a state of mind that develops under various circumstances, we can and should control those circumstances to our own benefit. Self-control is vital to ongoing good health. Inaction is a fuel to the flames of loneliness. Combating the negative is good for us. Taking control of our lives is the essence of living. For instance, people have formed clubs for the lonely. Lonely people are reaching out. That can be healthy and positive.

Combating loneliness may not be easy. Social graces may be lacking, but they can be learned. Self-improvement courses can really work. There are countless others who are just as lonely—looking for relief. Going to places (such as church social activities) where we can get to know people is a conscious act of taking control.

Too often, we follow the "natural" path that Elijah took—walking alone in the desert, kicking rocks and looking for a cave. Everyone will feel the cloud of loneliness from time to time. Those who set out to do something about it may be learning far more than they realize. John 15:12-15 reveals the exciting words Jesus spoke when He stated that He would call His followers "friends." Not only that, the Bible tells us that humans were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26). We have the potential to be His children and inheritors of all He has created (Romans 8:17)! The result for God and Jesus will be a large, happy family and countless friends! Loneliness will never exist in His family. What a wonderful gift He offers to mankind! It is worth every effort and all our energy to attain.What can we do when we feel that dark cloud of loneliness overhead? God created us to need one another. In Genesis 2:18, God states that "it is not good that the man should be alone." There are many scriptures showing God's instructions to prevent loneliness. The whole book of Ruth and other stories and regulations God gave deal with the situation of widows and orphans. James 1:27 was written many years ago to address the interaction of people in God's Church. God tells us that "pure religion" means visiting the fatherless and widows in their distress. This group can be some of the loneliest among God's people.

Of course, a visit will uplift them. But reaching out to help others in need can also help dispel the loneliness we all feel from time to time. All Christians have the responsibility to aid and support one another. We can choose to act for the sake of others and ourselves.