The old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," may be good in theory, but in real life it doesn't work.

"Stupid!"

"Why aren't you more like..."

"What were you thinking?"

Ever heard these cutting words used in reference to you? Ever remember using them against someone else? We may think we are motivating people to better behavior. But we are not using our words in love to instruct. No one enjoys being insulted whether or not the verbal jab is intended.

This act of rudeness... was this how God sees me? Was I a headstrong child wounding others with my words?

Recently, I attended a meeting of my mothers' group. My daughter and her friend were playing with two little girls. They all played together for about fifteen minutes when suddenly there was dissension in the ranks. My daughter and her friend wanted to play "hide-and-seek," while the other two did not. I heard my daughter's voice from a few feet away.

"You're driving me nuts!"

I whirled around and directed my sternest, "How could you? Stop that right now!" gaze at her. I immediately asked her where she had heard those words and instructed her, in no uncertain terms, that she should not say them to her friends.

After we discussed why we shouldn't insult others, I sent her on her way again to play. Then the realization struck me that I was chastising her for something I had done myself just recently.

The week before had been unbearably hot. As temperatures soared, the sticky and oppressive July weather magnified my frustration at being cooped up in a house for many days with an energetic three-year-old and our newest arrival, only ten weeks old. My patience and tolerance ebbed to an all-time low.

I glimpsed a reflection of myself in my daughter's words and attitude. I also glimpsed something else. This act of rudeness...was this how God sees me? Was I a headstrong child wounding others with my words?
God's Word speaks about words which hurt. "Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Proverbs 12:18 NRSV). Two things stand out in this verse. Rash denotes haste or not thinking of what we say. And sword thrusts convey piercing or cutting into something. We can cut and destroy with our words.

Imagine a piece of cold, hard steel jabbed through our skin into our inner bodies. This word picture of the piercing of a sword aptly describes how purposefully cutting words can tear and destroy.

My daughter's actions started me thinking of how my words should be chosen more carefully. God wants us to choose our words wisely. Children are so impressionable. One instance of discouraging feedback may stay with a child the rest of his life.

God provides a tremendous service to us through our children. He allows us to see how He views us each and every day. We can recognize our own shortcomings and the flaws we need to overcome. What a truly wonderful gift!

The next time you hear someone use cutting words realize you have most likely acted in a similar manner, either to your own child, your spouse or a friend. Let's set a better example. Let's think before we speak.