We live in a society that places a high degree of importance on physical appearance. Television, movies, magazines and billboards all display attractive people. We see men and women (more women) running to plastic surgeons, having many different kinds of procedures done simply to enhance their appearance. Our society is obsessed with physical beauty, and many women are caught up in that obsession as well.

But should beauty really be that important for a woman? Is beauty something that a Christian woman should strive for? What makes a woman truly beautiful?

A woman can and should be beautiful—God designed her to be that way. Her skin, hair and other features were created to be soft and appealing, and her body was fashioned to be attractive and beautiful to men. A woman was designed to be attractive, and most women want to be beautiful. However, the physical side of beauty is just a small part of what makes a woman truly beautiful.

Our society places a high emphasis on the physical aspect of beauty and neglects the other elements that really make a woman totally beautiful. A beautiful woman is not just physically appealing; she is appealing in many different areas. Because our society so largely emphasizes the physical nature of beauty, I want to explore with you all of the areas that make up true beauty and bring out the missing dimension in beauty.

Outer beauty

A truly beautiful woman is physically appealing. Not all women are gifted with perfection of physical features, but fortunately, this is not the only prerequisite for beauty. Women tend to take a critical look at their individual features and flaws and feel this is what makes them attractive or not, whereas a man tends to look at the overall impression a woman creates. What a woman does with what she has is very important in making herself attractive. Physical beauty is really within the reach of any woman.

The most influential factor in a woman’s physical beauty is her health. When a woman is healthy, she has an attractive glow about her. Good health adds more color to the face and skin and helps produce more energy. A balanced, nutritious diet and exercise plan will help a woman to have this healthy glow. It will also help to keep excess weight off and produce a more attractive physique. When a woman is striving to follow the health laws she looks and feels more beautiful.

Another key factor of womanly beauty is looking feminine. A woman should look like a woman, not a man. A woman can achieve this through her dress and hairstyle.

The Bible says women’s hair should be longer than men’s. This doesn’t mean she has to wear it down to her ankles, but it should be long enough to differentiate her from a man. Most women enjoy choosing different hair styles and fixing their hair. A woman’s hairstyle and length can contribute to her attractiveness.

A physically attractive woman is also one who dresses modestly. Our society teaches women to flaunt their physical attributes by displaying scantily clad women on billboards, magazines and most other media outlets. Many women feel they must also dress this way to be considered attractive. This is not true. A fully clothed woman dressed in a modest, feminine way is very attractive. She is not only attractive, she gains honor and respect from those who see her. A woman’s body is designed to be attractive and arousing to men, and when a woman is revealing too much of herself in public, she is stirring up the wrong kind of feelings and will attract the wrong kind of attention. A truly beautiful woman aims for respect in the way she dresses.

Inner beauty

A beautiful woman is not only admired for her physical appearance; she is admired for her inner qualities as well. There are many inner qualities that make a woman beautiful, and to cover all of them would require a separate article. However, I want to focus on three important inner qualities a woman should possess to make herself truly beautiful.

A woman should be kind—she should be gracious. Proverbs 11:16 tells us that a gracious woman retains honor. When you think of the women that you hold in high regard, they usually are ladies who are kind, gentle, thoughtful, unselfish, etc. They are the women that we look up to and remember. In Proverbs 31:26, a virtuous woman is described as having the law of kindness on her tongue.

Bradley Gerstman, Christopher Pizzo and Rich Seldes, in the book What Men Want, write, “Women are astonished when we tell them what many professional men look for in a woman on the first date—besides chemistry, of course. Are you ready to hear what men hope to find in a woman they are dating for the first time? Men like women who are nice. Men are suckers for kindness and consideration. We love women who are affable, flexible, easygoing. Most men cannot resist a sweet woman” (page 68). Women who are gracious and kind are attractive.

A woman should also have good judgment. In Proverbs 11:22, a lovely woman who lacks discretion is compared to a ring of gold in a swine’s snout. If a woman is physically attractive, but lacks discretion, it takes away from her beauty and value. Good judgment is needed in many areas of life such as moral issues, money matters, choices, decisions, dealing with others, work, etc. A woman who possesses good judgment is of great value because she can be trusted to do the right thing.

A woman should continue to grow and better her inner self. Proverbs 31 describes a woman who is competent and capable of doing many different things. A woman who continues to grow while developing her talents and abilities is a woman of value. She is one who is able to contribute to others through these abilities, and she will be of use to her family, Church, community, etc. A woman who is developing her potential is an attractive woman.

Beautiful to God

A truly beautiful woman is not only attractive on the outside and inside, she is also attractive to God. How a woman looks to God is more important than any other quality she possesses because one day her outer beauty will fade and her inner beauty will cease, but the beauty that God sees in her will be important when she stands before Him. Being beautiful to God should be top priority on every woman’s list. The Scriptures give us some clues as to what God finds attractive in women.

God values a quiet spirit in a woman. As 1 Peter 3:3-4 tells us, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” Does this mean that a woman should never say anything—that she should always be quiet? No, this is saying that a woman should not have an argumentative, contentious spirit. She should not be someone who is quick to argue and demand her way. She should be peaceable to others and respectful to her husband. There are several scriptures in the book of Proverbs that talk about women who are angry and contentious, and how difficult it is to live with them.

There is a certain attitude among some women that has its roots in the feminist movement and is still prevalent among certain segments of society. This attitude is a deep anger toward men. These women want to prove that they are just as good as their male counterparts, and that they don’t need them. Contrast this attitude to the gentle and quiet spirit that God values in women. A truly beautiful woman is not in competition with men—she understands the value and strengths that they possess and appreciates them. Women and men both possess certain qualities that are needed by one another. When a woman has a gentle and quiet spirit, she is attractive to others and to God.

A truly beautiful woman is not in competition with men—she understands the value and strengths that they possess and appreciates them. Women and men both possess certain qualities that are needed by one another.

God values a woman who is submissive. “Submissive” is not a popular word in our society today. Many people think of being submissive as being weak. Yet, God has commanded women who are married to submit themselves to their husband’s authority. This does not mean that a woman should never have an opinion or say in what takes place in the family. A wise husband will consult his wife on all important issues. A woman who submits herself to her husband is a woman that understands and is yielding to the government that God has established in the home (Ephesians 5:22-32). It is not a sign of weakness when a woman submits to her husband, it is a sign of strength. It is a sign that she is in fact submitting herself to God and is obeying the commands that He has established. It is a sign of her faith in God. When a woman submits to her husband’s authority in marriage, she is beautiful to God.

God also values a woman who fears Him. When a woman is putting God first in her life and is striving to do what He has commanded, she is attractive to God. She should continue to deepen her relationship with Him and continue to grow spiritually. Proverbs 31:30 reads, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”

Our society places a high value on the physical beauty of women, but it does not understand all of the elements that make a woman truly beautiful. If a woman possesses only the physical aspect of beauty without the inner and godly qualities, she is a hollow and empty shell.

It is within every woman’s reach to become the beautiful woman God intended her to be. She should be beautiful on the outside, beautiful on the inside and, most importantly, she should be beautiful to God.