If God Knows I’m Hurting, Why Doesn’t He Help Me?

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If God Knows I’m Hurting, Why Doesn’t He Help Me?

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In the midst of some of life’s more grievous trials, our mind often finds itself fixated on one seemingly unanswerable question:

Why?

When our lives begin to come apart at the seams or we’re faced with a pain that feels unbearable, it’s almost impossible to not ask why. We want to know why God would allow something this terrible to happen to anyone, especially if He is the loving God He claims to be.

It’s at times like these that it becomes more important than ever to understand God’s purpose for suffering. The prophet Zechariah was inspired to write of a time of great trials to come, when the human race will be subjected to suffering it can’t yet begin to comprehend. In that description, we find why God allows us to suffer:

“I will bring the one-third through the fire, will refine them as silver is refined, and test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘This is My people’; and each one will say, ‘The Lord is my God’” (Zechariah 13:9).

God doesn’t enjoy letting us hurt. He is a loving God who wants the best for each of us. He allows trials and suffering to occur in our lives for one purpose only—because it’s sometimes through the difficulties and the pain that He can take and shape us into the best we can be.

There’s much more to be said on the subject, and you’ll find links to more detailed answers below. But the key is this: If you’re hurting, it’s not because God has given up on you. He loves you. He’s willing to be there every step of the way, if you’ll let Him. The apostle Paul—a man who had been shipwrecked, beaten, stoned, whipped, jailed and subjected to countless other torments—had this to write about the difficulties of this life:

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death?… I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:35, 38-39, New Living Translation).

God loves and cares deeply about you. No trial will ever change that.

For more understanding, please read our booklet, Why Does God Allow Suffering.

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Comments

  • hoffwein

    My heart goes out to all of those who have written in on this topic, as I too am still going through extreme suffering these last 30 years. Yes, it seems as though the individuals who have perpetrated such evils, verbal abuse, and total rejection are "getting away with it." It has been very rough going, and those who offer "advice" don't know what they are talking about, as they have not really "been through anything" significant and many times seem to be the ones who offer patronizing comments of "quasi" understanding. This just makes the situation worse causing a person to not trust and to all but shut down altogether. But, I would like share and validate what Skip Miller mentioned about being proactive in finding and implementing solutions. Giving up, being inactive, and looking at our circumstances as the way it will always be results in more depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-mutilation of our mind and hearts by turning to drugs, alcohol, immoral behaviors, etc. which makes matters worse, like a hamster on the wheel going nowhere! Satan loves it - don't give him what he wants! Three steps forward - two steps back = progress. As Joshua said, "be of good courage"!!

  • davert123

    This is a difficult topic. I came here like a lot of people looking for possible answers. I have suffered most of my life. I was physically abused when I was young, became alcoholic and suffered pain though this until God saved me 20 years ago. Since then I have had a few days of happiness but most of my life is suffering. I seem to suffer most when I seek God and have the most pain inflicted on my when I show unconditional love or act with integrity. It has got to the point that the pain has become too much to bare and it is affecting me mentally. I can't understand how God punishes/tortures his children while supporting evil self centered people so they thrive. The only recourse I have is to doubt my own judgement and I trust that God will one day end this excursion into hell and it will have all been for good. Until them I am expecting that my tomorrows will be as horrible as today and my personal hell will be there when I wake up after a couple of hrs of sleep interrupted by my knowing anticipation of whats to come. I do feel like I am in the Good Place mk 1 :-/

  • Mewt

    I am at this point as well. I am beginning to think that God is actually cruel. Why would he make so many promises and deliver so little. It seems that life hurts more if you follow him than just leave without him and this does not make sense at all to me. Why does God let horrible things happen to those who worship him and follow him, why does he not protect and shield us. why repeatedly do i have to suffer and hurt so that other people have joy and success - why do i have to look a fool always for following God. we are told to wait, but how much waiting honestly. it seems God doing his word about regarding his promises is all about waiting for things to come in the future and the time never really comes. his so quick to condemn wrong but never able to to actually do anything about the hurt we feel and go through. i am begining to believe the non believers, something is wrong with the bible, with God, with our beliefs - it doesnt add up

  • Skip Miller

    Hello Mewt, I have not suffered as much as you, but I have suffered. And I did something about it. So can you. Here is the SHORT answer: find someone, anyone, who is having a REALLY hard time and help them. You can do it through any of the organizations that UCG lists or you can just go to an organization you know about near where you live. OR, you can simply go to someone else who is HURTING and help them. There is no other way to remove your personal pain and suffering! Sorry, if this seems too simplistic.

    My friend, one of our publications states that the world we live in, controlled at the present by Satan the devil, will get even worse. But no matter how bad things get, if you WILL help at least one other person, God will reward you NOW. You want relief? Give it to one other.

  • jjas

    So God wants us to suffer because it's how he shapes us? He loves us SO MUCH that we must suffer to know it? Most people don't become the "best they can be" through suffering- most become miserable and faithless. If there were actually many honest, upright people on this planet, then I might believe that suffering was for our best interest; but there aren't.

    Most human suffering is inflicted by other humans, and it is rooted in malice. A good parent would intervene and stop one child from harming another, but God doesn't: he allows the harm, and even rewards those who inflict harm with greater power, wealth, and resources during life.

    For a Being that is pure "love", it sure sucks being his pawn in life, knowing that my only purpose is to suffer through his endless trials til he's proven to me he "loves" me. And the only hope for true joy comes AFTER death. The "gift" of life is a cruel joke!

    What was the point of Jesus suffering if he was gonna turn around afterward and say "now you suffer too!"?

    "God doesn't enjoy letting us hurt". I don't believe this for a second. God doesn't help us overcome oppression- in fact, he seems to mostly help those who DO the oppressing.

  • Gadarene

    When she gave thanks for the fleas, Corey ten Boom realized they kept the prison guards out of their barracks so that they could share and study the Bible freely.
    I always feel better when I reach out to someone in more difficult circumstances than I face.

  • jeff_s

    Or it instead of it drawing us nearer it drives us farther away. At some point the trials become too much and destroys any sense that God is good and loving. Sometimes He's just mean.

  • JCgarcia0494

    I agree with you Jeff J Scott. I once lost my faith with God when my prayer for my grandmother's healing was unanswered but i tried to trust him and begin to praise him again but after how many years another unanswered prayer for healing happened.

  • smstiny

    My God, My God - why have your forsaken me? That is exactly how I feel. I want to believe that God will stop this suffering, but once one illness stops another begins. I am tortured by parasites, live in a bed bug ridden room in a building that should be condemned. Since i had to move here I have gotten sicker and sicker. Others that stay here have the same complaints. I was forced here = moved 3 times in 5 months before i wound up here. I am mentally disabled. Today my pharmacy told me that they will not give me my medicine there anymore i have to get it in the town i live in. It is a narcotic, and i believe that they did that so that they will cut me off and i will go threw such illness and seizures that I could die, i have nothing but medicare and no money for rehab - I need that medicine to keep me normal I have 5 different mental disorders. I do not - can not think that next month i will not have my medicine and how scared I am - no friends or family to help. I could die in this room and no one would know or care. I also wake up daily bitten up lice bed bugs in everything, clothing the lot. I look like i have leporasy . I have been thinking of suicide.

  • Lena VanAusdle

    Oh Susan, I am very sorry that you're dealing with so many difficulties. I know it is hard to see it, but you are not alone. I hope that you will take Skip's advice and seek some help from your community. And please, don't commit suicide, please call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255

  • Skip Miller

    Hello Susan,
    I would like to know where you are that you cannot ask for help? There may not be many but there are some. The Salvation Army exists in most cities. Get up out of your mess , and find the organization that exists and ask them for help. Please.

  • rwp_47
    That's the same question Jesus asked (in principle). Only he asked it this way ... My God! My God! ... why have you forsaken me? And then he died. To say he was hurting would be a colossal understatement. So why wasn't he helped? Because it was for that very cause that he came into the world ... its the reason he was born. To suffer and die. How can that be? Rev4:2 "..., a throne was set in heaven, and one sat on the throne." This is the Father. Rev5:1 "And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals." What is this book? Its the future ... the future that returns God's kingdom to the earth and replaces Satan's and creates the God Family ... of which you may be a part. But there was a problem. A question is asked: Rev5:2 "... Who is worthy to open the book, and to loose the seals thereof?" Who is worthy to Captain this future? And the answer was ... no one. That being the case you can kiss your life and your salvation goodbye. John wept over this. But - "... one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof. And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne ... stood a Lamb as it had been slain. It was this same Jesus. He had to suffer and die to become worthy to open the book. He had to become the perfect captain. And before the suffering he experienced he wasn't the perfect captain. For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For - Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him; You are one of those sons. And like him ... you too have to be made perfect through sufferings. So when the correct answer for your best interests is to provide no help ... then that's the answer you get. And the result of you enduring those trials is sterling character and eternal life ... as a very son of God ... in the Kingdom of God that Jesus made possible ... because he was willing to endure his trials. So embrace your pain in your trials ... because it leads to eternal life.
  • mimireco
    Well mine has lasted 69 years and still praying. I am very angry with God! My entire life gone down the drain and I am the only one in the family that had faith and believed in the Lord. Other family members dis-inherited me and mock me but they live very well.
  • smstiny

    I am so sorry , I share similar situation. And i try so hard to have faith but I too am beginning to think that God either doesn't care or doesn't exist. I feel sad to say this and pray i am wrong. Your suffering seems lifelong. And when i read your post it sort of confirmed my conclusions.

  • Skip Miller

    Hello again Susan,
    I see that you have compassion for others. That is very good! But as I said, you need help and the fellow you were writing too needs help as well. I am not just saying this but at times we need to admit we are lost and then go to someone who has the ability to actually help us.
    I'm not sure where you are but the city I live in would kill your bed bugs, clean you up and set up some rules for you to follow. If you did this they would let you live there for a year. I say again, find out what is available where you are.

  • Cathy M.

    This subject is very personal to me. I suffer from a series of painful issues, from chronic migraines and fibromyalgia to joint ailments and TMJ, broken bones not set properly, and spinal issues that have degenerated over time. Those, plus injuries suffered in my youth have caused me to become disabled and, most days, leave me homebound.

    I try to keep the suffering at a physical level because it can become a greater one if I allow it to affect my mind. This is where God's spirit enters the picture. Christ also suffered for us. He set the example, as did others in scripture. When we suffer, we actually share this experience with Him! Those who suffer patiently due to no fault of our own, we can become acceptable to God, for we grow in character. Our shared experience allows us to communicate with our Father in prayer and meditation on a deeper level, for we can start to relate on a greater level with more understanding. Our pain becomes a shared one. We begin to realize that we really do have an Advocate and a Mediator in Heaven; Christ really does know how we feel. We start our journey together, walking in agreement (Amos 3:3) because we can talk about it and our prayer for others who suffer takes on greater urgency, compassion and empathy for we walk in their shoes as we join their journey. No one walks alone. We can become Family.

    Our physical bodies only temporarily house the real us. The purpose of our physical suffering is to reach upward and grasp the spiritual meaning of our existence. Seeing beyond the here and now is what got Christ through His torture and death, and He teaches us to do the same.

    I read a wonderful book by ViKtor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning" which describes his survival of unbearable suffering and loss as a survivor of Auschwitz and Berkenau. He found a deeper purpose, something spiritual and deeper beyond the present--there is always a future to live for. We, by the grace and mercy of God, know what that future is--and we are reminded that this physical suffering is temporary, no matter how it feels. It, too, shall pass. Living this belief is faith in action.

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