Why Doesn’t God Hear or Answer Me? Why Do I Have Unanswered Prayers?

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Why Doesn’t God Hear or Answer Me? Why Do I Have Unanswered Prayers?

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The apostle Paul was a man who could have concluded that God doesn't listen to people. After all, he urgently pleaded with God to intervene for him in a chronic trial. But God refused to grant Paul's request.

Does this mean Paul lacked faith? Of course not. However, there is a deeper lesson for us in Paul's life of living faith.

When Paul pleaded with God

Notice Paul's account of this trial: "There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me" (2 Corinthians 12:7-8, New International Version).

What was this trial that tormented Paul? Comments in Paul's writings hint it may have been a problem with his eyes (Galatians 4:13-15; Galatians 6:11).

The implication is that Paul fervently asked God to deliver him from the trial, no doubt with fasting and heartfelt prayer (2 Corinthians 11:27). He wanted this hindrance removed so he could continue to spread the gospel effectively and care for the congregations God had raised up.

God's answer to Paul

Paul could have concluded that God had not heard his pleas. But this is not the case. God simply gave Paul a different answer: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Whether God directly spoke these words to Paul or whether Paul gradually came to this understanding of God's will isn't clear from the Greek wording. What is clear is that Paul came to a deeper spiritual understanding that strengthened his faith and commitment.

Paul came to see that the credit belonged to God and Jesus Christ rather than to himself and that his weakness drew him closer to that source of power and strength. "I am therefore happy to boast of my weaknesses, because then the power of Christ will rest upon me. So I am content with a life of weakness, insult, hardship, persecution, and distress, all for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (1 Corinthians 12:9-10, Revised English Bible).

Of course, Paul's experiences were not typical of what most modern Christians experience today. Along with his great trials, he also witnessed great miracles and evidence of God's power. Still Paul's "thorn in the flesh" stands as an important spiritual lesson for us. Sometimes when we experience unanswered prayers, God's answer for us is actually "no" or "not yet." God never intended our physical bodies to last forever. He has allotted us an existence of about 70 years (Psalm 90:10). He is far more concerned that we develop righteous character and a trusting relationship with Him that can last for eternity. He wants to resurrect us to eternal life in a glorious, immortal spirit body not subject to weakness, illness and death (1 Corinthians 15:40-44; 1 Corinthians 15:50-54).

In the meantime, Paul understood that God in His love will never allow us to fall into trials greater than we can endure. "But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13, NIV). Sometimes that "way out" is simply the determination to endure the trial, to "stand up under it."

Hearing God's will

Paul was not the only one who learned that living, trusting, abiding faith is more important than physical health and long life. Even Jesus, knowing that He faced a cruel death only hours away, prayed, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me" (Matthew 26:39). Jesus loved life and wanted to live as much as any of us. But He acknowledged a greater purpose for this physical life: "Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done" (Luke 22:42).

Jesus Christ, the perfect example of faith, knew God's will was more important than His.

God knows what is best for us in the long run, even if it may conflict with our short-term wants and desires. As Peter tells us, "[cast] all your care upon Him, for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). Paul says we should be "confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6). Because God works within us from a broader perspective to build faith and character, He doesn't always answer our prayers in the way we desire.
Some were delivered, some not

The Bible tells us at times "women received their dead raised to life again." But "others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment… And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us" (Hebrews 11:35-40).

Even when we have unanswered prayers, know that God does listen. He does not always answer our prayers to our immediate satisfaction and instantly deliver us from our trials. But He will always do what is best for us.

For more understanding please read our Bible study aid booklets Why Does God Allow Suffering? and You Can Have Living Faith.

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Comments

  • JRay

    Look I believed I followed the the rules. I have been praying and looking and working for this one big life changing goal for 37 years. I have yet to achieve it. I have looked different places, worked different work all the while believing ONE DAY god will see fit to grant his favor. every time the works are done every time the goal is present some one else steps in and grabs it or is awarded it. Many time they have not done the work and are clearly not believers. This have have stared to believe this is all a lie. If not I need prof and not from some book or person who is going to spout the same crap. If there is a god I need him to slap me in the face and say this is why I denied you. I am old now and at the and people in my family only live five to ten years longer. Time is running out. This last time I truly in my heart Knew it would come about my pray was thank you please let it be now, I saw signs that told me it was true. But again out of the blue the reward was give to some one else. I had just got finished with my prayer when I got the surprise notice. Now either God is a lie or he doesn't care or he revel in toying with me. Otherwise at least he would answer WHY?

  • Blessed2Bme

    Read 11Corinthians 12:7-9... Paul had a "thorn in his side, the messenger of Satan" that caused him to remain humble although God was using him mightily. Paul asked God 3x to remove this thorn but God answered " My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness". It sounds as though you're angry with God for not giving you your dream. Refocus your dream and energy to being content wherever you are and begin to ask God what HIS plan for your life is. Ask Him to open the doors he wants you to walk through and continue to close the ones that may have harmed you. You will find more happiness, peace, joy unspeakable than you ever thought possible. Trust me, I've been where you are. God tells us that he "knows the plans He has for us, to prosper us and not harm us". He isn't a genie that grants your wishes but a loving father that will guide us into all truth...if we will let him. Don't be angry. Be thankful that sometimes the best answer to our prayers are NO.

  • Skip Miller

    Hello James,
    I can say no more (or better) than what was written in the included short article.
    But I will state a personal experience. Someone I know and love has had your experience.
    They are HAVING your experience. They pray; I pray; but the experience goes on! Why?
    I talked to my wife about this. She thought about it before she answered. Then she said to me,"Maybe that is going to BE their life. Maybe that is what God is asking them to live?"

    So think about that. Maybe you are never going to get exactly what you have been asking for. And maybe others are going to keep getting what you really deserve.

    The article is worth rereading. But I have a suggestion. After reading it, search through your list of friends and acquaintances and find one that just does not have quite as much (whatever) as you do. And then go to themand make them happy, some way. Just do it.

  • Lena VanAusdle

    Hi James, I guess the big question, is what reward are you talking about? God does care, but He cares most about your spiritual well-being; what are you asking for? What reward are you seeking? Because He wants to give you eternal life, and if what you are asking would conflict with His goal of eternal life, He's not likely to grant it.

  • Gene and Lucretia

    Trials!!! I feel that we must be Thankful for our trials. Some we bring on ourselves, some we have due to others mistakes, but we are to use them to bring us closer to our Father. Jesus, went through His life here dealing with trials and died. What about His earthly parents and God the Father in knowing that He would die for our sins. He stayed close to His Father through prayer and set us an example for us to stay close to our heavenly Father. I have had prayers answered and it helped to increase my faith, other prayers have not been answered but I have put them there to be answered as His Will is for me. I asked God to help me except His answer for sometimes the answer is not what we wanted but again, when we pray, are we asking God to show what He wants us to learn from the trial. Our trials are to help us learn a spiritual lesson, look at them and ask God to show us what we are to learn. One trial that I feel may affect some of us is our children and the roads they take in their lives, pain and hardship and we pray for relief, but we seek for the strength to be strong and build our faith and trust in God and pray for God's Kingdom to come

  • Ivan Veller

    Dear Denick,

    In Psalm 90, Moses asks, “Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble…come back to us! How long will You delay? Take pity on Your servants! Satisfy us each morning with Your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good. Let us, Your servants, see You work again; let our children see Your glory” (Psa. 90:1, 10, 13-16; NLT 2015).

    God answers: “‘I have certainly seen the oppression of My people in Egypt. I have heard their cries of distress…I am aware of their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them…Now go…lead My people Israel out of Egypt’” (Ex. 3:7-10). “I will bring down My fist on Egypt. Then I will rescue…My people…with great acts of judgment. When I raise My powerful hand and bring out the Israelites, the Egyptians will know that I am....’ So Moses…did just as the [Eternal] had commanded them. Moses was eighty years old, and Aaron was eighty-three when they made their demands to Pharaoh” (Ex. 7:4-7 NLT).

    Moses “was 120 years old when he died…as strong as ever” (Deut. 34:7 NLT).

  • Denick

    God never intended our physical bodies to last forever. He has allotted us an existence of about 70 years (Psalms 90:10). Also according to heb 6:18 it says God does not lie. If trully this is the time God has for man, why do people die at 100+ years. Most of the Psalms correlate to the books of Moses. Is it possible that this verse was talking of when the Israelites were in the wilderness ? Num 14

  • Skip Miller

    Hello Denick,
    When God said "three score & ten" that was just a round number.
    Remember that the very next sentence said (and I paraphrase)
    or "if by strength you live till 80..." still physical beings will sometime die!
    You are absolutely correct! Man was not made to live, physically, forever!
    I think the world's record is not even 130. But several (not many) attain 100+.
    I don't understand the connection to Numbers 14. What did you mean?

    Skip Miller

  • Denick

    Dear Skipp Miller,

    Thanks for your reply. I connected Psalm 90 to Numbers 14 because Psalm 90 is a psalm written by Moses. It was a prayer from Moses to God and it depicts the likely situation the Israelites were in when they murmured against God.

  • Skip Miller

    Thank you Denick ,

    There is so much information in Num 14 that I still do not see what exact point you are making. (But I want to, so tell me exactly!) We know that Miriam and Aaron and Moses all lived about 120 years and Joshua died at about 110. Perhaps you mean that "wilderness" people tended to live longer lives and I guess that is a possibility but they , like us, live or die as God commands. I'm 74 now and starting to feel a little 'old'. Does that help?

  • Singam

    goodday I have read the above stated comments and have tried to align the responses in order to get some perspective as to why I searched the question "what do I have to do to get god to hear me"! my life is in utter turmoil and due to such, innocent people including my wife and 2 kids, together with my family are experiencing the wrath of my predicament.
    I have lost everything be it as you see materially and spiritually. I have only been strong due to my faith that he is all powerful! and I feared nothing! I never cared for evil as I served a powerful god as that was my thinking.
    when I started my freefall I acknowledged it but never accepted cause I knew the power behind me, it has been 2yrs that I have tried everything to get up and each day is been a beat down. A prophetic meeting had indicated that there was evil done upon me but still I had faith that I should not fear as he is all powerfull. I am now reduced to begging and I stress day to day wondering from where will my help come from, the bible say "it will come from Zion" for some reason I don't think my pray and begging for mercy goes that far. please can someone tell me what can I do to get the king to hear me

  • Lena VanAusdle

    Singam,
    I am so very sorry to hear of the trouble that you are experiencing. The truth is, God is powerful, much more powerful than any evil you may encounter, but evil is real. Trials arise in our lives for various reasons. Sometimes they are a result of our own actions (consequences for sin); and sometimes God is trying to help us grow in a particular way.
    The truth is, God hears and answers our prayers, but sometimes we assume He hasn't because we haven't received the answer that we want. And sometimes He says we ask amiss, we're asking for the wrong things (James 4:3). When you pray you should seek for HIS will to be done (Luke 11:2; Luke 22:42) , not your own.

  • peacefulman
    Firstly, i'm sorry for my bad English writing cause i am a french speaking person. I read a lot of comments where i recognized some parts of my life. I've been waiting desperately years for god's answers, or any god's sign who could lead me to an answer without nothing in return. I see the world as it is now, and some of my reactions was : "Why god didn't made something ?" thinking about the situation in some middle east countries where children are mass murdered by hate. Is there something with the time of god ? Not at all ! There is no waiting in these situations and knowing the principles on how we should say our prayers is a total nonsense on what we see now even in our own countries. So, i began to have doubt on god, and it lead me to my perception of god. In my own perception, God isn't a big king with a gray beard, frowning and waiting for his revenge on Evil while answering some prayers when time is set for them. God isn't a answering machine for each and everyone of us. God is Life, God is Love and God is Peace within ourselves and everywhere outside ourselves. When situations begin to be so painful that we are living hell on earth, and still does now, i think that it's time to stop this spiral of worries, pain, and obsessional thoughts in our minds. It's time to redefine how we see this world no matter how ugly it is. Without understanding and narrowing everything, may we start to accept what it is now without the need to understand everything ? Just for a while, only at this very present moment. It will not pay our debt, it will not make our business getting better. It will give us a time to see what we forgot until now : Our families, our children, little children, wives, friends, these peoples that we love and cheer. It will let us know that if we don't have any idea of what the future will be, it's a nonsense to plan a future who still doesn't exist except in our minds. I know it is easy to say, it's not a unique truth for each and everyone of us. Our truths is not a God in the sky or by living by waiting in pain, our truth is to find peace in ourselves, to share it with everybody, our truth is to find love in our hearts, and to love the best we can. Our truth is to know that the more we give the more we receive. That's the way i think now and i'm still someone who falls and get up from days to days.
  • freshrevelation1
    My name is John Mabuya, God does answer prayer but sometimes it takes very long time before we receive what we ask for, I was born in Mozambique and grew up in South Africa, in 2010 I lost my job and in 2012 my house was accidental burned in Mozambique with my furniture and everything I had bought, I been suffering a lot but kept believing God that one day he will answer my prayers. and today I started building a new 3 room house as I want to take my family back to Mozambique to preach gospel full time, I will never give up on God and I believe that one day my trials will end. Therefore I want to advice anyone out there who is facing challenges to keep on praying and God will see you through. Brothers and sisters God does answer prayer
  • jeff_s
    How can God say with a straight face that He loves us when He knowingly places us in a life that He KNOWS will be more suffering than enjoyment? And He did it without our consent!
  • Denick

    The Lord hasn't placed us in a life of suffering. We are chosen for a reason and that is to overcome this world. There is no overcoming without trials or suffering. One can definitely not compare eternal life of power and enjotment to a few 100 years of suffering which is actually interspersed with a few bouts of happiness. The Lord sometimes gives us such trials because he has faith in us. Take a cue from John 2:25b

  • soulsearcher
    I too am facing difficult situations. My health is bad, can't work properly to take care of myself or family, have marital problems and more. It seems like I'm caught in a vicious cycle. There seems to be no way out, I try and don't get anywhere. Unlike most of the folks on this site, I live in a small poor country in South America, called Guyana. You have access to all kinds of organizations that may be able to help, I don't have that here. I ask the same questions and get no obvious answers. But is God really silent? Are we really listening? Sometimes we rail up against God and blame him for our troubles, when our own folly, mistakes and sin may be causing our problems. Regardless of how we feel, God is Sovereign, he doesn't make mistakes, he has a plan even though it seems like there is none. God doesn't operated according to our thoughts, feelings, anger etc. Let's be careful in what we say about him when things are black, hopeless and confusing, lest we speak foolishly. We don't have the mind of God, and cannot understand his ways, we are finite, God is infinite. We can't fit the oceans into a teacup, similarly so we will never be able to understand his ways. Absolute trust in His love, mercy, kindness and faithfulness is necessary at all times regardless of WHAT we are going through. Read the story of Lazarus and let God speak to you through it. Read what Jesus said and how he reacted to news of Lazarus's sickness. It is story of desperate people in a desperate situation, but Jesus knew what he was doing.
  • soulsearcher
    Many sound answers, but they don't seem to offer any immediate help in all the trying, difficult, painful, worrying, heart wrenching situations that folks have written about. I believe that almost all of these situations could be become bearable and change would happen if the church would really fulfill it's job of caring for the suffering, perplexed and discouraged in the church. In my experience most Christians don't show the care, concern and love that they should be showing. The world is a selfish place and it seems like the church isn't much different. Every suffering person has a relationship with God and to be responsible for themselves, but we all need each other help, comfort, friendship and PRACTICAL HELP, the nuts and bolts kind of help, pouring oil in the wound. Where is this in the church of Jesus Christ???? ¿¿¿¿¿
  • rwp_47
    "Love my Faith" ... hi I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss and the continuing pain its causing you. There are some losses that I guess we never really get over ... we carry them always (at least until we experience the joy of our resurrection). In one respect though it sounds like you were very fortunate actually in that not everyone is blessed with a happy, loving marriage ... as you evidently were. I don't know if this will be of help to you or not but its something you might think about. I retired about six years ago. And of course we've all heard how some find retirement difficult ... and many actually go back to work because they can't seem to learn how to be retired. One has to learn how to retire (its something that must be learned). While there is no magic formula, I've discovered that doing things for others greatly empowers one's ability to be happy. In my own case ... I like to do woodworking. Its just something I enjoy doing ... but I couldn't do it as a job. Its a hobby. But since retiring I've found myself making things for others ... jewelry boxes, equipment carrying cases, foot stools, benches, and other such things. It wasn't something I had planned to do in retirement ... it simply has turned out that way. When working in my career I never had time to do such things (it wouldn't even have occurred to me). But now I do. Retirement affords me the opportunity to do this. And what I've discovered in the doing of it is that it powerfully affects one's life in happy purposeful way. It actually plays a big part in making retirement happy. Now of course you likely don't do woodworking ... but we all have our talents. And I'm sure you do too. I'd recommend harnessing your talents in a similar manner. I think if you do you'll be surprised at the positive effects it will have in your life. It makes the scripture that says it is more blessed to give then to receive come alive and take on real meaning ... it just becomes more than mere words on a page(or a mere platitude in a book). Its like the difference between reading about how to ride a bicycle as opposed to actually going out and doing it. Its the difference between night and day. Anyway ... its something you might want to consider. It has had a transforming effect in my life ... I have no doubt it would in yours too.
  • rwp_47
    I'm not living high on the hog so it must be God's fault - my business isn't doing well so that must mean God's not taking proper care of me and he's not answering my prayers - I wanted to be the prom queen but Martha was made queen instead - how can I believe in God after that? - I felt that God was wanting me to invest my life savings into trying to fit this square peg in that round hole ... but it turned out it didn't fit and now I'm embarrassed and broke ... how can I rely on God now after he did such a pathetic job of taking care of me? I'm not sure I wouldn't be better off without him! Really people? ... really? What if it turns out that God is actually the one causing your problems - that he's actually intentionally bringing the problems on you?! What would you think then? You don't think that could happen? Then evidently you never read the book of Job. Somehow you missed how God bated Satan into making job's life unbearable. Talk about business failure - everything he had was wiped out - his children were murdered - and more! I mean stop and think about it. Who was responsible for that? Who caused it? Didn't God set the entire thing up? And think about this - you think you'd like to trade places with Job? Or Jesus even ... would you like to trade his human life for yours? Is that how you'd like to end up - crucified - spit on - hated? But don't we look on these men and these stories with reverence? What exactly do we think is going on? Maybe we didn't see the sign - you know - the one that said: "WARNING ... GOD AT WORK!!!!!" And I don't say these things to minimize our problems or to be unsympathetic. Because trials can be heart crushingly hard. But we need to get a grip - and understand - its not about us and what we want - its about him and what he wants. Remember - "... all things were created by him, AND FOR HIM." [Col:1:16] And you're one of those things. He wasn't created by you for you. The very moment you forget that - you're problems begin compounding and you loose your way. So don't forget it - and work hard and intelligently at solving your own problems. Because there's really no helping the willingly and stubbornly irrational. Don't tempt God by knowingly making bad decisions and expecting him to save one from them. That's a bad plan.
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