Feeling like you do not belong or are left out of events and activities is truly a frustrating feeling. While some people are content to have very few friends and spend much of their time alone, most of us desire friends and want to be included in what's happening. We like to be included in the conversation and the "action" of whatever is occurring. At our United Youth Camps we make a point of including everyone in dorm life and activities. Our counselors do a wonderful job of getting each dorm to "blend" as a unit and live that week of camp as a true team and "family away from home." If you have not attended one of our camps, we heartily recommend you do so.

This one-week experience at camp has helped many young people make wonderful friendships with peers as well as adults in the Church that last a lifetime. The Bible has a lot to say about the benefit of friendships such as, "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24) and that friends can help us up when we're down and vice versa (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

Sometimes people don't accept others because they don't know them very well. Mixing around and spending a little time with everyone in the group can help. Of course, some people seem to be able to make friends in just about any circumstance while others are not quite so outgoing and sure of themselves. And when someone is not outgoing and confident, it is easy to be overlooked.

Also, if someone looks considerably different or does something that somehow gives people the impression he or she is not interested in being friends with anyone else, few people will make the effort to befriend the person. Most people subconsciously know there is a risk of rejection when trying to befriend someone, and sometimes that fear of hurt will keep them from taking the steps that could result in making a good friend.

Sometimes being persistent in trying to make friends is what is needed. As hard as it may be, continue to act friendly, not frustrated, because being a downer can drive people away. Certainly you should discuss your frustrations with God. He says He is a help and support to those who are in need, such as the fatherless (Psalm 68:5). Jesus Christ even stated that while all the disciples would desert Him when He was arrested and leave Him alone, He was not really alone because He always knew the Father was with Him (John 16:32). So God is always there to help and says He will never forsake us or leave us (Hebrews 13:5).

We also encourage you to talk with someone who knows you—your parents, your pastor or another adult whom you trust in your congregation—and ask him or her to help you with the feelings of rejection. Ask the person if he or she sees anything in your behavior that might be misunderstood or otherwise be giving people the "wrong signals." The person might also be able to direct you toward one or two of the upstanding young people in your area who would be willing to befriend you and help you gain acceptance in the rest of the group.