We stood on top of the 100-foot cliff looking down at the pool of water at the end of rapids near Hood River, Oregon. My friend suddenly decided that he wanted to jump off a much lower cliff. I wanted to show off. So I took a running leap and plummeted 100 feet toward the cloudy water below.

People get hurt or killed by jumping into untested waters! How it felt when I landed is another story, but fortunately there was nothing under the water. There could have been a submerged log, rocks or it could have been very shallow. The point is, we didn't check it out and test the water first. I'm just thankful to be alive to write this article.

However, is there a time when you should not test the waters before jumping in? Yes!

When to NOT test the waters

Recently my wife and I read "The Pros and Cons of Living in Sin" on Foxnews.com and found it both informative and appalling. The article cited how widely acceptable cohabitation is today. The author seemed to favor couples living together before marriage to see if they really wanted to take the marital plunge.

We've all heard about living together and likely know people who do it. Some readers may have even thought about cohabiting themselves. Bad idea. There are no pros to living in sin, only cons.

The author of Hebrews tells us, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). An undefiled bed is one shared by a married couple.

In our throwaway society, cohabitation cheapens marriage—making partners into things you throw away if you decide you don't like them.

When you're prepared and ready for marriage, you should take the plunge. But you shouldn't rush in. Godly dating is a right way to test the waters. The purpose of this type of dating is to get to know the person well and so to determine compatibility. A premarital sexual relationship is not part of the true dating equation.

There are no cons to living God's way of life, only pros. He shows us throughout the Bible that blessings come from following Him. A happy marriage is the foundation of great blessings. It is based on total commitment and trust, which cannot exist in the transience of cohabitation.

Jump in with your eyes open

When I jumped into that pool of water off a 100-foot cliff, I had a blind trust that I'd be safe—that there was nothing harmful beneath the water. As soon as I leaped, I was certainly committed.

When it comes to choosing a marriage partner for life, you shouldn't jump in blindly, but after really getting to know the person, you should jump in with total trust and commitment that you have chosen wisely using godly principles with your eyes wide open.

Cohabitation is no way to show love to your partner. It shows that you have no intention of being together "till death do us part." It's totally about self and the convenience of being able to leave a relationship with no strings attached.

Marriage should be based on selfless, unconditional, fully committed love toward your mate. These are not waters to be tested and tried to see if it is comfortable enough for you. To consider this more, read "Saving Sex for Marriage—What Does God Want Us to Do?" VT