As dual-career parents head to work, they commonly drop off their preschool-aged children at day care facilities—places where employees are among the lowest-paid and least-trained in all industries. Yet parents trust these facilities to take care of their most precious resource—their children.

The problems with most day care facilities are well known. While studies show that high-quality day care does not seem to harm children, other studies have found a correlation between the amount of time a child spends in day care with his or her later aggression and disobedience in school.

Health is another problem for children in day care. Parents often bring sick children to day care—where they infect others—because they can't or don't want to take a day off work. Further, when mothers work outside the home, their children often measure less ready for school—in other words, they are developmentally delayed.

Day care studies are always done with the assumption that what is being provided is high-quality day care. But all day care is not high quality. Why? Poor pay and demanding conditions are two of the major problems.

Child-care facilities with large numbers of children are simply unable to provide the sustained, personal, one-on-one attention that is so necessary for the healthy development of children.

Why have Americans embraced such changes that harm children? According to psychologist Robert Evans, who also worked as a teacher, it is because of rampant individualism. We think of "the individual as the basic unit rather than the family itself" (Family Matters: How Schools Can Cope With the Crisis in Child Rearing, 2004, p. 128).

"Rampant individualism" is a nicer way of describing the human perspective than what Paul wrote regarding the outlook people would have in the last days. Of this time, Paul wrote that "men will be lovers of themselves . . ." (2 Timothy 3:2). Rather than focusing on what is best for our children and best for society, Paul said people would focus on their own perceived needs and wants.

"What's missing from too many American households is, as journalist Caitlin Flanagan puts it, 'the one thing you can't buy—the presence of someone who cares deeply and principally about that home and the people who live in it; who is willing to spend [time] thinking about what those people are going to eat and what clothes they will need for which occasions'" (Evans, p. 137).

Economic needs are commonly cited as the reason children are placed in day care facilities. The reality, however, is that many times most of the money earned ends up being spent on the day care itself and eating out because no one has been at home to prepare a meal.

Even though true financial gains can sometimes be obtained, a commendable number of parents have now given their children's needs the highest priority and are choosing a lower standard of living so they can have a higher standard of family. While some mothers remain at home with their children to accomplish this, others are finding work when their husband is at home with the children or doing work that can be done from home.

The suffering being experienced by so many today is reversible. We and our children do not have to be victims. Being a good parent means putting our children's needs ahead of our own desires. If you have children, why not give them what they want and need—a positive, encouraging home where they are taught God's standards by both of their parents living together in peace? GN

(Excerpted from our free booklet Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension. The Bible has much to say about coping with the pressures and demands so many families face today. This booklet highlights the biblical keys to a happy, successful marriage and family, setting out some of the fundamental steps you can take and practical things you can do to better manage the daily demands of family and career. It also explains the spiritual significance of marriage and family that reflects a much greater plan and purpose—that every human being eventually become part of God's divine family.)