"Father, Please Heal My Broken Heart"

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How can you mend this broken man? How can a loser ever win? Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

These lyrics from a popular song of the ’70s, “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?” by the Bee Gees, can certainly make us reflect on our own broken hearts. How many of you have a broken heart now, or have had your heart broken in the past? You have this huge gaping hole in your heart that was left by someone or circumstances. How many of you feel that this hole can never be filled and that you will be left with the hollow in your heart forever?

There can be many reasons why we are left with a broken heart: the death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, loss of status, loss of health, betrayal by a friend, loss of a child and, yes, loss of your childhood. All of these reasons can leave you a broken man or woman.

Along with enormous blessings, I have also had great sorrow in my life. The biggest sorrow of all was the loss of my childhood and never knowing what a loving father is like. I never heard my father say “I love you” or “I am very proud of you.” I never experienced what it is like to feel secure, with a strong father in my life, protecting me and keeping me safe. This reality in my life has left a hole in my heart—an emptiness that I once felt could never be filled.

Even though we have these holes in our hearts, I am here to tell you that there is hope for you and me, and for all the brokenhearted. There is hope for those who sorrow, because there is a Healer who will mend our broken hearts. As David said in Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God wants to heal us of all of our wounds.

What is a wound? If you have ever had an injury or a deep cut, you know how painful it is and how it hurts to be touched. Oftentimes sorrow and loss are like deep wounds. They can be so painful that it seems no one or nothing can make the pain go away. Sometimes our heart is so broken that we can’t even express the words and nothing seems to take the pain away.

People who try to encourage us can’t seem to say the right thing. Like a deep wound, a broken heart will not heal overnight. Like some medicines that burn when you apply them to a skin wound, so can a well-meaning friend who says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Who wants to pour rubbing alcohol on an open wound? We search the stores to find an ointment that we can apply to our skin wound that will not burn and then cover it gently with a Band-Aid. It’s the same way with our broken heart. We need the right ointment to bring about healing.

So what is the right ointment for our hearts? How do we begin to heal? How can the hole in our hearts that is gaping open begin to close?

1. Recognize the pain and understand it is OK to hurt. Sometimes we seek to cover the pain by ignoring it or through other means like the use of alcohol or drugs, which will only cause us to get infected and reverse the healing process. Like a deep skin wound, we must apply the right ointment or a Band-Aid so we can begin to heal or else it can get infected and become worse. We cannot ignore our pain and think it will go away.

Understand that it is OK to hurt. We try to push the hurt away, but we can’t. The hurt isn’t outside of us—it’s inside. So, in our attempt to push the hurt away, we actually push the hurt deeper inside. We then can spend the rest of our life running from this suppressed hurt.

By going through our hurts, we are a part of the human race—millions of people who are going through similar pains. It is during this time that we need a lot of love, encouragement and hope restored. We realize how frail we are and see our great need for God.

It is a time to reflect on the true meaning of life and the greatest opportunity of all to draw close to God. It is an opportunity to learn empathy toward others who are going through the same things. You cannot do all of these things if you try to ignore the pain.

2. Seek the Healer. Seek God as your healer! Just like you tell a doctor your symptoms, tell God how much you were wounded and need His healing touch. He will hear the cries of the broken. God the Father wants to reach down, take your hand, and walk you through your pain. It may take weeks. For many of us it will take years, perhaps even a lifetime to close the wounds of our hearts completely. God will spend as much time and as many years as necessary to help you through it.

He wants to gently apply the daily salve or ointment of His Holy Spirit to your heart until your heart is healed. I know this because He has done it with me. When I am down, He lifts me up in many different ways. He is there for me to cry on His shoulder, so to speak, and then sends His encouraging Spirit to get me back up and going again.

King David said in Psalm 56:8, “You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” God was so aware of David that He even collected his tears. In the same way God is involved and aware of our pain, our joys, our failures, our accomplishments.

When Hezekiah was stricken with sickness, he poured out his heart to God. God heard him and saw his tears. God was moved with compassion. “Return and tell Hezekiah the leader of My people, ‘Thus says the LORD, the God of David your father: “I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; surely I will heal you”’” (2 Kings 20:5). God saw Hezekiah’s tears. Understand that God can be closer to us when the pain is so great than at any other times in our life.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit,” wrote David (Psalm 34:18, NIV). Ask and receive God’s love and encouragement, because He is very near to you. God can work with a heart that has a hole in it, because the need is so great for it to be filled.

3. Reach out to others. As God has reached out to us, so we should be an instrument of God to reach out and help others who are in pain. Solomon recognized the fact that people need to be comforted. In Ecclesiastes 4:1 it says, “Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed—and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors—and they have no comforter” (NIV).

Ask God to use you to encourage others through their pain. By your own pain you will be able to understand and help in a far greater way. Christ our Savior was in all points tested and understands all that you go through. He reached out to us by giving His life so that we would be healed.

Isaiah 61:1-3 discusses Christ’s mission: “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor” (NIV).

This will come to pass when Christ returns, but in the meantime we should make it our mission to follow this example, and be instruments of healing by taking the time to care for those who are in pain and hurting. By reaching out to others, our own pain will begin to disappear; the holes in our hearts will begin to close.

Healing takes time

It takes time to heal. In my life, after 25 years, there is still a hole in my heart, but it’s much smaller because of God. Every time I feel God’s presence, every time I see God’s intervention in my life, every time I reach out to someone else, every time God grants me blessings, the hole in my heart gets smaller and is being replaced with God’s heart.

When God returns to this earth, the hole in our hearts and in mankind’s hearts will be filled and mended. There will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow and no more holes to fill in an empty heart—for all our hearts will be filled with God’s Spirit. For as Psalm 126:5 promises, “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.” God will heal all broken hearts. We will no longer feel sad for what we lacked in this physical life because God will fill our hearts and make us complete.

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Comments

  • Trimble123

    You wrote: He wants to gently apply the daily salve or ointment of His Holy Spirit to your heart until your heart is healed. I know this because He has done it with me. When I am down, He lifts me up in many different ways. He is there for me to cry on His shoulder, so to speak, and then sends His encouraging Spirit to get me back up and going again.
    So until your heart is healed daily? Can this be a daily healing where the same situational pain can keep coming back and we feel the healing when we cry out to him on a daily basis? Because i do feel his peace when i call out to Him daily .... but daily we can still feel the pain until it vanishes like you said it can take weeks or months or years. I hope i made sense. And can it feel like we are not getting healed but we actually are? Also is it possible to feel heal from something we struggled with then years later it comes back? Is it refirmation or there was still a bit more in that situation that needed more healing so He gives us rest? Thank you so much for this article its a blessing!!!

  • Janet Treadway

    Thanks Janet for your comments. By the way your name "Janet" means "God's gracious gift." Janet some things we may never heal from but each day with God's help and encouragement it will get better. God is a gracious. And God cares so deeply for all of us. In the end our heart will be completely healed along with our bodies. In the meantime we must rely on our God each day to encourage us through it.

  • Alice

    Please pray for me and with me I met a young man dated him for two years then had to leave because he cheated on me. Later, an ex girlfriend said she had gone to a witch doctor who gave her a charm that eventually led to our separation .
    I gave him another chance two years later. We started dating again in the second year his dad died, my brother told me to leave him alone and I kept trying to break up with him. However one night after going out together we came home and slept after which the next morning on asking him about some girl he hit me . I was shocked and got very scared of him to date.
    Things never went back to normal, I discovered I was pregnant and he asked me to take an abortion which I did. Less than two months later even taking precautuions I was pregnant he beat me up and I had to take it out again. I decided to leave but he promised never to do so again being vulnerable and feeling useless I went back. One night I went to see him he beat me up and called me a prostitute as I was lying on the floor as I had nowhere to go he beat me up and called another lady who came to our bed that we slept in and they went to the bedroom the whole night. I am broken .

  • Janet Treadway

    Alice I am so sorry you are going through this. You need to get out! I wrote an article "Get Out, Your Life May Depend on it!" by Janet Treadway. It is on this website or google it. Please read it. I pray that there is a safe house you can go to. Don't go back. You deserve better! You are not useless! You are very special to God. He has far greater plans for you than this life. He will help you. Hugs.

  • walkbyfaith

    I know from the depth of my heart that I need to heal and I can't do it alone, I need God and I need to trust Him and have no fear. I will ask you all to pray for me that I will and that finally I can return back to my man, whom I look at as my husband and that he will be waiting for me and we can come together as one under God's love.
    May God bless you all.

  • walkbyfaith

    My dear friends,
    I am writing today to ask all of you to lift me in your prayers. Just few days ago my boyfriend broke up with me. I must say that the Lord has to bless this man for his patience. He is nine years older than I am and we are in distance relationship but we did everything to make sure we saw each other and spent time during the week on skype. What led to our breakup is my past. I have some unresolved issues from the past. I was in a 8 year relationship where I was abused emotionally and physically. After I met my with my boyfriend, I thought I had moved on from the previous relationship but the insecurities and the fears started to creep in. We broke up a year ago and he told me that I need to work on myself, take care of myself then start the relationship again and that he will wait for me for which he did. But I never broke away from my patterns of the past and continued to do the same things over and over doubting him, accusing him of all sorts of things.Finally he told me he had enough and that really I need to get it right with the past and with God and that he is a crutch in my life right now. I need to get this right on my own.

  • gale

    i am experiencing the same thing now. im 26. i was in a seven year relationship with my boyfriend. he was a college classmate. everything was fine between us. we both believed that God is the center of our relationship. we grew together in Christ. however, 4 months ago, i was assigned to go to japan for work training. we had constant communication on the !st month. two weeks later, there was none. suddenly he asked for us to break up saying he's no longer happy. it was so painful! i could not come to him because we were miles apart. after a month i went back to the country and tried to talk to him but he wouldn't. i found out later that he has found a new love. my heart was shattered into pieces. i tried talking to him once more but he totally shut me off from social media and all means of communications. i want to ask God how this happened. i feel like there is no point in living now. please help me.

  • Janet Treadway

    So sorry Gillian for the pain you are going through. It simply takes time. Pour your heart out to God and ask for his comfort and kindness. He is so aware of you and the pain you are enduring. One day at a time. There is a point to living! Sometimes we can't see beyond the moment and of what we are going through. Ask God to help you! Ask God to encourage you! Find a trusted friend to talk to as well. You matter to God! So seek Him and ask for encouragement! It is always darkest before the dawn. God has a purpose for you so that is why you get up every day, and you keep going until you understand what God's plan is for you! In Jeremiah 29:11; For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I know you have been hurt, but God’s purpose for you is far greater than that! Seek Him for he deeply cares for you! I will pray for you Gillian that God will heal your broken heart! One day at a time because you will come to see that it is worth living! Reach out and help others! So many people need to be encouraged as well! One day at a time, as it will get better!

  • Lena VanAusdle

    Gillian, I am so sorry for your hurt. It's always so difficult when we lose someone who has meant so much to us. But, please, don't give up! You mentioned that God was the center of your relationship, then rely on God as the center of who you are now. You have a purpose! Take the time to seek it now. I'll be praying for you.

  • Jack hibbs

    Hey guys... And girls!! So I've been reading the posts from other people and their brokenness and I just had to share mine. So I met this girl when I was a junior and she was a freshman and quickly I knew that she was different. She and I had the most awesome friendship that we ever had. Then her dad told us that we couldn't be together anymore and that basically crushed us. So we decide to wait till she was older to date... Yesterday she told me that we shouldn't because it might not work out then and it would hurt us even more. She feels like the best thing to do is to just move on and not be together. That crushed me and her, we've gone through many " splits " before but nothing that we could fix... Now this time it's different. This is my first true love and first real heartbreak because of a relationship with a girl. I just need a lot of encouragement and prayers that God will show me what I should do about this. I really thought that she was the one God had chosen for me because it seem so real. We both love each other and love God. It was great, then things started happening and everything was getting harder. Please just talk to me I'll just give you my # **telephone number removed to comply with comment policy** thnx!!!

  • MariahbaFitch

    I have a very similar situation, to the above. In 2013, I was in a relationship with a great guy...fast forward six months later-he broke up with me. Well it's been two years since that, and a month ago, we got back together again. But after three weeks, and our relationship getting serious (if that's possible as middle aged teenagers) and so two weeks ago, he said we should stop it, and just wait until we are older, and can officially date. Im almost positive I found the one, and it hurt a lot. But now, I see that he did it for the best. It's hard waiting, and waiting, and it's horrible how quickly things changed. But I do know that Gods hand is in all of this. What happens is a part of his magnificent plan for my life. It may hurt now, but I know that he will heal my broken heart.

  • lost
    I choosed her , leaving my family ,my job...and decided to move ( this decision followed by many complications ,which put me under big stress) , I spent only 3 months in her country , people were seeing me as smart, I got scholarship to do my master there , by the language of that country..it was something very strange for all people around , how I can do that..i was fighting and asking GOD blessings..but I was alone , she start to be a little distant with me , I asked her many times that I need her so close , I left all for her and still fighting to build new future for us , it took 6 months ,then I got overwhelmed , by problem related to my family...and she did a mistake against me so I exploded on her , I shouted..and was rude..i was consumed nervously..then she said sorry , she appreciate how the hard times am in..but after 1 month , she re called this accident against me...she start to ignore me ,I was doing my best to say sorry , fight in university in morning and in night go to her home by flowers , nice surprise ,etc... in short ,oneday she come and tell me , I loved you but now I don't feel it..am sorry ,we won't be for each other , It was big shock for me...
  • lost
    it was so encouraging to read such comments , I signed up to share my story , maybe I get a good advice, I feel so heartbroken can't sleep , eat , feel like I don't want to leave my room, when am alone , my tears go down from my pain...I am after 3 years a relationship , I was so successful person , blessed by great family ..and I loved my gf so much , I called her the love of my life , I thought God gave me her to bless my life , she had hard times ,depression , she didn't believe in me ,even she said she loves me , I supported her for 1 year , she was know that am for her like a home , she did a lot of mistakes against me ,but I absorbed them by my great love to her ,she was from different country , when time was so hard for her ,I was inviting her to my country to spend 1 month with my lovely family who gave her kind , generous , treating , I supported her spiritually ,socially ,educationally , with me she start to blossom , she told me a lot of sweet words and that she appreciate me and she is blind by love to me ....then we decided to be together , she said it is better to live in her country ....even I was near to get promotion while I was only 25 ,,,was great success , but
  • Pamela Joan Bartholomew
    Hi Lin, Mentally give all your feelings up to God and ask Him to give you the thoughts He wants you to have. Ask Him to heal your broken heart. Have you told her how you feel? Have you asked her why she broke it off? If you are having trouble working or living your life, consider counseling. You say you pray for God's will. What if He wants someone else for you or for you to make some changes first? Drawing close to God in fasting for a day here and there in prayer and Bible study would help bring you closer to knowing His will if your health will allow that. Getting your mind to focus on activities you love to do could help. I really hope things get better for you.
  • Lin
    I post this very broken and hurt. My fiance broke off our relationship several months ago. I know she loves me and I love her. I'm asking for prayer for reconcilitaion. The way she came into my life (I believe) was perfect timing. I believe she is supposed to be my wife. I pray for Gods will be done...I hurt beyond the point of functioning at times....I constantly pray and believe that healing will come....but i'm so miserable. I want to communicate but afraid of getting hurt more. I pray that God will stir her heart and I'll know what to do. At times I see and experience things that give me hope...no question its from from God!.....then it seems my faith just flounders and I'm hurting again and questioning was it just coincidence? I'm asking for prayer friends...that i'll do whats right....that she will do whats right...and peace will fill my heart....I feel like i cant take much more. I believe in miracles
  • Malachi 3_16-18
    Hi H. Hunter, Certainly I will pray for you and for your family. This is a very hard thing to be going through. I pray that you will do the right things, and remain strong in doing so.
  • KARS
    I read your story Mr. Hunter and your prayer request. My God our Father's will be done in your life Sincerely, KARS
  • Janet Treadway
    I Will pray for you H. Hunter That God will give you strength no matter how it turns out. Just think of the kids and be the best father you can be. They need that. God will see you through this.
  • H.Hunter
    Messaged her with faithful loving supportive messages. she showed them to me and we cried together, amazing kids putting their shoulders out for us. I do not see my life with out her and my kids, I pray. and tonight maybe you pray for me as well, she has begun "seeing" another man. This shakes my foundation not with anger but with sadness that she won't come to me for the comfort she sees in him. I will not give up on my marriage, I will not give up on my family. We have been together 7 1/2 years. I will try. I told her tonight ."you can come home, it's your home and the door is always open, no matter what may have been done. Home is always here.thank you if you can send a small prayer to help me be strong and kind and good. I stood before god and swore to be her husband, I will keep that promise. I was not a good husband, But I will be, I can't change the past but I will be gods man,her man, a better man. One chance to prove I'm worthy of being loved.
  • H.Hunter
    So, I am here tonight because my wife left me. She has been gone 4 weeks. Prior to that I hadto take a job 3000 miles from home.while she stayed home to try to wrap up loos e ends and family stuff. She visited me in November. During her visit she was distant and pained. On the last day she was there, she said she wasn't in love with me anymore and she wanted a divorce. I panicked, two days after she flew home I quit my job and drove straight home, no rest to sleep. That was dangerous but I was broken. During trip she said once to me, "just get home, I need you home and we'll work it out." So I was determined. When I arrived she acted of fish and cold. Finally within two weeks of me being home she said she could not be here anymore I had changed and she just couldn't make herself love me. She left that Tuesday morning. 4 weeks ago. We talk, not well. I try. I have sought counseling, got a new job I start in 8 hours, I pray for sleep tonight, and I'm trying. Tonight I met her at store to buy work clothes, she helped me as I have no money. I asked if she'd have dinner with me, she said yes. We have 3 teens, 2 from her previous, and my son from mine. Both the older kids had messaged
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