Been reading this morning the book of Philemon. I find in it a timely lesson about dealing with difficult issues and difficult people. The apostle Paul wrote a master’s thesis in tact and diplomacy, showing us how to move matters forward in a way that lets everyone grow and learn.

Philemon was a Church member who also owned a slave, Onesimus. Onesimus had run away to Paul in Rome who made him a convert. Paul, acknowledging the legal right of Philemon was sending the slave back to his owner.

But things had changed. Now both were Christians, with higher obligations and citizenship. How to get this across? Paul chooses not to use his authority except to persuade Onesimus to use his liberty to create unity. This he does.

Verse 21 is the key statement: “Having confidence in your obedience I wrote unto you, knowing that you will also do more than I say.”

Notice Paul has confidence that Onesimus will obey without being forced, coerced or hammered. Paul does not have to “pull rank”. He appeals to both a relationship and Onesimus’ maturity. Paul is confident Onesimus will do the right thing.

You can only imagine Onesimus receiving the letter and thinking through not only what is being asked but the manner in which it is asked. Does he sense that Paul is treating him as an adult rather than a child? Does he see that he must put aside his legal right as a Roman to do with Philemon as he wishes–subjugating that right to the higher right of a Christian duty to treat his brother Onesimus as a spiritual equal and brother?

You hope so.

We don’t know the outcome. We can only read how Paul approached it and understand this is instruction for us today with our relationships. To achieve peace and unity we are all sometimes asked to put aside our rights and the culture of the moment to see what God requires. We are all one in Christ. When we put aside gender, race, ethnicity, pride, rights and self we have a chance to create unity and peace.