Many times I have been offended and many times I have offended. It is an unpleasant part of life. It is when I decided not to be offended that I turned the corner on emotional maturity. It is a lesson worth learning.

My class in the Book of Acts recently covered the account in Acts 7 where Stephen gave a masterful history of Israel in his defense before the Jewish leaders. My eye caught the story of Joseph and I was reminded of how Joseph was “offended” on multiple occasions and managed to throw them all behind him and accomplish significant things with his life. Here is what Acts 7: 9-14 says:

“And the patriarchs, becoming envious, sold Joseph into Egypt. But God was with him and delivered him out of all his troubles, and gave him favor and wisdom in the presence of Pharaoh, king of Egypt; and he made him governor over Egypt and all his house. Now a famine and great trouble came over all the land of Egypt and Canaan, and our fathers found no sustenance. But when Jacob heard that there was grain in Egypt, he sent out our fathers first. And the second time Joseph was made known to his brothers, and Joseph’s family became known to the Pharaoh. Then Joseph sent and called his father Jacob and all his relatives to him, seventy-five people.”

Joseph’s story contains all the important elements that hold your attention. Envy, treachery, redemption and restoration are all found here, it’s why the story speaks to us today. Joseph was loved by his father, envied by his brothers, betrayed by a scorned woman and forgotten in an Egyptian prison–but remembered by God at all the right moments.

To me, the instructive moment is when Joseph’s brothers beg forgiveness for “offending” him all those years before. Joseph showed he had chosen not to be offended when he said, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.” (Genesis 50:19-21).

Joseph chose not to be offended. Without the emotional clutter that accompanies such a choice–anger, fear and thoughts of revenge– Joseph got on with his life and did many good things. Joseph knew God was behind his life. God was with him through the difficult and challenging events. His life had context.

Joseph had learned to not be offended. It is a good life lesson. Move on and ignore much of what offends us with people. Make it a point not to offend others in word or deed. When it happens to you determine to ignore it and move on. Most often people don’t really mean to offend – choose to think better of them.

If, on occasion, serious and true offense is given then choose how you will deal with it. Go to the person and deal directly with the problem in the moment. Or, it you choose, pass on and have no further dealings with them. The key is to deal with the matter effectively and not let it eat away at your emotions.

Move on with life, like Joseph.