Make It a Priority to Teach Your Children to Care
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Make It a Priority to Teach Your Children to Care
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![In this uncaring, entitled, angry, negative, competitive world, this is more reason why we need to start early in teaching our children to care. A young boy.](https://www.ucg.org/files/styles/full_grid9_breakpoints_theme_top_hat_mobile_1x/public/image/article/2017/03/29/make-it-a-priority-to-teach-your-children-to-care.jpg?timestamp=1493753120)
Recently my second cousin Sean won an award for caring. He also won the best Cub Scout award for this year in his area. Sean won those because he has been a very busy little 8-year-old in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Sean started with saving his allowance so he could buy pizza for the local police department. He wanted to show them appreciation for all they do for the community. However, that was just the beginning.
Teach your children to care by doing, by praying and by teaching. If every parent did this, we would have a much different world.
He next decided to collect coloring books and crayons to donate to The East Tennessee Children's Hospital. The Roane County Sheriff's Office heard about Sean’s project and decided to get involved. The officers collected and gave him a $100 gift card toward his project. The police officers did not forget Sean’s kindness to them and wanted to give back.
Sean’s actions reminded me of an episode of The Andy Griffith Show I recently watched. In the show the topic came up about caring. Andy found out that his 8-year-old son Opie only gave three cents to a local children’s charity at school. Mortified, Andy talked with Opie about it. He asked his little boy why he only gave a measly three cents when he had over two dollars saved in his piggy bank. Opie’s reply was, “I am saving it for my girlfriend Charlotte so I can buy her a present.”
Andy, upset with Opie, sent him to his room so he could think about what was more important to contribute to, a charity or his girlfriend. When Opie came to dinner that night, Andy realized he had come down too hard on Opie and told him it was OK if he used his money for his girlfriend. It was then that Opie told his dad that he was buying his girlfriend a coat. Opie went on to say that her coat was ragged and her parents did not have the money to buy her a new coat. Therefore, he decided to save his allowance to buy her new coat. Andy was embarrassed that he had overreacted but pleased that his son had a caring heart after all.
Opie and Sean were able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Christine Carter, Ph.D., a sociologist and happiness expert at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, explains, “Putting yourself in someone else's shoes is also a crucial building block for other caring emotions. It’s how we develop gratitude, hope, and compassion—which is the ability to act on your empathy" ("11 Ways to Raise a Compassionate Child," babiesdailynews.com, Nov. 22, 2016).
Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., a senior fellow at the Child Trauma Academy in Houston, and the co-author of Born for Love says, "Empathy is probably the greatest single gift of our species" (quoted by Elizabeth Foy Larsen, "11 Ways to Raise a Compassionate Child," Parents magazine).
We live in a world where parents are very involved in running their children to sports and school events because they want their kids to achieve success. Parents feel that achieving is what will give their children ultimate happiness, but is that the only key to happiness?
The “Making Caring Common” project run by Harvard psychologist Richard Weissbourd released a study that revealed that 80 percent of the youth in the study said their parents were more concerned with their achievement or happiness than whether they cared for others. The interviewees were also three times more likely to agree: “My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.”
Weissbourd and his group have come up with recommendations about how to raise children to become caring, respectful and responsible adults. Here are some of them.
1. Make caring for others a priority
Children need to hear from parents that caring for others is a top priority—even more important than their achievements.
2. Provide opportunities for children to practice caring and gratitude
Many years ago, our youth group took a group of teens to a homeless shelter. They worked on the soup line. For many, they had never seen a person who was homeless. It was a sobering lesson on many levels. Three things stood out from this trip. First, it showed them what could happen to them if they make wrong choices. Second, it taught them that they had a lot to be grateful for. And third, it helped them to have compassion for those who are hard on their luck.
3. Be the example
You should be caring for others—and including your children teaches them to care as well. “Walk the walk!” Let them see you giving of yourself to others. Take your children to visit the elderly in nursing homes. My husband and I took our children on a weekly basis to visit people at the nursing home. Many never receive visitors, so for them to spend time with a young person is so valuable—both for your child and the elderly person. We also took them to visit an inmate every other weekend.
4. Send cards to the sick
5. Visit the sick and children in the hospital
6. Teach them to pray for those in need, and show them by example of praying yourself
In this uncaring, entitled, angry, negative, competitive world, this is more reason why we need to start early in teaching our children to care. In doing so, you will be raising happier, more thoughtful children who will receive many blessings from God for reaching out and caring.
At work, I have this scripture on my desk to remind me of what God expects of me and of all of us: “One person gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (Proverbs 11:24-25, New International Version). God blesses us for being generous and reaching out!
Teach your children to care by doing, by praying and by teaching. If every parent did this, we would have a much different world.