To forgive a fellow Christian for an offense first requires us to recognize the magnitude of the mercy that has been shown to us for the forgiveness of our own debts. Jesus Christ died in our place for the sins that we have committed (1 Peter 2:23-24). As a result of His atoning sacrifice, our sins are forgiven, and God puts our sins away from us as far as east is from west (Psalm 103:12). This sacrifice was offered for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). While we were still treating God poorly—transgressing His law—He gave His only Son.

We as Christians are admonished to put away anger, malice, bitterness and wrath, and be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another as God has forgiven us.

Secondly, because of the incredible mercy that has been extended to us, we have a spiritual responsibility to extend that mercy to others—to show love to them, even if they aren’t behaving in a way that is particularly deserving of that love. Christ instructed us to love our enemies, to do good to those who spitefully use us, to bless those who curse us, and to be merciful to others as our Father is merciful to us (Luke 6:27-36). This godly love should be a hallmark of a Christian (John 13:34).

Lastly, we have to recognize that we’re all learning and growing together, and that our patience and love is essential as we grow together. We must endeavor to be patient with one another, bearing each other’s faults in love, and forgiving as we were forgiven (Ephesians 4:12; Colossians 3:13). It isn’t always easy. Sometimes people can do terribly hurtful things to us, but we cannot let their actions control us and our attitude.

There is a quote that says “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” There is a degree of truth to this statement. Holding a grudge and not forgiving someone often has a greater negative effect on you and your spiritual condition than it does on the person who wronged you. Instead, we as Christians are admonished to put away anger, malice, bitterness and wrath, and be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another as God has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:31-32).