Have you ever seen a situation in which you wanted to do something but were afraid you might say or do something wrong or unhelpful? I have.

Admittedly, there can be situations that may not be our business. If that is the case, realize it quickly and leave it alone, an issue for another time. But there may be times you encounter a situation where your heart is moved to help, but you are not sure how.

I had four brothers, one of whom was born with Down Syndrome and a number of even more challenging conditions. I was his legal guardian for the last 35 years of his life. It was difficult for my parents and later for me to deal with countless situations that involved difficult, binding decisions. When I see people in similar situations, I cannot turn away. I recall that Proverbs instructs: “Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death. Don’t excuse yourself by saying, ‘Look, we didn’t know.’ For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve” (Proverbs 24:11-12, New Living Translation). This reminds us how important it is to be aware of serious situations of which we may be able to help, versus living in denial of the fact that I could do something to make the situation better.

I have been blessed to meet families in Church at Feast of Tabernacles sites etc., that, like me, faced similar challenging situations. Each time I was moved to action by considering the difficult times they faced as their lot in life. As I reached out to them, I experienced some feelings of nervousness but was able to overcome the apprehension by focusing on their needs and offering to serve.

It may seem easier to approach these situations with understanding and sensitivity when you’ve already had a similar experience. But, the fact is, anyone can choose to humbly ask God for ways to serve when they see someone who may be struggling.

I suggest your perspective should be: “I don't have to know or have the answers, just ask.” You could say something like, “How are you, really? But, if you’d rather not share, that’s fine.” Or you could say, “You appear to be distressed.” This may open a door and lead to meaningful conversation and additional ways to help and serve.

At the Feast of Tabernacles one year, I was saddened to hear one family tell me that they were rarely asked by brethren how they were getting along. It struck me how important it is to reach out and show true care and concern for others.

When faced with these circumstances, start by giving your ears and your heart, right then and there. Ask God to help you serve if you can (Proverbs 3:27-28). Don’t minimize or judge them, but encourage an open and healing connection so they may feel understood and supported (Proverbs 18:13). You can also make it a point not to ignore other family members who may feel neglected because of the necessary care and attention given to one family member. For me, reaching out resulted in that family feeling encouraged and comfortable enough to talk for a number of hours, sharing their situation.

People, in and out of Church struggle with many isolating and lonely battles. If you prove to someone that you are a “safe place” to trust and to share with, and you sense it is the appropriate time, you could use Fred Rogers’ simple but powerful question, “What’s the matter?” There may be potential here for fulfilling Galatians 6:2 to, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” 

A good way to learn how some of your brothers and sisters are working through serious difficulties is to visit the Breaking Free blog at ucg.org. They have much to share that may help in breaking the silence that typically surrounds issues of overcoming.

We await the return of Jesus Christ, the Mighty God and Counselor (Isaiah 9:6), who will begin to create a safe place when He returns to earth. As His helpers and “princes” (Isaiah 32:1), we will become hiding places and “shelters” (Isaiah 32:2), for those who live through the Great Tribulation. So, as we look forward to that time ahead, let’s be present for others today by choosing to “just ask.”